lavkrap Posted September 21 Report Share Posted September 21 Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when a cow ran in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't - the cow was killed.Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what happened.About an hour later, the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes indisarray. He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and smiling happily."What happened?" asked Hillary."Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar, and their beautiful daughter made mad passionate love to me.""My God, what did you tell them?" asked Hillary.The driver replied: "I'm Hillary Clinton's driver, and I just killed the cow." ------------------things to see, people to do... hehelavkrap@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavkrap Posted September 21 Author Report Share Posted September 21 what's wrong?!!? nobody likes my jokes??****bumping**** ------------------things to see, people to do... hehelavkrap@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misskittie Posted September 22 Report Share Posted September 22 hehe------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavkrap Posted September 22 Author Report Share Posted September 22 A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of drinkin' fools. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back." The room is quiet and no one takes of the Texan's offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. "Is your bet still good?", asks the Irishman. The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses drinking them all back-to-back. The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits down in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?". The Irishman replies, "Oh...I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first".------------------things to see, people to do... hehelavkrap@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavkrap Posted September 22 Author Report Share Posted September 22 A Frenchman, an Englishman and a New Yorker were captured by cannibals.The chief comes to them and says, "The bad news is that now we've caught you and we're going to use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you can choose how to die." The Frenchman says, "I take ze sword."The chief gives him a sword.The Frenchman says, "Vive la France!" and runs himself through. The Englishman says, "A pistol for me please."The chief gives him a pistol.The Englishman points it at his head and says, "God save the queen!" and shoots himself. The New Yorker says, "Gimme a fork."The chief is puzzled, but he shrugs and gives him a fork. The New Yorker takes the fork and starts jabbing himself all over. The chief asks, "My God, what are you doing?"And the New Yorker responds, "So much for your damn canoe!"------------------things to see, people to do... hehelavkrap@aol.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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