old but funny... You know youre ghetto when:

[dgmodel]

-there's Reusable Bacon Grease In A Maxwell House Can In The Center Of The Burners On Your Stove.

-turning Up The Heat Means Turning On Another Burner On The Stove.

-the Batteries In Your Remote Control Are Held In Place With A Piece Of Tape.

-something Smells Spoiled In The Refrigerator, And All You Do Is Change The Box Of Arm & Hammer Baking Soda

-your Furniture Is Covered In Plastic

-you Add "ed" Or "t" To The End Of A Word That's Already In The Past Tense (e.g., Tooked, Light-skinneded, Kilt, Ruint).

-you Still Refer To Your Stereo As The Hi-fi.

-you Refer To Your Dresser As "the Bureau."

-you Refer To The Refrigerator As An Icebox.

-the Back Of Your Toilet Seat Is Always Off, And You Know How To Manually Flush It.

-you Don't Think You're Clean Unless There Is Visible Baby Powder On Your Neck And Chest, And You Ain't Even No Baby.

-you've Never Been To The Dentist

-your Children's Only Form Of Entertainment Is Singing In The Window Fan

-your Child Drops His Pacifier, And You Sanitize It By Sucking On It.

-you Clean Your Ears With A Bobby Pin, Key, Or Ink Pen Cap

-the Only Art You Own Is On Your Fingernails

-you Refer To The Hair At The Nape Of Your Neck As Your "kitchen."

-your Child Thinks His Real Name Is Little Man.

-you've Ever Been Beaten With An Extension Cord

-you Have Trouble Spelling Your Children's Names, And You Named Them.

-you've Ever Dropped Anything And Kissed It Up To God Before You Ate It

-you've Ever Referred To The Wind As The Hawk.

-the Person You're Speaking To Doesn't Speak Any English And You Just Talk Louder.

-you Wear A Watch That You Know Doesn't Work

-you Pinch You Newborn's Nose To Make It Thin

-you Have More Shoes Than You Have Books.

-you Use Salt Before You Taste Your Food

-you Got Angry When The Government Stopped The Cheese Program

-you Put Your Salted Peanuts In The Bottom Of Your Coca-cola

-the Rear Window Of Your Car Is Filled With Stuffed Animals

-your Car Cost More Than Your House

-you Ever Played Knuckles

-you Can Learn The Latest Dances From Your Church Choir

-either The Bride Or Groom Sings A Solo To Each Other, Or Both

-the Reception Meal Was Cooked By The Bride's Mother.

-there Are More Guest At The Reception Than There Were At The Wedding.

-the Majority Of The Flowers At The Burial Site Are Plastic, And/or Taken Back The Following Day

-you Ever Said That The Deceased Has "slipped Away."

If You Hear Or Say Any Of The Following Phrases:

"right About Now We're Gonna Take A Pause For The Cause"

"can I Get Those 7 Digits?"

You Eat These Ghetto Snacks: Pork Rinds, Chitterlings, Moonpies With Coke, Pistachios, Sunflower Seeds, Pumpkin Seeds, Licorice, Salt 'n Vinegar Chips, Now 'n Laters, Juice-filled Wax, Pixie Stix, Twisters, Bom Pops, Push-ups, Mary Janes, Lemon Heads, Boston Baked Beans, Mr. Softee, Redhots, Freezpops, Chick O Stix, Snowballs, Jiffy Pops, Cheez Whiz, Pop-tarts, Candy Stuck To Paper, Blowpops, Candy Necklaces, Jawbreakers, Sugar Daddy, Sugar Mama, Sugarbabies.

You Drink These Ghetto Beverages: Yoo-hoo, Malt Liquor, Tahitian Treat, Sugar Water, Fanta Orange, Red Kool- Aid, Red Dog, Anything Red, .99 A Gallon Anything, Tab, Fresca, Water Ice, Strawberry Soda, Pineapple Soda, Cream Soda

You Use But Mispronounce These Words:

Ambalamps-ambulance

Skrimps Or Strimps-shirimp (note: There Is No "s" On The End).

Pacific Vs. Specific (note: These Are Not Interchangeable. In Order To Determine Which Is Appropriate, Listen To Clues Such As References To Large Bodies Of Water, As Opposed To That Body Of Water.)

Skreet-street

Axe-ask

Look Dead-looked

Member-of Or Pertaining To A Recollection (e.g., Ya'll Member The Time...?)

Spiskettis-spaghetti

Zinc-sink

Showliz-that Sure Is

Nem-contraction For And Them (e.g., I Can't Wait 'til Marquita Nem Get Here.)

[iamsamurai]

that's so on point its freaky

[funks0ul]

i'm not ghetto!

[emjay]

i'm ghetto. i definitely did a few a of these growing up.

[iamsamurai]

i'm ghetto. i definitely did a few a of these growing up.

likewise

[iamme]

never have never will

[Guest sassa2]

i eat sunflower seeds... but that's a mediterranean thing too lol....

[iamme]

i eat sunflower seeds... but that's a mediterranean thing too lol....

yesm!

[funks0ul]

never have never will

yes, we all know you're not ghetto, i mean hello you didn't even know who weezie jefferson was!

then you confused the jeffersons with good times!

[iamme]

Balki and Cousin Larry was all the sitcom i ever needed

and Balki was mad ghetto

[jjkitten]

I think I'm ghetto .... I did some of those when I was younger. My mom rocked the plastic on the couches like 20 years ago, I played knuckles, taped the remote, put ed on the end of words that were already in the past tense, & I love me some kool-aid and yoo-hoo.

That one about more people at your reception than wedding is dumb, there's always more people at the reception.

[chrismakk69]

-the Person You're Speaking To Doesn't Speak Any English And You Just Talk Louder.

[dgmodel]

my father does that... its fuckin crazy... i tell him all the time yo the mofo is foreign not deaf...

[guest00901]

i'm ghetto. i definitely did a few a of these growing up.

Me too

-the Batteries In Your Remote Control Are Held In Place With A Piece Of Tape.

-you Ever Played Knuckles

You Eat These Ghetto Snacks: Pork Rinds, Pistachios, Sunflower Seeds, Pumpkin Seeds, Licorice, Salt 'n Vinegar Chips, Now 'n Laters, Pixie Stix, Push-ups, Mary Janes, Mr. Softee, Redhots, Freezpops, Chick O Stix, Cheez Whiz, Pop-tarts, Blowpops, Candy Necklaces, Jawbreakers, Sugar Daddy, Sugar Mama, Sugarbabies.

How are those ghetto candies though

[guest00901]

i'm ghetto. i definitely did a few a of these growing up.

Me too

-the Batteries In Your Remote Control Are Held In Place With A Piece Of Tape.

-you Ever Played Knuckles

You Eat These Ghetto Snacks: Pork Rinds, Pistachios, Sunflower Seeds, Pumpkin Seeds, Licorice, Salt 'n Vinegar Chips, Now 'n Laters, Pixie Stix, Push-ups, Mary Janes, Mr. Softee, Redhots, Freezpops, Chick O Stix, Cheez Whiz, Pop-tarts, Blowpops, Candy Necklaces, Jawbreakers, Sugar Daddy, Sugar Mama, Sugarbabies.

How are those ghetto candies though

[guest00901]

i'm ghetto. i definitely did a few a of these growing up.

Me too

-the Batteries In Your Remote Control Are Held In Place With A Piece Of Tape.

-you Ever Played Knuckles

You Eat These Ghetto Snacks: Pork Rinds, Pistachios, Sunflower Seeds, Pumpkin Seeds, Licorice, Salt 'n Vinegar Chips, Now 'n Laters, Pixie Stix, Push-ups, Mary Janes, Mr. Softee, Redhots, Freezpops, Chick O Stix, Cheez Whiz, Pop-tarts, Blowpops, Candy Necklaces, Jawbreakers, Sugar Daddy, Sugar Mama, Sugarbabies.

How are those ghetto candies though

[guest00901]

i'm ghetto. i definitely did a few a of these growing up.

Me too

-the Batteries In Your Remote Control Are Held In Place With A Piece Of Tape.

-you Ever Played Knuckles

You Eat These Ghetto Snacks: Pork Rinds, Pistachios, Sunflower Seeds, Pumpkin Seeds, Licorice, Salt 'n Vinegar Chips, Now 'n Laters, Pixie Stix, Push-ups, Mary Janes, Mr. Softee, Redhots, Freezpops, Chick O Stix, Cheez Whiz, Pop-tarts, Blowpops, Candy Necklaces, Jawbreakers, Sugar Daddy, Sugar Mama, Sugarbabies.

How are those ghetto candies though

[guest00901]

i'm ghetto. i definitely did a few a of these growing up.

Me too

-the Batteries In Your Remote Control Are Held In Place With A Piece Of Tape.

-you Ever Played Knuckles

You Eat These Ghetto Snacks: Pork Rinds, Pistachios, Sunflower Seeds, Pumpkin Seeds, Licorice, Salt 'n Vinegar Chips, Now 'n Laters, Pixie Stix, Push-ups, Mary Janes, Mr. Softee, Redhots, Freezpops, Chick O Stix, Cheez Whiz, Pop-tarts, Blowpops, Candy Necklaces, Jawbreakers, Sugar Daddy, Sugar Mama, Sugarbabies.

How are those ghetto candies though

[guest00901]

i'm ghetto. i definitely did a few a of these growing up.

Me too

-the Batteries In Your Remote Control Are Held In Place With A Piece Of Tape.

-you Ever Played Knuckles

You Eat These Ghetto Snacks: Pork Rinds, Pistachios, Sunflower Seeds, Pumpkin Seeds, Licorice, Salt 'n Vinegar Chips, Now 'n Laters, Pixie Stix, Push-ups, Mary Janes, Mr. Softee, Redhots, Freezpops, Chick O Stix, Cheez Whiz, Pop-tarts, Blowpops, Candy Necklaces, Jawbreakers, Sugar Daddy, Sugar Mama, Sugarbabies.

How are those ghetto candies though

[emjay]

can you repeat that?

[missroxy]

DAMNIT! i guess im just white trash.

[tired]

i should list the one's that DON'T apply to me