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FlipsSOE

do you have a fear of never falling and love and....

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getting married?? i know so much is made of marriage, but have u ever thought about, what if u never find the right person, and your condemned to live all your years on earth, alone and miserable?? i have, and those thoughts suck. but for some reason, they seem so real in my thoughts and dreams. i hope they don't end up coming true. anyone else suffer from tihs odd sort of anxiety??

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Yea dude I hear you on that. but I think I took it a step futher than you and thats dying totally alone. I have work down the streets and wondered who if anyone would be there. BUT I think everyone has thought this and because of this univeral fear people get married, have kids and die together. In some repects I think getting married has more to due with getting old than having kids.Anyone can have a kid on their own, how that child turns out is open (due to other forces) but having 2 parents is not nessary. So I think a large part of getting married is a way to deal with getting old and dying.

So yes I have that fear and other one being homeless.

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Originally posted by naughtybabe

My only fear is getting hurt again... :(

What do you mean 'fear of gettin hurt ?' ... like death and taxes..its inevitable. Best u can do is hope your linear signs add up. Cant ask for more than that. Like cintron says, .. its more of a russian roulette thing. "Luck of the draw" So long as u dont play dirty like him and load the damn gun with a full chamber...:laugh:

Sowwy...i couldnt help it...:D

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Originally posted by naughtybabe

:( All this shit together makes one lethal fear let me tell you

i swear to you, we truly are lunachicks. I don't even use that term to joke.

Thing is....after I started seeing my *other* after a short "break"....I thought everything was going to go back to normal.....

lol....what's normal? I was a very very scary sight....even friends said they would never date me. But....I(we) got our shit together...and now I feel safe.

I suppose there is hope....just give it time. ;)

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Originally posted by marcid21

i swear to you, we truly are lunachicks. I don't even use that term to joke.

Thing is....after I started seeing my *other* after a short "break"....I thought everything was going to go back to normal.....

lol....what's normal? I was a very very scary sight....even friends said they would never date me. But....I(we) got our shit together...and now I feel safe.

I suppose there is hope....just give it time. ;)

Cancer girls = Lunachicks

Therefor you know where Im coming from... ;)

Time is all I have...... I know eventually I will

get back on my feet.. just gotta wait :)

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Originally posted by FlipsSOE

getting married?? i know so much is made of marriage, but have u ever thought about, what if u never find the right person, and your condemned to live all your years on earth, alone and miserable?? i have, and those thoughts suck. but for some reason, they seem so real in my thoughts and dreams. i hope they don't end up coming true. anyone else suffer from tihs odd sort of anxiety??

alone and *miserable*??

dude, if you rely on other people for your happyness, you´ll never be really happy.

cause even when you have someone that makes you happy you´ll be too damn insecure about them leaving your life again that you´ll overcompensate and very likely that will fuck it up.

a partner should be a positive ADDITION TO your life. that makes your life MORE fun. you make it sound like that without a girl on your side, your life would be NO FUN at all. even though i don´t know you, i bet you any money in the world that that isn´t true. focus on the positive parts of your life :)!

you ask yourself "why am i so miserable, why are all these things lacking in my life, why does this always happen to me, etc". stop asking yourself these negative WHY questions. they get you NOWHERE but depression and confusion.

ask yourself: "WHAT is great in my life right now?" "WHAT am i enjoying in my life right now, etc.". ask yourself positive HOW questions "HOW can i make my life more enjoyable, etc." and stop being so negative :)

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Originally posted by fearlesss

...So yes I have that fear and other one being homeless.

those have always been my two worst fears. people always dole out the "love will come in its own time" crap; i don't know if that's true or not, but my belief in it won't affect it either way, so it doesn't matter. all i can do is wait and see; nothing i can do about it.

people can talk all they want about not needing other people, total independence, etc., but that's a crock. we all need each other, and there's nothing wrong with that. that's what we call friendship and love. people marry for many reasons, but one is because the 2 involved don't want to be separated from each other, ever. having a ceremony and signing a contract make it formal and make it feel safe.

we write about love and commitment on the sex forum because it's all linked; one big search for the closest closeness possible - though it's impossible to tell when that's been attained or even if there is a limit to it.

...i'll stop here...

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Yes, I've had that thought many times, and because of this fear I've spent way too much time in shitty relationships. My biggest fear was definitely that of dying alone, and of never having met the "one" and discovering true love.

You know what? It's not worth worrying about, because it's not something you have much control over. It's the type of thing- one day you don't have it and then the next thing you know you may as well just have been run over by a Mac truck. I don't know how to talk about it because it sounds like one big cliche, but the funny thing is- the stupid little cliches are all true!!!

I could write books on the misery I've lived through in relationships, but you know what, I finally found all that I never even knew I could look for, and none of that even matters anymore. All you can do is go out there and live life as best you see fit. Love isn't something you hunt down, it has it's own way of finding you. Just make sure you're ready when it does.

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Originally posted by FlipsSOE

getting married?? i know so much is made of marriage, but have u ever thought about, what if u never find the right person, and your condemned to live all your years on earth, alone and miserable?? i have, and those thoughts suck. but for some reason, they seem so real in my thoughts and dreams. i hope they don't end up coming true. anyone else suffer from tihs odd sort of anxiety??

When my friends & I talk about marriage & what we want our weddings to be like etc. I usually stay out of the convo.....Sometimes I don't see myself getting married b/c 1- I just won't find the right person & 2 - b/c I don't think I completely want to.....

My friend & I joke about how when we are 40 we will still be going out to bars & stuff trying to pick up men :laugh:..At times it doesn't seem like a bad idea...but when it coes down to it...I think we all want to eventually groe old w/ someone :(

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i don't think anyone will or can ever have a guarantee that the person they are marrying will be exactly like they want them to be, or the relationship itself. people change and grow throughout time, one key thing is to remember that and not bitch that you didn't see that in that person before you got together. money, education, children, careers, life goals, all that stuff needs to be discussed BEFORE getting together forever. when you become a family, you're not just exposing yourself and your partner. your families are involved now, too. your future children (if you have any) will be exposed. then your decisions about the future and whatever you decide to do will affect them as well, indirectly or directly.

love is weird. i doubt anyone can truly define it. as long as communication, trust, respect, and mutual affection are in the relationship, it has at least a working chance.

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