djmikedr Posted November 6 Report Share Posted November 6 Subject: Horoscopes by Adam SandlerAquarius (Jan 23 - Feb 22) You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you do not pay attention to anyone or anything. Everyone thinks you smoke a lot of dope.Pisces (Feb 23 - Mar 22) You are a pioneer type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient and full of advice. You do nothing but piss-off everyone you come in contact with. You are a prick. Aries (Mar 23 - April 22) You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have minor influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are a general dipshit. Taurus (April 23 - May 22) You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamned communist.Gemini (May 23 - June 22) You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are a cheap bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest. Cancer (June 23 - July 22) You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you will always be on welfare and won't be worth a shit. Everyone in prison is a Cancer. Leo (July 23 - Aug 22) You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving motherfu..........Virgo (Aug 23 - Sept 22) You are the logical type and hate disorder. Your shit-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while fu........ing. Virgos make good bus drivers and pimps.Libra (Sept 23 - Oct 22) You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality. If you are a male you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libras die of venereal disease. Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 22) You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered. Sagittarius (Nov 23 - Dec 22) You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks. You are a worthless piece of shit. Capricorn (Dec 23 - Jan 22) You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.------------------Use email DJmikeDR@aol.comPM way too slow! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajja0 Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 hahaha im a gemini but incest...dont go there. my mans a leo perfect j/k lmaothanks for the self confidence. and inspiration Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trippintrance64 Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 Originally posted by ajja0:hahaha im a gemini but incest...dont go there. my mans a leo perfect j/k lmaothanks for the self confidence. and inspiration gemini here too....LOL!!!!------------------A man makes his sunshine, and he makes his rain. Look at what you have, and where you are, before you say, "I've had a horrible day" Appreciate what you have, and realize how much others wish they could have that much. Live Life, and LOVE IT! --Me"The Suspense is TERRIBLE....i hope it'll last!" -Willy Wonka Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klitika Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 lol so true howd he know im a true gemini and the last part is so true along with the bi thing haha however not a cheap bastard ------------------ .... the only thing I will ever ask of you is to promise not to stop when I say when .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djmikedr Posted November 7 Author Report Share Posted November 7 Weird Al Yankovic has a song "Your Horoscope" on his latest album "Running With Scissors", its hysterical.If I can figure a way to do MP3, I'll put it up.------------------Use email DJmikeDR@aol.comPM way too slow! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cotoncandydream Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 HAHHA SCORPIO HERE!! AND I COULD NOT AGREE MORE WITH MY HOROSCOPE!! ------------------Failure is not an Option!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassa Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 LEO HERE!!!That fit me perfectly!!!LOOOOL.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gq2727 Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 Originally posted by klitika:lol so true howd he know im a true gemini and the last part is so true along with the bi thing haha however not a cheap bastard Not a cheap bastard...but you thrive on incest?------------------"The world is a better place because of those who refuse to believe they can't fly." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djmikedr Posted November 7 Author Report Share Posted November 7 Originally posted by cotoncandydream:HAHHA SCORPIO HERE!! AND I COULD NOT AGREE MORE WITH MY HOROSCOPE!! ok so I'm on nov 22...everyone accept this thing says i'm a sagbut this says i'm a scorp...which one?------------------Use email DJmikeDR@aol.comPM way too slow! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klitika Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 Originally posted by gq2727: Not a cheap bastard...but you thrive on incest?yup yup cause im freaky like that and u'd never really know if ya meet me you would be like her no way ! but yes mhm ME! ------------------ .... the only thing I will ever ask of you is to promise not to stop when I say when .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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