stogiey2k2 Posted June 17 Report Share Posted June 17 Q: What's the first thing a woman does when she gets out of the batteredwives'shelter?A: The dishes, if she knows what's good for herQ: How do you swat 200 flies at one timeA: Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.Q: What is the definition of "making love"?A: Something a woman does while a guy is fucking her.Q: What do 54,000 abused woman every year have in common?A: They don't fucking listen.Q: What's yellow and green and eats nuts?A: GonorrhoeaQ: Why did God create yeast infections?A: So women would know what it's like to live with an irritating cuntonce in awhile too.Q. How can you tell a macho woman?A. She rolls her own tampons.Q. Why do fags like ribbed condoms?A. Better traction in the mud.Q. What's the difference between a woman and a sheep?A. The sheep doesn't get upset if you screw her sister.Q. What's the difference between acne and a Michael Jackson?A. Acne usually doesn't come on a kid's face until he's at least 13years old.Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?A. Marry it.Q. What do you get when you cross two black people?A. Your ass kicked.Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.Q. Why do men pay more for car insurance?A. Because women don't get blow jobs while they're driving.Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles anhour.Q. How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?A. The cake jumps out of the girl.Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.Q. How is pubic hair like parsley?A. You push it to the side before you start eating.Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blowjob?A. You know she'll swallow.Q. Why don't they teach driver's education and sex education on the sameday inIraq?A. They don't want to wear out the camel.Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewellery.Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball.Q. How do the little boys at Michael Jackson's ranch know when it isbedtime?A. When the big hand touches the little hand...Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?A. Look inside your pants; if you have a penis, it's not time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funketeer Posted June 17 Report Share Posted June 17 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stogiey2k2 Posted June 18 Author Report Share Posted June 18 what up master funk? haven't seen much of your classic pictures lately...you must be snowboarding somewhere..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funketeer Posted June 18 Report Share Posted June 18 I'm doing fine brother, all good...I wish I was snowboarding but the wait kinda makes it even better funny pics on your way, be on the lookout! peace yo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeffy1 Posted June 18 Report Share Posted June 18 who think's of this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funketeer Posted June 18 Report Share Posted June 18 Check this quotes by the master of sour humor and snappy answers...Groucho Marx!!! Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.Room service? Send up a larger room.Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters?You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I'll bet he was glad to get rid of it.A man's only as old as the woman he feels.Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book.I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.It is better to have loft and lost than to never have loft at all.I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honour; which is probably more than she ever did.Women should be obscene and not heard.Time wounds all heels.Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife.Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mimid Posted June 18 Report Share Posted June 18 wakawakawaka!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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