Open Relationships

[tastyt]

Originally posted by stacychase

are things better between you and yours????

No better, no worse... haven't actually yet taken advantage of the openness.

Thanks for asking!

[LavenderMenace]

Originally posted by tastyt

One old German woman my Mom works with is always chiding Americans for our puritanical mentality. She and her husband loved each other deeply, but still would have the occassional affair; to them it was not a big deal because lust is a part of human nature. The way she spoke of it, it seemed to be fairly common behavior.

Hey, have you ever read any of Simone de Bauvoir's fiction? I think you would enjoy it. Its french not german. But there's this very real sense of the acceptability of external affairs outside of otherwise liftetime commited relationships. Its like a whole other planet or something, but within the context of the stories, it makes total sense, and it doesn't seem at all weird.

PS- just in case you don't know anything about the author, she was a very important feminist writer. Her most famous book is "The Second Sex"

[tastyt]

Originally posted by lavendermenace

Hey, have you ever read any of Simone de Bauvoir's fiction? I think you would enjoy it. Its french not german. But there's this very real sense of the acceptability of external affairs outside of otherwise liftetime commited relationships. Its like a whole other planet or something, but within the context of the stories, it makes total sense, and it doesn't seem at all weird.

PS- just in case you don't know anything about the author, she was a very important feminist writer. Her most famous book is "The Second Sex"

Hmm, sounds interesting. I've only read maybe an essay or two by her in this French feminist class I took. (Those French! What freaks!)

[kandj]

not everyone likes to use protection. open relationships could actually be dangerous.

i believe that there is one person for everyone as well but everyone has the right to choose their lifestyle. whatever works for that person.

i know that i would not be able to deal with my guy sleeping with other women even if i was his primary girl. he's still sticking his pen in someone elses ink.........then back in me

[mrdick]

Speaking personally, I believe in an open sexuality. I could never marry a woman that was not Bi-Sexual. Threesomes ande moresomes would definitely need to figure in our lives.

I say that you probably need the first few years of a relationship to solidify your conection before you open things up but after that its time to party.

However, I have somelimitations which I think are necessary to focus the openess on pure sexuality. I do not believe in both partners having intimate affaiors outside of the relationship.

Anything that happens at a sexual event where we are both attending is fine. We don't have to be in the same room at the orgy.

Most Bi-Sexual women are only Bi on a sexual basis - not a romantic basis. So another woman would be no threat to me. So my wife / GF could feel free to sleep with all of the women she wanted to - with or without me.

I think as we grew more secure the rules could be stretched a bit. The key is that you do nothave a sexual relationship that could threaten the other partner or has the possibility of emotional entanglement. She cannot sleep with her guy freinds if I am not there. If I am there its a differnt story - every girl deserves a few good Double Penetrations And then you would not want to do this too often with a guy she actually cares about as the sex could complicate things. But you would have to play it by ear.

On the other hand, if every once in a blue moon something like she got horny and gave the 18 year old pool cleaner guy the ride of his life - well that would be cool as hell. An 18 year old is no threatto us. However, her getting drunk and banging her co-worker at the office party is ano no because he is capable of having a romantic relationship with her - he is a threat - relative same age, good income, sees her frequently etc....

So I think at first you start with just you two. Then you move on to menages. Then you let her sleep with chicks whenever. Then maybe its orgies - but in the same room. Then its different rooms. Finally you throw away the rules and play it by ear using common sense. That would be my progression.

[flying_high]

... I think your thoughts on this whole issue are very interesting and amazing...still, I first want to see you going through this entire story. It's always nice and easy to talk about it on a theoretical basis. Once you're in love with that special person and you watch her having sex with anothe men (don't care about her bi-sexual activities as I know you well enough to know that this would be a turn-on for you anyway). Still, I think that maybe all your sexual-freedom might change once you're in love...I might be wrong sweetie...but maybe things would change a bit (even for you ).

BTW tasty and kandj: I feel honored by your images of German and French people...lol... mmmhh, as me and my baby are....I wonder...something must have gone wrong cause I can't discover those tendencies in either of us (but then again...I might just haven't discovered the "real French" in my baby....hahaha)

[mrdick]

I agree Sweetie - you gotta test it out although I'm pretty sure this is how I'll feel because I have hung out with several couples that are totally in love and do whatI said I would. And I really felt in sync with the way they felt and I saw the way they loved and yet were sexually open.

Still, I guess we will see someday. But as I did say, I think you have to create your own world before you share it. When you are in thatinitial obsession, crazy , totally in love feeling then sharing isthe last thing you want. Butafter a few yearsthe edge comes off of that while the feelings get deeper - then its time to spice things up hehe Of course if she is bi then I'm into menage a trois pretty damn soon ) The rest can wait.