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tastey

holy shit is this funny

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OMMMMMMMMG :laugh: :laugh:

Dear Diary:

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of

men & women differ so much. And I never have figured

out the whole Venus and Mars thing. And, I never

figured out why men think with their head and women

think with their heart. And I never yet have figured

out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a

state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into

bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she

eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want

you to hold me." I said "WHAT??????"

So she says the words that I and every husband on the

planet dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune

with her emotional needs as a Woman. I'm thinking,

"What was her first clue?" I finally realized that

nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to

sleep.

The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed

department store....

I walked around with her while she tried on three

different very expensive outfits. She could not decide

which one to take so I told her to take all three of

them.

She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth

$200 a pair to which I say OK.

And then we go to the jewellery dept. where she gets a

pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you........ she was so excited. She must

have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck,

but I don't think she cared.

I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis

bracelet because she does not even play tennis. I

think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it

was OK.

She was almost sexually excited from all of this and

you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm

ready to go to the cash register."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No,

honey, I don't feel like buying all this stuff now."

You should have seen her face .....it went completely

blank.

I then said, "Really, honey! I just want you to HOLD

this stuff for a while." And just when she had this

look like she was going to kill me I added, "You must

not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."

I figure I won't be having sex again until sometime

after the spring of 2008

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Originally posted by tastey

OMMMMMMMMG :laugh: :laugh:

Dear Diary:

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of

men & women differ so much. And I never have figured

out the whole Venus and Mars thing. And, I never

figured out why men think with their head and women

think with their heart. And I never yet have figured

out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a

state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into

bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she

eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want

you to hold me." I said "WHAT??????"

So she says the words that I and every husband on the

planet dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune

with her emotional needs as a Woman. I'm thinking,

"What was her first clue?" I finally realized that

nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to

sleep.

The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed

department store....

I walked around with her while she tried on three

different very expensive outfits. She could not decide

which one to take so I told her to take all three of

them.

She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth

$200 a pair to which I say OK.

And then we go to the jewellery dept. where she gets a

pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you........ she was so excited. She must

have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck,

but I don't think she cared.

I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis

bracelet because she does not even play tennis. I

think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it

was OK.

She was almost sexually excited from all of this and

you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm

ready to go to the cash register."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No,

honey, I don't feel like buying all this stuff now."

You should have seen her face .....it went completely

blank.

I then said, "Really, honey! I just want you to HOLD

this stuff for a while." And just when she had this

look like she was going to kill me I added, "You must

not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."

I figure I won't be having sex again until sometime

after the spring of 2008

:)

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Originally posted by tastey

OMMMMMMMMG :laugh: :laugh:

Dear Diary:

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of

men & women differ so much. And I never have figured

out the whole Venus and Mars thing. And, I never

figured out why men think with their head and women

think with their heart. And I never yet have figured

out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a

state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do."

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into

bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she

eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want

you to hold me." I said "WHAT??????"

So she says the words that I and every husband on the

planet dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune

with her emotional needs as a Woman. I'm thinking,

"What was her first clue?" I finally realized that

nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to

sleep.

The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed

department store....

I walked around with her while she tried on three

different very expensive outfits. She could not decide

which one to take so I told her to take all three of

them.

She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth

$200 a pair to which I say OK.

And then we go to the jewellery dept. where she gets a

pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you........ she was so excited. She must

have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck,

but I don't think she cared.

I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis

bracelet because she does not even play tennis. I

think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it

was OK.

She was almost sexually excited from all of this and

you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm

ready to go to the cash register."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No,

honey, I don't feel like buying all this stuff now."

You should have seen her face .....it went completely

blank.

I then said, "Really, honey! I just want you to HOLD

this stuff for a while." And just when she had this

look like she was going to kill me I added, "You must

not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."

I figure I won't be having sex again until sometime

after the spring of 2008

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

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Originally posted by hispm

all women should be like you:D

Seriously though, I never understood that "I have a headache" line.

Maybe it's just that I'm so sexually attracted to my husband. :heart:

But it's been more than 6 years, and we're still going strong. :)

Children cause a lot of stress, and sex is a great stress reliever.

So bring it on!

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Originally posted by themrs

Seriously though, I never understood that "I have a headache" line.

Maybe it's just that I'm so sexually attracted to my husband. :heart:

But it's been more than 6 years, and we're still going strong. :)

Children cause a lot of stress, and sex is a great stress reliever.

So bring it on!

fliptonniaa....I have said it before...

you are the man.

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