Were going to win!

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"I DON'T WORK FOR A PARTY, I DON'T WORK FOR A SPECIAL INTEREST GROUP, I DON'T WORK FOR MYSELF, I WORK FOR YOU." - John McCain

"IT'S NOT ABOUT BUILDING A RECORD IT'S ABOUT HAVING A RECORD, IT'S NOT ABOUT TALKING PRETTY, IT'S ABOUT TALKING STRAIGHT." - Tom Ridge

I felt like Roberta Flack in that song when that dude is killing her softly with his words. Those quotes up there made my blue and white eyes red as I felt they were meant just for me. I'm going to ignore all the snarky comments and attribute them to just some "ground noise and static" and in this spirit continue to make up my own mind…about THE ELDRIDGE. I ignored the txt msgs from the true believers to rush over there at like 10:30 'cause Donald Trump was there. As the speech was ending I glanced in the mirror and saw that The Donald and I were probably sporting a similar doo, and so not to show the man up I cleaned up my act.

I left home and decided to foot it and digest the RNC and their hair doo's and such, and found myself lost looking for Eldridge Street. It's sad, as I used to know my way around down there. I asked a guy in front of a bodega which way it was and he just told me where it wasn't. Oh well, he was a forty ounce sort of fellow and I had my mind set on some of that Armand De Brignac. Another text asked me to rush to view Mr. Trump. In his honor and inspired by Mr. McCain’s plea to help my fellow Americans, I slipped a buck to the girl with the spikes, melting eye liner and the sign that said "help me I’m down on my luck.†She made me an offer I could refuse and I continued on my journey. A door of familiar faces smiled me inside to a room filled with tall and beautiful people. I was glad to see Matt Levine rushing and gushing over to me as I tower over him. He gave me the three minute tour. It's a small joint. There was the Armand De Brignac wall which was a lot less tacky than I expected. Indeed the place looked good. Not too much, the design stayed within itself and didn't overpower the pretty people. There were no new ideas. Matt thanked me for my supportive words and for being a friend. I looked him in the eye and told him that, ‘I’m not being his friend, I was telling it like I saw it. And if you fuck up I’m going to say that too.’ He smiled and said he understood, and started to rehash his journey to this night. Started to explain, maybe even apologize for things once said. I told him, ‘He had done a great job, everyone is talking about this place, and really who's talking about Catch 22?’

I lasted five minutes. Not because I didn’t love it but because it just isn’t my scene. The vans and t-shirt set outside the cheap seat joints left, and right of this oasis of all things modelly and bottley were confused. All were still shell shocked that Mr. Trump was on the block. ‘What’s up with that?’ queried an old queery friend who gave me the secret handshake. I told him it was a promo for the new Trump show "I'M JUST DONNIE FROM THE BLOCK". ‘He's from around the way ya know.’ He looked at me like I was Sarah Palin's husband and said, ‘FOR REAL?’ I told him, ‘We’re going to win’ and I left to look for a bar. Now I only drink two or three times a year, whenever I have sex - but this night of the RNC, The Donald, and The Eldridge deserved an exception. So I looked for that nice guy with the forty and the gal with the cardboard sign, with hopes of making them part of my America.

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