derf~! derf~!

[dgmodel]

Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes. The first man said, "My Benny loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky." The second man said, "My Carl was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake." The third man said, "My Jim was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time

[phatman]

One evening Snow White decided she was sleepy and announced to the seven dwarfs that she was going to bed. After the usual lengthy round of "Good Nights" she went upstairs.

Immediately all seven dwarfs rushed outside and began standing on each others shoulders beneath Snow White's bedroom window. Tonight was Grumpy's turn to be on the top and as he was the only one who could see in the window it was his duty to inform the other dwarfs what she was doing.

After a minute or two he hollered down, "She's taking off her blouse!" and this was echoed down the stack "Taking off her blouse," "She's taking off her blouse," "Blouse is coming off," "Taking off her blouse," etc.

Next Grumpy yelled, "She's taking off her skirt," which was followed by the echoes "Taking off her skirt," "She's taking off her skirt," "Skirt's coming off," "Taking off her skirt," etc.

Of course the next line from Grumpy was, "She's taking off her bra!" and the echo chorus went down the line: "She's taking off her bra!" "She's taking off her bra!" "She's taking off her bra!" etc.

Then Grumpy said, "She's taking off her panties!" which again cascaded down the dwarf tower: "She's taking off her panties!" "She's taking off her panties!" "She's taking off her panties!" "She's taking off her panties!" etc.

Finally Grumpy looked around and from his vantage height saw someone coming through the woods so he yelled, "Someone's coming!"

And from the next dwarf to the bottom dwarf was heard, "Me too." "Me too." "Me too." "Me too." "Me too." "Me too."

[nomembername]

A hippie gets onto a bus and proceeds to sit next to a Nun in the front seat. The Hippie was stoned out of his mind and horny, so he looks over and asks the Nun if she would have sex with him.

The Nun was surprised by the question but politely declines and quickly gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts on it's way the bus driver says to the hippie, "if you want I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."

The hippie of course says that he'd love to know so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord.

"If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," said the bus driver guy "you could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."

Well the Hippie decides to try this out so that Tuesday he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. And right on schedule the nun shows up.

When she's in the middle of praying the hippie walks out from hiding, dressed in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first."

The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity.

The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about to go to work on the nun.

After the Hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie!!"

The nun replied by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!!"

[tommyarmani]

what did one lesbian say to the other one?

Your face or mine

[tommyarmani]

why did the chicken cross the road?

TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

What kind of training have you been doing?

ARMY TRAINING SIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

RAZZLE DAZZLE

:laugh:

THANKs.

:confused: