tastey Posted September 15 Report Share Posted September 15 OMMMMMMMMG :laugh: Dear Diary: I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. And, I never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart. And I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do." One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??????" So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realized that nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to sleep. The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store.... I walked around with her while she tried on three different very expensive outfits. She could not decide which one to take so I told her to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200 a pair to which I say OK. And then we go to the jewellery dept. where she gets a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you........ she was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she does not even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was OK. She was almost sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm ready to go to the cash register." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey, I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her face .....it went completely blank. I then said, "Really, honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man." I figure I won't be having sex again until sometime after the spring of 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonyquest Posted September 15 Report Share Posted September 15 Originally posted by tastey OMMMMMMMMG :laugh: Dear Diary: I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. And, I never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart. And I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do." One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??????" So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realized that nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to sleep. The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store.... I walked around with her while she tried on three different very expensive outfits. She could not decide which one to take so I told her to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200 a pair to which I say OK. And then we go to the jewellery dept. where she gets a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you........ she was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she does not even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was OK. She was almost sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm ready to go to the cash register." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey, I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her face .....it went completely blank. I then said, "Really, honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man." I figure I won't be having sex again until sometime after the spring of 2008 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kontrol Posted September 15 Report Share Posted September 15 nice jewish anecdote Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dgmodel Posted September 15 Report Share Posted September 15 Originally posted by tastey OMMMMMMMMG :laugh: Dear Diary: I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. And, I never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart. And I never yet have figured out how the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do." One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT??????" So she says the words that I and every husband on the planet dreads. She explains that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I finally realized that nothing was going to happen that night, so I went to sleep. The very next day, we went shopping at a big, unnamed department store.... I walked around with her while she tried on three different very expensive outfits. She could not decide which one to take so I told her to take all three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching shoes worth $200 a pair to which I say OK. And then we go to the jewellery dept. where she gets a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you........ she was so excited. She must have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck, but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she does not even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I told her that it was OK. She was almost sexually excited from all of this and you should have seen her face when she said, "I'm ready to go to the cash register." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No, honey, I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." You should have seen her face .....it went completely blank. I then said, "Really, honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a Man." I figure I won't be having sex again until sometime after the spring of 2008 :laugh: :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fineones Posted September 15 Report Share Posted September 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexxyh Posted September 15 Report Share Posted September 15 :rofl: :laugh: made my day!!! first good post from tastey:tongue: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elementx Posted September 15 Report Share Posted September 15 :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMrs Posted September 15 Report Share Posted September 15 This was great!Get to fuckin woman! Do your job as a wife! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fkornre Posted September 15 Report Share Posted September 15 too long to read... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hispm Posted September 16 Report Share Posted September 16 Originally posted by themrs This was great!Get to fuckin woman! Do your job as a wife! all women should be like you:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMrs Posted September 16 Report Share Posted September 16 Originally posted by hispm all women should be like you:D Seriously though, I never understood that "I have a headache" line.Maybe it's just that I'm so sexually attracted to my husband. But it's been more than 6 years, and we're still going strong. Children cause a lot of stress, and sex is a great stress reliever.So bring it on! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hispm Posted September 16 Report Share Posted September 16 Originally posted by themrs Seriously though, I never understood that "I have a headache" line.Maybe it's just that I'm so sexually attracted to my husband. But it's been more than 6 years, and we're still going strong. Children cause a lot of stress, and sex is a great stress reliever.So bring it on! fliptonniaa....I have said it before...you are the man. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
firedup Posted September 18 Report Share Posted September 18 Originally posted by hispm fliptonniaa....I have said it before...you are the man. That was awesome!!!!! :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ou812 Posted September 18 Report Share Posted September 18 Originally posted by hispm fliptonniaa....I have said it before...you are the man. WARNING, WARNING!!! ass-kissing threshhold of this thread has been breached!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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