That's So Dow 14,000: Sparklers

[cpnews]

Photo via GoaG, PMc

While we have never been a fan of bottle service, we certainly have understood it's place in the nightclub business. Then, a bottle with juices, soda, and red bull wasn't enough. How could you top it? Sparklers. Crowding into a table and paying a 300% markup had to start coming with a $.10 wanna be firecracker to make patrons feel all warm and tingly inside, helping expand the "look at me" nonsense that was pervasive in the bottle buying culture. When it was Dow 14,000, that was well and good. People wanted a sparkler for buying a PBR, nevermind Moet. But things have changed. People have changed. Hell, Grandma Clara has become an internet celebrity for sharing her depression recipes, because that's what we're all going to be eating in another six month. We're not saying to stay home, waiting for the word to crack open each other's skulls and feasting on the goo inside. But maybe, just maybe, it's time to lose the sparklers.