Memo to all Latins:

[emjay]

Several visitors to our office have brought to our attention that our

Spanish-speaking employees commonly use offensive language. Such behavior, in addition to violating firm practices, is highly unprofessional, offensive both to visitors and employees, and will not be tolerated. Therefore, we have decided to implement a series of rules in our office and would expect they to be applied. It is expected that ALL employees immediately adhere to these rules:

1- Words like coño, carajo and other such expressions will not be

used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion may get.

2- Non important matters should not be addressed to as pendejadas.

3- You will not say la cagó when someone makes a mistake, or se cagó

en su madre if you see someone being reprimended. All forms and

derivatives of the word cagar are inappropriate in our environment.

4- Lack of determination will not be referred to as falta de cojones

or mariconerías, nor will a person with lack of initiative be

referred to as pendejo, mamao or comemierda.

5- No Manager or Supervisor, under any circumstances, will be referred

to as hijo de puta, ese cabrón, or ese maricón.

6- When a good proposal is presented, the term esto está de pinga

must not be used.

7- Unusual or creative brainstorming meetings will not be referred to

as pajas mentales.

8- Do not say como jode if a person is persistent, or se jodió if

somebody is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say

que jodienda, or esto está de'l joyo when matters become complicated in

your line of work.

9- When asking someone to leave you alone, you should not say vete

pa'l carajo, nor will you substitute ¿qué carajo quieres? for "may I

help you?".

10-When leaving the office, using the term me voy pa'l carajo is not

proper.

11-When any office equipment fails, it must be reported as "it broke

down", not se descojonó, or se jodió la mierda ésta.

12-Last but not least, after reading this memo, please do not say me

voy a limpiar el culo con esto. Just keep it clean and file

properly.