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the mind of a single guy


dirtyepic18

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Oh man, it's morning.

Damn.

Oh boy.

Pitching a tent.

clip_tent.gif

That was a solid Shakira dream last night.

Better take care of that.

Oops roommate is here.

Come on.

Leave.

Okay here goes.

(5 to 7 minutes later)

Ok, starting my day.

Gotta get clean.

This shirt should get me laid by day's end.

Shampoo is better.

HAHA Damn Billy Madison is funny.

Is my thing really that small?

No. It's not.

It's the water.

But I thought that was cold water.

No. Gotta be hot.

Ok, time to dry off.

This shirt won't get me laid.

Ahh fuck it, I wasn't going to get laid anyway.

Shaving is cool.

leg_shave2.jpg

Why do girls complain about shaving their legs?

I damn near rip my jugular every morning.

Boobs.

Jugular is a funny word.

So is mustard.

I guess a lot of words are funny if you think about it.

Mustard.

I'm hungry.

Need sandwich.

Shit.

Class in 20 minutes.

Lots of time.

Boobs.

Oh yeah, hot girls in class.

Get there early, see boobs.

Boobs?

Ok.

Sandwich later.

God it's cold.

Cold enough for hard nipples.

Boobs.

The elevator is the most impersonal place in the world. No two random people who meet on an elevator will ever like each other.

This is the gayest looking dude I've ever seen.

He probably still gets laid more though.

Yeah.

To guys.

HAHA, good one, brain.

Oh, figures, I get off the elevator, hot girl gets on.

elevator2.gif

I need a beer.

Beer later.

This class is so boring.

I bet this professor gets laid more than I do.

Yeah.

To guys.

That's getting old, brain.

Whoa, this kid next to me is falling asleep.

He's bobbing his head.

Oh, he's out.

Violent shake is coming 3 2 1.

HAHA.

This may very well be the most boring moment of my life.

How can they subject us to this.

Didn't Nazism die out?

Nazis were dicks.

Yeah.

That's a shame. I bet more people would still wear Adolf's moustache if he wasn't such a dick.

Like Robert E. Lee's?

robert_e_lee.jpg

Robert Lee was cool.

Was that the Civil War?

God, I'm so horny.

mary_e_lee.jpg

This is unhealthy.

This class has gotta be almost over.

Jesus.

45 minutes?!

Thank god that's over.

I need food.

Sandwich.

Eat.

Swallow.

Hey, why don't I check out the away messages of everyone on my buddy list?

awaymsg.gif

I gotta use the toilet.

#1 or #2?

Hmm, I'll surprise myself.

When it comes right down to it, Faith Hill and Shania Twain may very well be the ultimate 3-way.

Stop thinking about 3-ways. Concentrate on a 2-way.

Like lesbians? No, like you and a girl...but come to think of it...lesbians are hot.

Yeah they are.

I wonder if football players ever shit themselves at the line of scrimmage.

Like, if their cleat slips in mud do they shit themselves?

turf_poop.jpg

That would be hilarious.

I would fake an injury.

You think that's why there are so many injuries?

You've played football before, you've never been injured.

I've also never shit myself.

In football or in life?

In football, obviously. I've shat myself on a number of occasions.

Like, recently?

Oh, no, back in the day.

I could go for some "Ain't Nothin But a G Thang".

Word.

Ok.

Flush.

How did the Lucky Charms thing go again?

Uh, hearts, clovers, stars, rainbows.

No no.

I think it was that.

No, it had rainbows.

I said rainbows! Rainbows, hearts, stars, clovers, balloons.

I don't even think I can spell balloons.

God, you're stupid.

You're the brain, dumbass.

Shit, class in 10 minutes.

Screw it.

Play Madden.

Good idea.

Isn't there a paper due?

Tomorrow, damn, gotta start that.

Madden first.

I need a beer.

Can't.

Not on a school night.

Who made that rule?

I did.

Why?

I dunno.

Is one beer gonna kill you?

Is it peer pressure if I'm trying to coax myself?

Hey, Socrates, quit waxing philosophical and have a beer.

Phone is ringing.

Maybe someone wants to have sex with you.

No one who would call me would wanna have sex with me.

You never know.

phone_sex.jpg

Shit.

It's my mom.

Jesus, you were talking about sex with your mom.

Shut up.

Mom wants to know why I'm not in class.

Tell her you're sick.

Umm, stomachache.

What is this? First grade?

I wonder if my parents still have sex.

Don't think about that. That's how people get warped.

Dinner.

Need food.

Ugh.

Cooking.

This is why people get married.

Why? Your dad cooks.

True.

Shit.

Now I need that beer.

No beer!

Ahh god!

Boobs?

Haha, same as always.

Might as well go to bed.

Can't sleep.

Umm, formulate your list of 100 girls you wanna sleep with.

Ok.

100. Reese Witherspoon.

99. New school Punky Brewster.

98. This is dumb.

I'm going online.

Everyone is in bed.

God, it's only...damn it's 1:45.

I have class tomorrow.

Why don't you do that diary thing?

Oh, yeah, how about a point by point list of thoughts from your day?

Good idea, brain.

http://www.pointsincase.com/single_guys_mind.htm

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Here is a short list in the mind of BLONDEBOHEME

Wake up.

Take a shower.

Shave my pussy.

Gotta do it every day or two to keep it nice and smooth.

Finger finger finger.

Ohhh I'm so tight.

Dry off.

Look at that sexy bitch in the mirror.

Im so great.

Boys are dumb.

I love my boobs.

Log onto CP and blab about how cool I am.

Ohh looky here.

I should make a special tread for Transwhore.

Wonder what boys take it in the ass.

ask and you shall receive ...

Wish I had a huge man in my dirty asshole right now.

Ohh i need to be pumped up with some hot juicy cum.

You're all gonna be my bitches!!!

My thoughts: more intelligent and much more interesting than the boys. Ummm look at her ass.

Wonder if shes a lesbo?

Nah, doesn't matter.

She not good enough for me.

Im so horny.

And thirsty.

I can satisfy both needs.

Random guy.

Still looking for a random guy.

Got one.

Unzip.

Suck.

Lick.

Suck suck suck.

Ohh come on I don't have all day, just cum already.

Suck suck suck.

He has to go any minute.

Yes, hes cumming.

I give the best head.

Oh yeah can't forget to Swallow.

Ummm.

BJs probably ahead by a notch.

Ahhh, now what to do.

Hey look at those boobs.

They are nice, but not better than mine.

Why.

Cause I'm the greatest.

Yeah I'm so hot.

Dumb bitch don't look at me.

The list goes on and on and on. Alot of dick sucking, and self worship. All bold fields are statment made by Blondeboheme. For verification just look through todays threads im sure you will find um.

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