Suhel Posted December 25 Report Share Posted December 25 Merry XMAS everybody!!!! lololol...> > Dear Santa,> > > > I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben> > a gud boy all yeer.> > > > Yer Frend,> > BiLLy> > > > Dear Billy,> > > > Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in> > lawn care. How about I> > send you a freakin' book so you can learn to read> > and write? I'm giving> > your older brother the space ranger. At least HE> > can spell!> > > > Santa> > ______________________> > > > Dear Santa,> > > > I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing> > I ask for is peace And> > joy in the world for everybody!> > > > Love,> > Sarah> > > > Dear Sarah,> > > > Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't> > they?> > > > Santa> > __________________________> > > > Dear Santa,> > > > I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas,> > I'd like for my Mommy> > and daddy to get back together. Please see what you> > can do.> > > > Love,> > Teddy> > > > Dear Teddy,> > > > Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a> > screen door in a hurricane.> > Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to> > your frigid mom, who> > rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that> > dream. Let me get you> > some nice Legos instead.> > > > Santa> > __________________> > > > Dear Santa,> > > > I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I.> > Joes, a dog, a drum> > kit, a pony and a tuba.> > > > Love,> > Francis> > > > Dear Francis,> > > > Who in the hell names their kid "Francis" nowadays? > > I bet you're gay.> > > > Santa> > _________________> > > > Dear Santa,> > > > I left milk and cookies for you under the tree,and I> > left carrots for your> > reindeer outside the back door.> > > > Love,> > Susan> > > > Dear Susan,> > > > Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer> > fart in my face when riding> > in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me> > a bottle of scotch.> > > > Santa> > ___________________> > > > Dear Santa,> > > > What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are> > you busy making toys?> > > > Your Friend,> > Thomas> > > > Dear Thomas,> > > > All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in> > Vegas, where I spend most> > of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind> > by drinking myself silly> > and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while> > losing money at the> > craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.> > > > Santa> > _____________________> > > > Dear Santa,> > > > Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really> > know when we're awake, like> > in the song?> > > > Love,> > Jessica> > > > Dear Jessica,> > > > Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever> > you do. I'm skipping> > your house.> > > > Santa> > _______________________> > Dear Santa,> > > > I really really want a puppy this year. Please> > please please PLEASE PLEASE> > could I have one?> > > > Timmy> > > > Dear Timmy,> > > > That whiney-assed begging shit may work with your> > folks, but that crap> > doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater. . .> > again.> > > > Santa> > __________________> > > > Dearest Santa,> > > > We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get> > into our home?> > > > Love,> > Marky> > > > Dear Mark,> > > > First, stop calling yourself "Marky" that's why> > you're getting your ass> > whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a> > house, you live in a> > low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside> > your pad just like all> > the burglars do, through your bedroom window.> > > > Sweet Dreams Marky,> > Santa> ------------------Upcoming Gigs...Fri Dec 29th - Sequoia (South Street Seaport)Sun Dec 31st - The Tribeca Rooftop (www.tribec.com)Email-DJSuhel@aol.comAIM - DJSuhel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DollaBill Posted December 25 Report Share Posted December 25 ROFLMFAO ho ho ho Merry Fuckin Christmas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suhel Posted December 25 Author Report Share Posted December 25 **bump** cuz this shit was funny....------------------Upcoming Gigs...Fri Dec 29th - Sequoia (South Street Seaport)Sun Dec 31st - The Tribeca Rooftop (www.tribec.com)Email-DJSuhel@aol.comAIM - DJSuhel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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