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wah wah wah...


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a lady goes into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for arsnic to kill her husband because hes cheating... the pharmacist says i cannot give you that to kill your husband even if he cheating... she digs into her pocket and pulls out a photo of her husband with the pharmacists wife... the pharmarcist replies, "oh i didnt know you had a prescription..." wah wah wah...

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Don't Miss the Amazing Goldstein oy vey! Instead of Ole!

A traveling salesman visits a small town in the Midwest and sees a circus banner reading, "Don't Miss the Amazing Goldstein!"

Curious, he buys a ticket. The tent goes dark. Suddenly, trumpets blare and all eyes turn to the center ring. There, spot lit in the center ring is a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it is an old Jewish man.

Suddenly the old man unzips his pants, whips out a huge shlong, and smashes all three walnuts with three mighty swings! The crowd erupts in applause as the elderly Goldstein is carried off on the shoulders of the clowns.

Ten years later the salesman visits the same little town and he sees a Faded sign for the same circus and the same "Don't Miss the Amazing Goldstein." He can't believe the old guy is still alive much less still doing his act! So he buys a ticket.

Again, the center ring is illuminated. This time, instead of walnuts, Three coconuts are on the table. Goldstein stands before them, then suddenly unzips his fly and smashes the coconuts with three swings of his amazing shlong. The crowd goes wild!

Flabbergasted, the salesman requests a meeting with him after the show.

"You're incredible," he tells Goldstein. "But I have to know something. You're older now. Why switch from walnuts to coconuts?"

"Vell," says Goldstein, "My eyes aren't what they used to be!"

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arsenic (ar·se·nic) (ahr¢s[schwa]-nik) [L. arsenicum, arsenium, or arsenum; from Gr. ars[emacr]n strong] a nonmetallic element, occurring as a brittle, lustrous, grayish solid, with a garlicky odor. Symbol, As; atomic number, 33; atomic weight, 74.922; specific gravity, 5.73; it is toxic by inhalation and ingestion and is carcinogenic. Although arsenic and its compounds have been widely employed in medicine, it is now rarely used and is important only in the treatment of certain tropical parasitic diseases. See also arsenic poisoning, under poisoning

CP dun learned my ass.

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