Mens Rules....hahaha

[guest00901]

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules

from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all

numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it

down. You can handle it. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us

complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one, subtle hints do not

work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what

we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem . See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,

all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to

act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways

makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done.

Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during

commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,

for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no

idea what mauve is!

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like

nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the

hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you

don't want to hear.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to

discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

(OR SUPERBIKE RACING)

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch

tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

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[vixenfoxxy]

I've seen this a bunch of times before but the last one i've never seen before - fuckin cracked me up!

"I am in shape... ROUND is a shape" haaaaahahaha

[jjkitten]

i really liked #1 .. that one was hysterical

hehe

really this was my fav: If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

Sidenote to all guys out there: Please put the toilet seat down!

theres no risk of you falling in when we leave the toilet seat down! and always remember to flush