HAZE Posted February 13 Report Share Posted February 13 Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awardsare bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are thegloriouswinners:1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victimduring a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber JamesElliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and triedthe trigger again. This time it worked.....And now, the honorable mentions:2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cuttingmachine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to hisinsurance company. The company, expecting negligence, sent out one ofits men to have a look for himself.He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.The chef's claim was approved.3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his carduring a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman hadtaken thespace. Understandably, he shot her.4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean busdriverfound that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transportingfromHarare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence,thedriver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there afreeride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, tellingthestaff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarrefantasies.The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from seriousheadwounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received theinjuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see howclose hecould get his head to a moving train before he was hit.6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on thecounter,and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, he manpulleda gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerkpromptlyprovided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the$20bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from thedrawer...$15.(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crimecommitted?)7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decidedthathe'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab somebooze,and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head atthewindow. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief onthe head,knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made ofPlexiglas.The whole event was caught on videotape.8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a mangrabbedher purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman wasableto give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes,thepolice apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and droveback tothe store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to standtherefor a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her.That'sthe lady I stole the purse from."9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into aBurgerKing in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demandedcash.The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cashregister without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, theclerk said theyweren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parkedon aSeattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrivedatthe scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home nearspilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted totrying tosteal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home'ssewagetank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges,sayingthat it was the best laugh he'd ever had. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lolahotass Posted February 13 Report Share Posted February 13 omg the last one.. soo gross but hysterical Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
intoxikated Posted February 13 Report Share Posted February 13 did anyone hear about Dick Cheney accidentally shooting his friend in the face when they were hunting in Texas over the weekend? lmao thats hilarious...he's a member of the NRA, too.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlickSlider Posted February 13 Report Share Posted February 13 #4 was the best.But that list isn't worthy of Darwin Awards, Haze, aside from the first one. The Darwins are for those who get killed or kill themselves through their own stupid mistakes. Agreed, those are some stupid people in that list, but only those who wind up offing themselves through negligence or other dumbness are eligable. Unless the Darwin Awards are now listing idiots as well, who didn't manage to pull their own plugs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimk29 Posted February 13 Report Share Posted February 13 did anyone hear about Dick Cheney accidentally shooting his friend in the face when they were hunting in Texas over the weekend? lmao thats hilarious...he's a member of the NRA, too....Now, I'm not attacking you here... I just think it's funny that people say things like did you hear about...How do you not hear about the VP shooting someone in the face!? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HAZE Posted February 13 Author Report Share Posted February 13 #4 was the best.But that list isn't worthy of Darwin Awards, Haze, aside from the first one. The Darwins are for those who get killed or kill themselves through their own stupid mistakes. Agreed, those are some stupid people in that list, but only those who wind up offing themselves through negligence or other dumbness are eligable. Unless the Darwin Awards are now listing idiots as well, who didn't manage to pull their own plugs.And now, the honorable mentions: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ou812 Posted February 13 Report Share Posted February 13 Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awardsare bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are thegloriouswinners:1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victimduring a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber JamesElliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and triedthe trigger again. This time it worked.....And now, the honorable mentions:2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cuttingmachine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to hisinsurance company. The company, expecting negligence, sent out one ofits men to have a look for himself.He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.The chef's claim was approved.3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his carduring a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman hadtaken thespace. Understandably, he shot her.4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean busdriverfound that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transportingfromHarare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence,thedriver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there afreeride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, tellingthestaff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarrefantasies.The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from seriousheadwounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received theinjuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see howclose hecould get his head to a moving train before he was hit.6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on thecounter,and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, he manpulleda gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerkpromptlyprovided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the$20bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from thedrawer...$15.(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crimecommitted?)7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decidedthathe'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab somebooze,and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head atthewindow. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief onthe head,knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made ofPlexiglas.The whole event was caught on videotape.8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a mangrabbedher purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman wasableto give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes,thepolice apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and droveback tothe store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to standtherefor a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her.That'sthe lady I stole the purse from."9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into aBurgerKing in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demandedcash.The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cashregister without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, theclerk said theyweren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parkedon aSeattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrivedatthe scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home nearspilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted totrying tosteal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home'ssewagetank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges,sayingthat it was the best laugh he'd ever had.These are all old..............Try the real recent ones: www.darwinawards.comChimney-Cleaning Grenade 2005 Darwin Award WinnerConfirmed True by Darwin (13 January 2005, Croatia) One fateful afternoon, 55-year-old Marko (purely coincidence) retreated to his semi-detached workshop to make himself a tool for chimney cleaning. The chimney was too high for a simple broom to work, but if he could attach a brush to a chain and then weigh it down with something, that would do the trick. But what could he use as a weight? He happened to have the perfect object. It was heavy, yet compact. And best of all, it was made of metal, so he could weld it to the chain. He must have somehow overlooked the fact that it was also a hand grenade and was filled with explosive material. Marko turned on his welding apparatus and began to create an arc between the chain and the grenade. As the metal heated up, the grenade exploded. The force of the explosion killed poor Marko instantly, blasting shrapnel through the walls of the shed and shattering the windshield of a Mercedes parked outside. Marko's chimney was untouched, however. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlickSlider Posted February 14 Report Share Posted February 14 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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