Jump to content
Clubplanet Nightlife Community
Sign in to follow this  
bigpoppanils

Bill Maher on Bush and Kerry (funny)

Recommended Posts

"You can't be a Washington outsider if you're already president. Now, hearing President Bush these days constantly complain about "the politicians," and John Kerry being part of a "Washington mindset," and saying things like, "I got news for the Washington crowd," it's like hearing Courtney Love bitch about the junkies.

Excuse me, but "Washington insider" is, by definition, a function of one's proximity to the President. That's you, Mister Bush! When you're given check-writing privileges by the Federal Reserve, you just might be a "Washington insider."

Put it this way. You're not "Mister Smith Goes to Washington." You're the "Washington" part. We need a "Mister Smith" to fuck with you!

You're not on a mission you reluctantly accepted, like the old farts in "Space Cowboys." You campaigned for it. So it's a little late to be selling yourself as some fish-out-of-water cowboy visiting the big city on assignment. You're not "McCloud."

For 15 of the last 22 years, you've had a key to the White House. The last thing that happened in Washington without the Bushes getting a piece was Marion Berry's crack habit.

"The Exorcist" happened in Georgetown, but Satan had to run it by Jim Baker first.

So knock off the "regular guy" act. And by the way, that also goes for John Forbes Kerry, the "other white meat." Two Skull-and-Bones preppies these guys are, from Nantucket and Kennebunkport, who use the word, "summer" as a verb.

Please, John Kerry, stop rolling up your sleeves like you're about to man a register at Costco. You're a Boston Brahmin who married not one, but two eccentric heiresses. You're not Joe Six-Pack; you're Claus von Bulow. I mean, please, I think your current wife is great. But, hello, she inherited the Heinz fortune! She's the ketchup lady! Which explains why sometimes he's got to smack her on the bottom to get her to come.

We don't want to get fined.

In conclusion, look, fellows, we've got almost eight months to the election. That's a long time to hold in your gut, to pretend you're something not. So let's just be real and admit that finally, and unfortunately, true class warfare has come to America: Yale Class of '66 versus Yale Class of '68."

http://www.hbo.com/billmaher/new_rules/index.html

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love Maher's show...but it really would be much better if he didn't stack the deck as much as he did....and the catcalls from the crowd is retarded--they clap and cheer for anything anti-Bush, relevant or not..

His new rules are on point!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by igloo

I love Maher's show...but it really would be much better if he didn't stack the deck as much as he did....and the catcalls from the crowd is retarded--they clap and cheer for anything anti-Bush, relevant or not..

His new rules are on point!

He used to make my blood boil but as of late he's been amusing lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by mr mahs

He used to make my blood boil but as of late he's been amusing lol

Don't get me wrong, I would like to bounce a brick off his head for most of his views, but at least he is funny about it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this  

×