NJ Shore Traffic Solution !!! A Must Read

[upperlevelent]

NJ Shore Traffic Solution (Just Funny As Hell, No Offence)

Tired of waiting endlessly in Parkway traffic on your way down the shore? If you're like most of us, there's a good chance you've spent countless hours staring at the back of the same bumper, riding your brake and have possibly developed a minor case of whiplash from the stop-and-go that one encounters while attempting to arrive at the New Jersey Shore????

Travelers fear no more!

The solution: -- THE GUIDO EXPRESS LANE --

The proposed Guido Express Lane, or G.E.L., is structured

identically to the H.O.V. lanes introduced in the late 90's across much of NJ, NY and PA. The following requirements for access to the G.E.L. will apply to all vehicle occupants:

- -Cut-off shirts or wife beaters must be worn at all times. If the

vehicle is a convertible, no shirts are allowed at all.

- -Capri pants must be worn. Addidas pants are acceptable only with matching jackets and a Kangol hat.

- -All vehicle occupants must have identical haircuts - spiked all

around (including the back) or must have shaved heads. All sideburns must be shaved to a point.

- -All body hair must be completely shaven.

- - All vehicles in the G.E.L. must be considered "exotic" or "luxury

cars," but must be paid for by the driver's parents.

- -Vehicle must contain at least 13 pounds of fake silver bracelets

and necklaces. Necklaces may only be loose enough to allow minimal breathing.

- -Should any member(s) of the vehicle fail to comply with any one of the aforementioned requirements, said member(s)

will receive a two-month suspension from Surf Club and Tempts.

- -

In addition to the obvious ecological benefits, the proposed G.E.L. would also provide the following free of charge:

- - Upon entering the G.E.L., the vehicle's radio would automatically be tuned to a satellite feed of "shiny disco

balls" or "darkbeat" (you get a choice of either one).

- -The center divider would be lined with Sunburst Ultra Sun 4000

series tanning lamps which would run 24 hours a day to

ensure a perfect pre-beach/club complexion.

To become a G.E.L. member, you must be Italian (or try really hard to look Italian) and test positive for steroids.

So the next time you're at a dead stop at exit 117 for two hours, take a note, call your congressman and tell him "yes" to the G.E.L.

[ou812]

#9,867,245 by my count...................

[pipdaddy]

i vote the next person to post this anywhere on any board is immediately executed

[upperlevelent]

I VOTE NAY.....NEXT!!!

[nickymidnite]

Originally posted by pipdaddy

i vote the next person to post this anywhere on any board is immediately executed

i 2nd that lol

[xliquidsilverx]

Originally posted by pipdaddy

i vote the next person to post this anywhere on any board is immediately executed

AMEN!!!!

enough already

[nickymidnite]

it was only funny the first 10 times ive seen it lol