Are You Gay?......funny Shit!!!!

[prettyricky]

Gay Test

1. If you are over thirty and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.

It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent

the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and the Oprah diet.

2. If you have more than one cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is

like a dog, but gay - it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself,

has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And

just think about how you call a dog..."Killer, come here! I said get your ass

over here!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to

daddy, snookums!"

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, or any such nonsense, rest

assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab or

lobster claws, raw oysters or pickled pigs feet. Anything else and you are in

training to suck El Dicko and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a

parking lot or shower, you're in a deep homosexual relationship. The world is a

real man's bathroom, he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink decaf coffee with skim milk, you like a high hard one in

the poop chute. Coffee is to be had strong, black, and full aroma. A

straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Cafe Latte Mocachino with

Skim" and he will never, ever know what artificial sweetener tastes like. If

you've had Nutrasweet in your mouth, you've had a dick there too.

6. If you know more than six names of colors or four different types of

foreign dessert, you might as well be handing out free passes to your

ass. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that

crap as well as all the names of all the players in the Major Leagues, NFL,

NBA, college ball, PGA, and NASCAR. If you can pick out chartreuse or you

know what a "fressier" is, you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of

textile other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it......you're

hungry for a meat popsicle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at

a slow-ass driver or to cut the punk off. The rest of the time he needs

that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, hold his beer, or

play with the bitch in the passenger seat.

8. If you enjoy romantic comedies or French films, mon-frere, vous le

Gay, oui? The only time it is acceptable to watch one of those is with a

woman who knows how to reward her man. Watching any of the above films by

yourself or with another man is likely to result in SHC (spontaneous homosexual combustion),

which is what happens to fags when they flame out too quickly.