b-side Posted June 8 Report Share Posted June 8 I'm sure most of you have already seen this one but........WHAT HALLMARK DOESN'T PRINT... 1. So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day. Look at the bright side, it's really good pay. 2. My tire was thumping. I thought it was flat. When I looked at the tire. I noticed your cat.Sorry! 3. You had your bladder removed and you're on the mend. Here's a bouquet of flowers and a box of Depends. 4. You've announced that you're gay, won't that be a laugh, when they find out you're one of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. 5. Happy Vasectomy! Hope you feel zippy! Cause when I had mine I got real snippy. 6. Heard your wife left you. How upset you must be. But don't fret about it. She moved in with me 7. You totaled your car. And can't remember why. Could it have been. That whole case of Bud Dry? 8."Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder: What the f*** was I thinking?" 9."Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife." 10."How could two people as beautiful as you have such an ugly baby?" 11."I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind." 12. "I must admit, you brought Religion in my life. I never believed in Hell til I met you." 13."As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am that you're not here to ruin it for me." 14."If I get only one thing for Christmas, I hope it's your sister." 15."As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you've given me. Like the need for therapy..." 16."Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go, would you like to take this knife out of my back. You'll probably need it again." 17."Happy Birthday! You look great for your age... Almost Lifelike! 18."When we were together, you always said you'd die for me. Now that we've broke up, I think it's time you kept your promise." 19."We have been friends for a very long time, what do you say we call it quits." 20."I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here." 21."Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday-so we're having you put to sleep." 22."Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!" (available only in Alabama & Mississippi) ------------------ The DJ From Another Planet ™ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
menionleah Posted June 9 Report Share Posted June 9 mad funny ------------------ Our civilization is still in a middle stage, no longer wholly guided by instinct, not yet wholly guided by reason... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b-side Posted June 15 Author Report Share Posted June 15 W T F ?????Only one reply....No Respect I tell Ya'.... KIDZ these Dayz.... ------------------ The DJ From Another Planet ™ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laurie619 Posted June 15 Report Share Posted June 15 lol... I LOVED IT! DID YA MAKE IT UP YOURSELF? LAURIE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
romy20 Posted June 16 Report Share Posted June 16 Hahahahahaaaaa!!!! OMG!!! Where did you get those???!!ROFL!!!! romy20------------------ ARE YOU FEELING IT?_________________________clubchick20@hotmail.comAim: Romina321 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muchachamala Posted June 18 Report Share Posted June 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shugabooga Posted June 18 Report Share Posted June 18 good one!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b-side Posted June 19 Author Report Share Posted June 19 Thank you ALL for your support,...... Now I can climb down from this bridge (I was about to jump off) Now I finally feel Loved :Sniff: Sniff: ------------------ The DJ From Another Planet ™ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mouskawitz Posted June 19 Report Share Posted June 19 LOL..that shit was funny...I personally like 18, and 22...Where'd you get those? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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