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sassa

marriage

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does anyone or has anyone in here ever thought of marriage? what comes with the territory, do you change mentally, emotionally...do you have to give up things, or gain things...

how would you get married...how long can you be engaged...

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i wanna get married, but i don't want kids, and it worries me that i'll have trouble finding someone who also doesn't want to have children. but it shouldn't be a problem if i actually do find my kindred spirit :D .

my wedding's gonna be dope, though; a lot like my friends' megan and jeff's. people can wear what they want as long as it's festive (they had a 50s cuban feel for the wedding, so everyone came brightly dressed and there were a lot of floral patterns 20.gif ), and i won't be caught dead in a boring white/off-white dress. it's supposed to be a happy occaision, right? i'm gonna dress accordingly!!!

i also don't intend to have a hierarchy of "maid of honor" or anything like that. that seems to just exclude people and it really serves no purpose. everyone at my wedding knows s/he is important to me, anyway :) .

as far as what changes occur when the marriage is official, i don't think there'd be all that many, as i plan to have lived with my fiancee for a while. if we can't get along living together, we can't be married, so that trial will already have been over and done with. marriage really is just symbolic (and now serves many legal purposes); i'd know i'd be intending to spend my life with the man anyway :D .

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Originally posted by sassa

how would you get married...how long can you be engaged...

i want to have it on a exotic island... small wedding, just a few friends, family, and thats it... small small small wedding.. i do not want any gifts, i do not want any politics, i do not want anything negative going on... at then end instead of throwing rice, or releasing doves, i want butterflies...

as for the children aspect of it all, im definately not ready for children right now...and i dont think id be good father so at this point in time id have to say i do not want any...

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answering my own question:

i'd also like a small wedding, and i definitely do not want people there that i don't give a damn about, or are associates or contacts with my family....ie. business partners and their ilk will not be invited...

i just want my best friends and family there...and it will be small too, for i think that is more intimate...

i won't have a traditional white dress either...i'd like something elegant but not too poofy...

i'd rather spend more energy on the honeymoon and what comes after that than a wedding....don't need proof of a lot of money blown for one day to show that you love me....

i don't want to have kids until i've been married for at least 3 years....better to know for sure also while you're married that this is going to last rather than allow your future children to go through a shitty breakup between their parents...3 years isn't a lot, but it's enough for me...even then, i'm going to be working and writing books, so i don't want to have 20 kids that i can't give all my attention,love,and focus to....

i guess that's about it....

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Originally posted by weyes

i wanna get married, but i don't want kids, and it worries me that i'll have trouble finding someone who also doesn't want to have children. but it shouldn't be a problem if i actually do find my kindred spirit :D .

LOL, I'm the same way. Thankfully, my boyfriend feels the same way as I do!

My ideal wedding would be small... but with the size of my extended family, which will soon include a step-family as well, I don't see that happening. I also would only want a civil service... but apparently my boyfriend can't do that to his Mum... so that's not happening either. Oh well, at least my grandma will be happy that I'm married in the eyes of the church. :rolleyes: So I honestly have no idea how it will work out... I've even given thought to having two different ceremonies... a more traditional one to appease family members, and a much much smaller one, a more meaningful one, for friends.

Who knows?! None of this is happening for at least a few years anyway... I'm not losing any sleep over it yet!

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its nice to fantasize but i dont really think about it too much.... being that everything is too unknown, although it is a fantasy, its too damn stressful.... ill think about the technicalities when the time comes ;)

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