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My mom said it's okay to talk to lesbians because they take good care of their cats and have a can-do attitude

i wanna learn to pick things up with my feet in case i get my hands amputated

What does mama say about the smoking?

Smoking is for Europeans and white trash.

What does mama say about sliding down the banister?

Don't slide down the banister because you'll injure your googoo and that's all some men have going for them.

What does mama say about little boys who aren't polite?

Little boys who aren't polite give the pro-choice a better reason to exist.

What does mama say about lying?

Little boys who lie should expect tragedy to visit them on a regular basis.

Happy Birthday, Stuart! Do you remember which aunt I am?

The alcoholic?


The one who lives with her "FRIEND", Linda?


Then you must be the ugly one.

Stuart, apologize to your Aunt Noreen!

I'm sorry you're ugly.

Stay away from my Danger!

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