ravahstar Posted March 13 Report Share Posted March 13 How normal is it to have doubts about being with the person your with? I mean I love my bf but I seem to doubt our relationship everyday. For the facts that I'm trying to do whats right go to school, work...while he seems to be out chilling all day. I resent him at times like why do I gotta be the responsible one and you feel like you can do wutever you want. Like he has no plans to ever go to college and he wants a future with us but yet I wonder what a future with somebody like him would be like. I love him, but he is very controlling and don't want me going out without him or with him sometimes cuz he feels my place is in the house were its safe or some bullshit like that.How do you decide to end something that has obvious problems but when you still love them very much and can't picture being without them. When does having doubts go from being normal to being a sign to breakup:confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetie029 Posted March 13 Report Share Posted March 13 Originally posted by ravahstar How normal is it to have doubts about being with the person your with? I mean I love my bf but I seem to doubt our relationship everyday. For the facts that I'm trying to do whats right go to school, work...while he seems to be out chilling all day. I resent him at times like why do I gotta be the responsible one and you feel like you can do wutever you want. Like he has no plans to ever go to college and he wants a future with us but yet I wonder what a future with somebody like him would be like. I love him, but he is very controlling and don't want me going out without him or with him sometimes cuz he feels my place is in the house were its safe or some bullshit like that.How do you decide to end something that has obvious problems but when you still love them very much and can't picture being without them. When does having doubts go from being normal to being a sign to breakup:confused: As far as resenting him....I feel you on that 1 Most of the fights w/ my ex where over the fact I busted my ass while he sat home all day......Him saying he doesn;t want you going anywhere b/c YOUR PLACE IS IN THE HOUSE WHERE IT'S SAFE..... I hope you don;t listen to himDoubts are normal we all have doubts at times....But if you are uncertain about a future w/ him then you guys should talk........If he's a slacker....Not working or not going to school......... you have to consider what kind of future you 2 will eventually have......there's a time in life when hanging out with the boys should be replaced w/ acting like an adult & taking on responsibilities of some kind......If he can;t handle doing so.....That's a problem Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravahstar Posted March 13 Author Report Share Posted March 13 Him saying he doesn;t want you going anywhere b/c YOUR PLACE IS IN THE HOUSE WHERE IT'S SAFE..... I hope you don;t listen to himNo, I don't listen to him I basically laugh in his face, but I think he has some nerve for even saying it...now you can see why I have doubts:rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Posted March 13 Report Share Posted March 13 Originally posted by ravahstar How normal is it to have doubts about being with the person your with? I mean I love my bf but I seem to doubt our relationship everyday. For the facts that I'm trying to do whats right go to school, work...while he seems to be out chilling all day. I resent him at times like why do I gotta be the responsible one and you feel like you can do wutever you want. Like he has no plans to ever go to college and he wants a future with us but yet I wonder what a future with somebody like him would be like. I love him, but he is very controlling and don't want me going out without him or with him sometimes cuz he feels my place is in the house were its safe or some bullshit like that.How do you decide to end something that has obvious problems but when you still love them very much and can't picture being without them. When does having doubts go from being normal to being a sign to breakup:confused: You're place is at home??? Sure whateverSo, if he is controlling, talk to him, explain that you can't take his b.s. anymore, and that he's pushing you away...that you do love him and you can see a future together but not if he's going to act like an idiot.If he doesnt want to get his act together, then you cant force him...he's going to have to learn it on his own and if he doesnt and you do decide to have a future with him, I have a feeling you're not going to be very happy whatsoever Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tastyt Posted March 13 Report Share Posted March 13 My response is based on both of your threads...Every experience you have is going to have some effect on you, you can't just forget about your past as though it meant nothing. People who can't trust aren't able to be in a healthy relationship... it's precisely because he is unable to trust you that your boyfriend is a control freak. And that fact that he sees you bettering yourself, while he sits around like a lump, and realizes that you will probably one day outgrow him... doesn't help your situation.Obviously there are at least two sides to every story, but from the little that you've written, you are probably better off without him... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetie029 Posted March 13 Report Share Posted March 13 Originally posted by tastyt Obviously there are at least two sides to every story, but from the little that you've written, you are probably better off without him... I agree... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravahstar Posted March 13 Author Report Share Posted March 13 Originally posted by tastyt My response is based on both of your threads...Every experience you have is going to have some effect on you, you can't just forget about your past as though it meant nothing. People who can't trust aren't able to be in a healthy relationship... it's precisely because he is unable to trust you that your boyfriend is a control freak. And that fact that he sees you bettering yourself, while he sits around like a lump, and realizes that you will probably one day outgrow him... doesn't help your situation.Obviously there are at least two sides to every story, but from the little that you've written, you are probably better off without him... I think your right Tastyt. I think some of the reason he tries to control is so he knows what I'm doing and where I am so he knows I am not cheating or doing anything wrong. He pretty much tells me he dosen't trust me, but he dosen't trust anybody. Which leaves me in a bad position of loving him, but not being able to deal with somebody with no trust. And when you said that he sees me bettering myself while he's sitting around and realizes that I might outgrow him is tru too. He always thinks I'm going to find someone else because he dosen't meet up to my standards he thinks. Even though I tell him it dosen't really matter what he does, as long as he's TRYING to do something. Effort is key. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravahstar Posted March 13 Author Report Share Posted March 13 Originally posted by Destiny You're place is at home??? Sure whateverSo, if he is controlling, talk to him, explain that you can't take his b.s. anymore, and that he's pushing you away...that you do love him and you can see a future together but not if he's going to act like an idiot.If he doesnt want to get his act together, then you cant force him...he's going to have to learn it on his own and if he doesnt and you do decide to have a future with him, I have a feeling you're not going to be very happy whatsoever It's exactly like that too Destiny if he dosen't wanna get his act together than I can't force him. I can't make him change if he's not ready to do it on his own. And if he does he's gunna resent me for making him do something he wasn't ready for so I gotta either decide to deal with it or not. Trying to change somebody never works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetie029 Posted March 13 Report Share Posted March 13 Originally posted by ravahstar It's exactly like that too Destiny if he dosen't wanna get his act together than I can't force him. I can't make him change if he's not ready to do it on his own. And if he does he's gunna resent me for making him do something he wasn't ready for so I gotta either decide to deal with it or not. Trying to change somebody never works. Trying to change someone never works b/c you can't change someone....They can only change themselves.....& speaking from personal experience...If he doesn;t want to make some change for himself & you decide to deal with it.....You are going to make yourself miserable Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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