misskittie Posted April 23 Report Share Posted April 23 Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband > > > > rolling around in pain on > > > > the ground? > > > > A. Shoot him again. > > > > > > > > Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung? > > > > A. When you can just barely slip your finger in > > > > between his neck and the > > > > noose. > > > > > > > > Q. What do you call the useless piece of skin on the > > > > end of a man's penis? > > > > A. His body. > > > > > > > > Q. Why do little boys whine? > > > > A. Because they're practicing to be men. > > > > > > > > Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light > > > > bulb? > > > > A. One - he just holds it up there and waits for the > > > > world to revolve > > > > around him. > > > > > > > > Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light > > > > bulb? > > > > A. Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to > > > > listen to him brag about > > > > the screwing part. > > > > > > > > Q. What do you call a handcuffed man? > > > > A. Trustworthy. > > > > > > > > Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed > > > > gasping for breath and > > > > calling your name? > > > > A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. > > > > > > > > Q. Why do doctors slap babies butts right after > > > > they're born? > > > > A. To knock the penises off the smart ones. > > > > > > > > Q. Why do men name their penises? > > > > A. Because they don't like the idea of having a > > > > stranger make 90% of their > > > > decisions. > > > > > > > > Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize > > > > one egg? > > > > A. Because not one will stop and ask directions. > > > > > > > > Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their > > > > males after mating? > > > > A. To stop the snoring before it starts. > > > > > > > > Q: What's the best way to kill a man? > > > > A: Put a naked woman and a six-pack in front of him. > > > > Then tell him to pick only one. > > > > > > > > Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the > > > > toilet? > > > > A: Because it helps them remember which end they > > > > need to wipe. > > > > > > > > Q: What is the difference between men and women... > > > > A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. > > > > A man wants > > > > every woman to satisfy his one need. > > > > > > > > Q: How does a man keep his youth? > > > > A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds. > > > > > > > > Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your > > > > e-mail? > > > > A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals" BTW - My mommy sent this to me. What a wack job that lady is...------------------ ~~~~~yup yup~~~~~ "AllEged bOyfRiend sTEalEr" lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djmikedr Posted April 24 Report Share Posted April 24 so thats where you get it from------------------Available for play, but not for stay.New Mix CD available "5 HTP"DJmikeDR@aol.com aim: DJmikeDR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misskittie Posted April 24 Author Report Share Posted April 24 Originally posted by apotheosis:so thats where you get it fromYes I *am* my mother's daughter and quite proud of that too if I may say so myself~ ------------------ "shes says, "come on grow old with me, they say the best is yet to be. i ask you to hold my hand, put your arm around me, help me understand. dependence is new to me. completeness, a wonder to see. something comes inside of me, and i,i have never felt so free. i'll tell you once, i can't do it again i love you more then i can comprehend." this was an independent girl - Erin Mckeown Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orchid21 Posted April 24 Report Share Posted April 24 lol some of them are sooooo funny ------------------ "Luna, thank you so much!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
djmoonshine Posted April 26 Report Share Posted April 26 LMAO!! ------------------ life's a ride... pack light...AIM: dELERiUM 540[This message has been edited by djmoonshine (edited 04-26-2001).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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