magellanmax Posted July 23 Report Share Posted July 23 Guys, we know the hardest thing to do is to make a girl part with her panties, shoes or benjamins.This thread is to teach ya asses on how to get some moolah off your girl and still come out smelling like roses ..pay attention You got a vegas trip coming up and short on cash... here's how to get PAID !!...from your sweetie no less ...1: When she stops by on a friday nite all decked out on her fav outfit..wait till she goes to the bathroom to freshen up... Run fast to your car and pull out the fuse that runs the starter, and run right back to the house before she re-emerges from the 'loo' (bathroom). When she's ready, walk her out and get her in the car and try the ignition... Voila !! the car wont start. Open the hood and pretend to look it over and slam it back closed hard and cuss out loud !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magellanmax Posted July 23 Author Report Share Posted July 23 Tell her the starter is fried and you are gonna need to spend some serious $$$ to get it back running. Look her dead in her eyeballs with a sappy and hurt look and ask her meekly..."Damn, where am I gonna get $900 ?Hell, she'll cancel the outting and open her checkbook ! Ka-ching !!2: That sissy looking watch she got you for x-mas that she always wants you to wear everytime you go out...take it to the pawn shop and convert it to instant Cash $$$$ !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daemoncel Posted July 23 Report Share Posted July 23 what if she knows you have AAA? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magellanmax Posted July 23 Author Report Share Posted July 23 Originally posted by daemoncel what if she knows you have AAA? Not unless we are talking about browneydtrouble...u got no problem.... hang in there ..I got more tricks.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guest00901 Posted July 23 Report Share Posted July 23 Any chick that falls for that first one is an ignorant foolI would be like...I dunno u better get another job man loland be on my merry way Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magellanmax Posted July 23 Author Report Share Posted July 23 3: Remember when you got all sappy n shit and you bought her that diamond rock ?...Well, here is how to redeem yourself and get paid ! When she is the kitchen or whatever, just grab that rock and head bact to your fav jewelers and sell off the diamond and replace it with a cubic zarconia replica...trust me, when you bought it,..she had it appraised by the fourth date..no worries there, she wont know it after you surprise her when you tell her that you found her fav 'ring'Ka-ching !! $$$ galore..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i3itch Posted July 23 Report Share Posted July 23 I think if my guys car didnt start and he asked where he would get $900 I'd say "sorry honey" and that would be the end of it. I got my own expenses to worry about Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guest00901 Posted July 23 Report Share Posted July 23 Originally posted by magellanmax 3: Remember when you got all sappy n shit and you bught her that diamond rock ?...Well, here is how to redeem yourself and get paid ! When she is the kitchen or whatever, just grab that rock and head bact to your fav jewelers and sell off the diamond and replace it with a cubic zarconia replica...trust me, when you bought it,..she had it appraised by the fourth date..no worries there, she ownt know it after you surprise her when you tell her that you found her fav 'ring'Ka-ching !! $$$ galore..... NOTE TO SELF: Never Take Ring Off FingerOr lock it up REAL GOOD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i3itch Posted July 23 Report Share Posted July 23 HaH.. More like NOTE TO SELF: Get your shit appraised every other week Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magellanmax Posted July 23 Author Report Share Posted July 23 4: Golden rule...ALWAYS kiss up to her mom, they are their best friend and confidant.... make her feel all good and shit... and 2 days later, hit her up for cash !! She will give you more than you ask for...and if all goes well, dont be surprised to find your sorry ass included in your girlfriends family WILL.. You cant top that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guest00901 Posted July 23 Report Share Posted July 23 Originally posted by magellanmax 4: Golden rule...ALWAYS kiss up to her mom, they are their best friend and confidant.... make her feel all good and shit... and 2 days later, hit her up for cash !! She will give you more than you ask for...and if all goes well, dont be surprised to find your sorry ass included in your girlfriends family WILL.. You cant top that My mom would laugh in his face if he asked her for money....shit she dont even give me money Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magellanmax Posted July 23 Author Report Share Posted July 23 She wants phat ass rims on her ride...Ka-ching ! $$ Show her some phat ass BBS catalog and let her pick her fav shit. P.S !! Its important to show her the ticket price, she'll nag and worry for a few, but then shell out the moolah.Head on home and log onto "American Racing" website and pick out a replica at bottom dollar !!She wont know.....pocket half the cash.... Now we are cooking boyz !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magellanmax Posted July 23 Author Report Share Posted July 23 You know her fav dish ? Holla...you are set buddy. Get a fuck ass cook from any roadside motel and set up a "surprise"When you show her the surprise, ...tell her the chef is a bonafide world class cook and you were short on cash, but your heart was set to please her and tell her the tab runs about $600 and ask her to 'lend' your a couple hundred to cover but that you will pay her as soon as possible (bullshit..but she doesnt know) Damn, you'll be getting ass and kisses like crazy....U R pot is filling.... I know right now you are feeling guilty..fuck that... r u going to vegas to look at buildings or to be a high roller??? Keep focused,..u r almost home baby boy..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magellanmax Posted July 23 Author Report Share Posted July 23 You are in vegas on a "boys trip". (whatever the fuck that is) Whatever happens, your ass should be nowhere near a slot machine...(fuckin wuss) Hit the High Rollers table sipping Moet n shit !!Let the lonely ass ladies patrolling the hallways know you aint a cheap village boy from bum fuck Queens NY !! Let the greenback show your shit... playa !!Place serious bets...and the friggin Moet is on the muthafuckin house !!! Now you are cooking....Bid your time, u dont wanna blow your loot too quick before those three Kansas blondes notice your precence.......Tip like u own the muthafucken strip... and dont whine if the gals bring you a flat drink...just pretend to knock it over, and the floor boss will order a fresh one for you.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magellanmax Posted July 23 Author Report Share Posted July 23 Damn,...you just got cleaned out Dont sweat it....your baby is back home toiling and making more moolah..its all goood !!Just get one of your boys to place a long distance collect call to your hunnie and tell her that your ass just got arrested for lewdness and you need bail and fine money to get out. Remember to stress the point that you dont wanna use your cash for fear of your family getting to find out....like an angel she is, she'll head straight for the ATM at 1:00 AM and Western Union to bail her baby out Point of note, your boy placing the call HAS to know, placing the call is half the battle, he's gotta sell the bulllshit story..delivery is key ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magellanmax Posted July 23 Author Report Share Posted July 23 Now you are back at the high rollers table... U aint no fool.... get a sucka to place his cash along with yours for 'good luck'. Shit, its a win win situation. Worst case scenario...u break even You just had strippers ordered for your room and they are soaking wet for you..(bullshit... they want u r $) Play along and get wasted, married, laid and paid !! (not necessarily in that order Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magellanmax Posted July 23 Author Report Share Posted July 23 Its time to go home, but you felt the need to visit Tijuana for good ol frat memories sake... you got it made dude... trade in those airline tickets for a train ticket, and you got mad extra cash to blow. p.s If you see that sorry ass anna the whore,..tell her I want my wallet. sexxy ass bitch Leaving Tijuana can be tricky.... especially if you aint got no loot and the 'federales' are hot on u r trail. Stick with the back roads and use 'local' transportation (mules n shit) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magellanmax Posted July 23 Author Report Share Posted July 23 On your harzardous trek thru the treacherous Cali and Arizona desert, if the need for a brewski arises, stick with the local cheap ass brew, this is not the time to get crazy... you wanna save some phone money to call your honey to 'rescue' you...When you make back to vegas, place a call to your baby and confess to your 'stupid choices in life' (bullshit..but she doesnt know)cry your heart out like a lil bitch..she'll be heartbroken and ask her boss for an advance pay... ans she'll Western Union it right to your jolly ass You feelin me muthafuckas ?..When you get that money for your flight back home, ask her to pay for your plane ticket since 'u dont know what other shit is gonna befall u'. Ka-Ching !! Upgrade your seats to first class and tell the teller to "charge it"Go crazy.!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magellanmax Posted July 23 Author Report Share Posted July 23 When your plane is about to land... call her ass collect on that plane phone...(u r a high roller muthafucka-get to dialling...its not like u paying for it..sheeet )Tell your boys to use the rear coach exit when your baby picks you up at the airport. Put a somber and broken face for better effect . When u see her, put some vicks in u r eyes and walk towards her 'crying'. DONT say a fucken word playa.... just her hug her tight and start 'crying uncontrollably put the best show.... its your ticket outta misery asshole. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magellanmax Posted July 23 Author Report Share Posted July 23 Final play... the next weekend, if she asks your ass to stay in and AWAY from the boys and spend somequality time with her,..your ass better be all Martha Stewart Fuck it, if she asks you to answer 50 questions on love from 'Elle' magazine...look interested jerk, you owe her !She wants to go shoe shopping (on her depleted checking and credit accounts...u better sit there when she tries a hundred shoes...and for chrissakes...look interested.When back at the crib watching a movie... try and cry when watching some sappy shit. She'll brag to her friends like shit !P.S If you end up gigling and batting your eyes like a lil bitch... thats a def. nono:nono: I dont care how remorsefull you feel and say to u r self that "she's my baby' Fuck you,..you might as well go to her closet, grab one of her sundresses and pair of panties to complete the picture. I hope u r balls are in there somewhere somehow:D I know all this shit may sound callous and insensitive guys, but you know what...you'll know she loves your ass for sure cant beat the love of a woman...so..its all good.Vegas baby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magellanmax Posted July 23 Author Report Share Posted July 23 NEXT WEEK : How to.... turn the two goody shoes girl next door into a hush hush booty call !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b-side Posted July 23 Report Share Posted July 23 Man this shit is mad funny but...If I got a girl that stooopid... I wouldn't want her! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magellanmax Posted July 23 Author Report Share Posted July 23 Originally posted by b-side Man this shit is mad funny but...If I got a girl that stooopid... I wouldn't want her! Not really buddy...when a girl loves your ass... its like a dream cum tru.. it just happens... dont be so pessimistic. They say love has no boundaries.. I think its a good feeling to know somebody gives a shit whateva u do.Then again, love is an expendable commodity Play on playa:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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