How to..

[sotuchick]

Impress A Woman In 60 Seconds Or Less

By Rick Ellis

I think every guy out there has had the same nightmare. You see some beautiful woman at a club, or in a bar. You put on your best attitude, and saunter over to say "Hi." And then disaster strikes. Not only do you make a fool of yourself, but it's in front of the whole establishment.

First impressions are tough. Whether it's a first date or a casual meeting, you probably only have a minute or two to show that you're not a doofus of the first rank. And I don't mean the obvious screw-ups, such as dropping a drink on her lap, or discovering that she's the roommate of the girl you were talking up ten minutes ago.

While I can't guarantee you'll be charming any Playboy Bunnies with these tips, I can tell you that they'll keep you from looking like an idiot. Which, as any woman can tell you, is at least half the battle.

* Don't use some corny opening line as an icebreaker. If you're trying to win a woman's attention with a line as old as Dean Martin, you're already a lost cause. Contrary to what you'll see in soft porn movies, women don't respond well to lines such as "Baby, somebody better call God, cause he's missing an angel!" Not only do these not work, you're lucky if someone doesn't just slap you for being a moron. Want a good opening line? Try this old standard, guaranteed to work. "Hi! What's your name?"

* Try fighting that compulsion to stare at her chest. This is the number one complaint women have about men. Yeah, I know we're just fascinated by breasts (particularly ones we've never seen before), but if you have any hope of ever seeing more of hers, try looking into her eyes.

* Don't check out other women while you're talking to her. Women have a strong attitude about this. When you're talking to them, they actually expect you to be interested enough to resist the temptation to check out the first shiny object that you see in your peripheral vision. Ignore the other women. She will test you, by the way. So answer any question about other women in the bar with the tried-and-true answer. "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. I was talking to you."

* Ask questions. Granted, this suggestion goes against the genetic makeup of almost every guy out there. But no woman can resist a guy who actually seems to be interested in what she thinks. This is the time to find out all about her. Not only is it a good move, but you may find that she's more than just a woman who looks good in a halter top.

* Compliment...but in moderation It's okay to say something like "That's a beautiful dress." But the compliment loses some effect when you throw out some line that's obviously over the top. Try and stay away from "You have the most amazing butt." Trust me, she won't be amused.

With any luck, these tips have gotten you past the first minute without her laughing in your face or uttering any sentence with the word "creep" in it. Now you're on your own. But if I could give you one last piece of advice, it would be this... Hey... quit checking out that waitress... hey! I'm talking to you! Sheesh, some guys are just a lost cause...

[stymie]

Those are pretty much all givens. Nomember needs to read that tho.