entheogen808 Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by somebitch well i dunno, i think that would be great and all but there is no documentation binding you. you could easily run off and deny it ever even happened if need be. with real marriage it is a much stronger commitment but people do that anyway, and besides, how hard is it to get a divorce nowadays. hasn't the increased divorce rate cheapened that bind? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by entheogen808 that's why i said church or state. why not just go to some field with some of your most intimate friends and family and proclaim your mutual love for one another in front of the people that matter? Like I said, there are legal advantages to marriage. A lot of them are unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Others are very important... if something were to happen to either one of you, wouldn't you rather your partner be guaranteed the right to make the legal and medical decisions, rather than a judge, or someone else in your family? Or if you got hit by a car, wouldn't you want her to be the one who was awarded the money in a cash settlement? I know these are really morbid thoughts, but shit happens. Especially if there are any children in the picture- proving paternity is not always an easy thing; if something happened to the mother, you might not easily be able to gain custody of your own children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
entheogen808 Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by tastyt Like I said, there are legal advantages to marriage. A lot of them are unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Others are very important... if something were to happen to either one of you, wouldn't you rather your partner be guaranteed the right to make the legal and medical decisions, rather than a judge, or someone else in your family? Or if you got hit by a car, wouldn't you want her to be the one who was awarded the money in a cash settlement? I know these are really morbid thoughts, but shit happens. Especially if there are any children in the picture- proving paternity is not always an easy thing; if something happened to the mother, you might not easily be able to gain custody of your own children. thats's what a living will is for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by entheogen808 but people do that anyway, and besides, how hard is it to get a divorce nowadays. hasn't the increased divorce rate cheapened that bind? I don't think it has. I think your marriage will be what the two of you make of it, and has nothing to do with what the rest of society is doing with theirs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by entheogen808 thats's what a living will is for. Is that legally binding? What if someone in your family tried to contest it?Anyway, if you're going to have to prepare all these other legal contracts in order to make sure your partner is provided for... then what's the big deal with signing the one legal contract that will guarantee it all anyway? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
entheogen808 Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by tastyt Is that legally binding? What if someone in your family tried to contest it?Anyway, if you're going to have to prepare all these other legal contracts in order to make sure your partner is provided for... then what's the big deal with signing the one legal contract that will guarantee it all anyway? yes, a living will is binding. it's me saying that i entrust her with my life and my belongings. the difference is that a living will is very specific as to what it is guaranteeing. the contract of marriage is like trying to guarantee love, faith, etc. all actual intangibles. a piece of paper doesn't guarantee any of those things. those are all things that can change from day to day, minute to minute, person to person, written or not. it's a contract that i've seen broken over and aver again. when was the last time you heard of a living will being broken? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by entheogen808 yes, a living will is binding. it's me saying that i entrust her with my life and my belongings. the difference is that a living will is very specific as to what it is guaranteeing. the contract of marriage is like trying to guarantee love, faith, etc. all actual intangibles. a piece of paper doesn't guarantee any of those things. those are all things that can change from day to day, minute to minute, person to person, written or not. it's a contract that i've seen broken over and aver again. when was the last time you heard of a living will being broken? Oh, of course, nothing is going to guarantee those intangibles. What I meant, was that a marriage license will guarantee all the legal issues we've mentioned. Even if a living will can't be broken, it can be changed, or revoked (or whatever the word is), just as a marriage can end in divorce. But either way you go about it, you're still involving legal contracts in matters of the heart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
entheogen808 Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by tastyt Oh, of course, nothing is going to guarantee those intangibles. What I meant, was that a marriage license will guarantee all the legal issues we've mentioned. Even if a living will can't be broken, it can be changed, or revoked (or whatever the word is), just as a marriage can end in divorce. But either way you go about it, you're still involving legal contracts in matters of the heart. nope. a living will does not involve the heart at all. unless you mean the physical heart when it ails. whereas a state sanctioned marriage does ask you to "love, honor, and cherish...forsaking all others" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by entheogen808 nope. a living will does not involve the heart at all. unless you mean the physical heart when it ails. whereas a state sanctioned marriage does ask you to "love, honor, and cherish...forsaking all others" But we're talking about creating a living will for a life partner, no? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgym Posted March 6 Author Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by entheogen808 nope. a living will does not involve the heart at all. unless you mean the physical heart when it ails. whereas a state sanctioned marriage does ask you to "love, honor, and cherish...forsaking all others" Im confused. What are you talking about?SOunds like you are discussing pre-nuptual agreement Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdancer Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Im going to live with my partner after I get engaged with her. Its better then waiting till after your married. It's a good way to see what life would be like with that person after marriage.. I can see if the girl is a pig and stuff too.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted March 6 Report Share Posted March 6 Originally posted by gmccookny Im confused. What are you talking about?SOunds like you are discussing pre-nuptual agreement No, a pre-nup would imply you're getting married, and he's saying he doesn't believe in marriage.But I think we may have gotten signals mixed, b/c I'm a bit lost now... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassa Posted March 7 Report Share Posted March 7 definitely NOT live with someone before marriage.you can find out a person's living habits before you marry them or choose to, living with them doesn't necessarily have to be the only way you will know this. depending on who you are, of course, i think that being with someone for that long without some sort of long-term promise will get tiring quick.....i know that if i saw someone i liked day in, day out, it'd get kind of tiring....also, if you're going to live with someone then, what's the point of getting married??? in the past it was considered bad taste and even disgraceful to live with your lover before you were married...but that was the perspective of that particular society. in some ways, i feel that we have lost so much morality and dignity in ourselves as humans. not to diss anyone who has done this before or is considering it, but why get married if you're going to shack up? marriage is just a legal commitment on a piece of paper right? or is it worth more? maybe i'm just too much of a nerd...i'm kind of ill today so if this doesn't make sense...just shoot me... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
njdionysus Posted March 7 Report Share Posted March 7 I speak from experience, most def live with them first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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