Pissing at the gas station

[Guest Buck White]

So, uh, I'm at the gas station the day before yesterday...and this young man (18-20 yrs. old maybe) runs up to me in a, sort of, semi-crisis panic. He wasted no time telling me, " Look man I need some clean piss ! " and presents, to me, a small clear piss cup. Now...I'm on the corner of 441 and Miami Gardens Ave and not only was there no bathroom at this particular establishment...but I quickly envisioned myself micturating into an anonymous piss cup, behind a bush, on a densely traffic-ed block which was damn near sitting on top of that government building where the Social Security office resides. I mean, if I had done it...it would of just been an sketchy scenario, you know ? So he goes (and he seemed sincere), " Man, these guys are going to hire me...I just....you know ( and he looks at the bottle ). I felt bad for the little comrade, actually, but i told him, " If I give you some piss today....the DEA will be kicking in your front door tomorrow. " He looked at me like he wanted to bust out laughing...but time was the enemy for him at that moment...so he had to move on. I think I heard a "thanks" as he turned and headed for the next person. The woman he immediately approached did not look like the type who would comply with his wishes...but he asked her as I jumped into my car and headed towards the bank. Now, for the record, I only drink nowadays...so I lied to him when I told him I had dirty urine.

I feel like a douche about it, though, because I can empathize with that kind of situation....but it just was not in the cards that day. The actual request, the time, the setting, this stranger...everything about it was just "not right". So I had to hit the gravel and move on. Perhaps, maybe one day I'll be able to make amends by providing some clean swill for some distraught job applicant...maybe not.

[Guest DeepHouseMan]

That's a funny story, I can almost visualize it!

I probably would of started laughing and be like, are you serious??!?!? LOL

What if there were reporters hiding in the bushes doing a story on how innocent bystanders will actually help someone who would fail a drug test get a job.

That would be classic!

[Guest coach]

Damn, that would be an awesome skit for one of those hidden camera TV shows.

[Guest Buck White]

It's funny you guys should say that because a, sort of, mild paranoia did overake my body immediately after he told me what he wanted/needed. And I did, in fact, survey the area...as if to find someone or something intricately plotting against me. It was such an out of the ordinary request.

[Guest jbit]

B.W. you're such a pussy. You should have rubbed one out in the bathroom and handed him back a cup full of semen.

[Guest DeepHouseMan]

What if that woman the guy went up to was one of the Cup Chicks and said, sure I'll be right back with your cup!

LOL

[Guest Buck White]

B.W. you're such a pussy. You should have rubbed one out in the bathroom and handed him back a cup full of semen.

There was no bathroom, idiot...did you not read ? My girlfriend and I were pontificating one day ( after the weekend you stalked me on the internet ) about how some people talk really big shit in their vehicles...and on the internet. For example, you talk real big on the internet...but probably couldnt bust a grape in a fruit fight. You feel safe in whatever little shithole you're couped up in. You're, literally, untouchable. So you feel like you can talk tough. Another example is how people talk shit, in their vehicles, to other motorists because they know, in most cases, they can just speed off if the shit gets too heavy. Most people are pretty non-confrontational in everyday face to face scenarios. Now, you obviously like running your mouth when grown folks are speaking....so I'm going to give you some advice and it goes like this....Stick to your MDMA suppositories and skipping in place in your puddle of sweat until the heroin junkie skank who's been passed out in corner of the club finally decides to give you a sample of her yeast infected twat which resembles a petri dish more than a "toto".

Okay, girl ? Now, nothing would give me more pleasure than twisting your legs and arms into ungodly positions....but I'll never get to experience that subtle joy because you still wont give me your full name and address.

[Guest Buck White]

What if that woman the guy went up to was one of the Cup Chicks and said, sure I'll be right back with your cup!

LOL

One of the Cup Chicks ? lol.

[ryan2772]

There was no bathroom, idiot...did you not read ? My girlfriend and I were pontificating one day ( after the weekend you stalked me on the internet ) about how some people talk really big shit in their vehicles...and on the internet. For example, you talk real big on the internet...but probably couldnt bust a grape in a fruit fight. You feel safe in whatever little shithole you're couped up in. You're, literally, untouchable. So you feel like you can talk tough. Another example is how people talk shit, in their vehicles, to other motorists because they know, in most cases, they can just speed off if the shit gets too heavy. Most people are pretty non-confrontational in everyday face to face scenarios. Now, you obviously like running your mouth when grown folks are speaking....so I'm going to give you some advice and it goes like this....Stick to your MDMA suppositories and skipping in place in your puddle of sweat until the heroin junkie skank who's been passed out in corner of the club finally decides to give you a sample of her yeast infected twat which resembles a petri dish more than a "toto".

Okay, girl ? Now, nothing would give me more pleasure than twisting your legs and arms into ungodly positions....but I'll never get to experience that subtle joy because you still wont give me your full name and address.

well what makes you think you're free of the same categorization, internet tough guy?

[Guest jbit]

There was no bathroom, idiot...did you not read ? My girlfriend and I were pontificating one day ( after the weekend you stalked me on the internet ) about how some people talk really big shit in their vehicles...and on the internet. For example, you talk real big on the internet...but probably couldnt bust a grape in a fruit fight. You feel safe in whatever little shithole you're couped up in. You're, literally, untouchable. So you feel like you can talk tough. Another example is how people talk shit, in their vehicles, to other motorists because they know, in most cases, they can just speed off if the shit gets too heavy. Most people are pretty non-confrontational in everyday face to face scenarios. Now, you obviously like running your mouth when grown folks are speaking....so I'm going to give you some advice and it goes like this....Stick to your MDMA suppositories and skipping in place in your puddle of sweat until the heroin junkie skank who's been passed out in corner of the club finally decides to give you a sample of her yeast infected twat which resembles a petri dish more than a "toto".

Okay, girl ? Now, nothing would give me more pleasure than twisting your legs and arms into ungodly positions....but I'll never get to experience that subtle joy because you still wont give me your full name and address.

It's not even fun any more getting you all riled up, its just too easy. I dont even have to try and you go on a Michael Richards-esque phsyco rant. Take your lithium meds and lighten up. Threats of violence ????.... easy kid.

[Guest jbit]

well what makes you think you're free of the same categorization, internet tough guy?

His testosterone levels are all off kilter. I've never threatened him with violence once. Sure I've called him a douche bag, pussy, fag, dick, cock .. well you get the point , but this is a message board. His ego is obviously fragile and can't handle being delivered what he so freely dishes out.

[Guest Buck White]

well what makes you think you're free of the same categorization, internet tough guy?

That's a good point. Because in my mind....I know I'll win even if I might not. Is this guy a personal friend of yours because you always seem to chime in when he steps into the arena.

And, you talk more than your fair share of shit too, buddy. So....sanctimonious you can get not. I'm getting too old to be fucking up young punks.

[Guest Buck White]

J-bit, go put on the panties your mother laid out for you.

[ryan2772]

That's a good point. Because in my mind....I know I'll win even if I might not. Is this guy a personal friend of yours because you always seem to chime in when he steps into the arena.

And, you talk more than your fair share of shit too, buddy. So....sanctimonious you can get not. I'm getting too old to be fucking up young punks.

i don't know anyone on here personally except pod.

[Guest jbit]

J-bit, go put on the panties your mother laid out for you.

I'll just put on your girlfriends that she left here.

[Guest Buck White]

i don't know anyone on here personally except pod.

OK so now we're lying. Listen...all that doesnt matter. Untill YOU ( BW wipes away tears )

have been stalked, than you have no right to speak on this. You'd be defending a Manstalker. And that's not right. Men should not be stalked. Well, women shouldnt be stalked either.....but you know what I'm saying. That was an emotional response that I can say I don't have any counscious recollection of ever having before. Too be stalked. It makes for a good movie title. Too be stalked. YOU HEAR THIS Jbit ? My goddamn kids couldnt eat for a week...what with them thinking some stalker is going to come through daddy's window late at night and climb over the dinner table and grab the nearest candle to start bashing daddy's head in. And for what ? We, me...you, had words on a message board. On a goddamn message board ? Take it easy, guy.

[ryan2772]

[Guest Buck White]

lol, nononono....it's like this