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Life in the fast lane


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As you go out to many different places- you'll meet MANY people and have many chances to hook up.

But don't you think it's hard for real feelings develop if you meet people fast, and have sex real fast. Don't true love take time ?

I have djs and promoter friends who meet lots of pretty ladies at clubs. They change girlfriends faster then they change underwear. LOL!

Sure meeting lots of hotties is every guy's dream but- how do you know if you have genuine feelings for them ?

And I think- being in the superfast lifestyle of NYC club scene where pretty faces come go @136bpm , it's pretty hard to tell which relationships are genuine.

I mean- if you break up with youf bf/gf - all you have to do is go to a club that night and get another "Instant replacement".

I've had guys who tried to pick me up because they just broke up with their GF's just right before they came out the club... ..

I think it's hard to have a faithful realtionship in the club scene- TOOOO MANY temptation.

How do you know that it's true love w/ all the distraction of loud thumping music, drugs and tons of half-naked hotties ?

..I dated men in the industry who took me to all the clubs and introduced me to tons of people, AND I had men who wanted to keep out of club spotlight.

Are there 2 types of girlfriends ? The ones you party with and show off and the ones you keep at home and in secret ?

Who knows ...I've met a lot of strange men in this bizarre clubworld.

" People Are Strange"

[This message has been edited by dolcemimi (edited 01-06-2001).]

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I don't know but the thing is: I do love clubbing but I don't hook up with anyone there. I'm pretty slow when it comes to love/relationships (my friends all complain that I'm too "picky")...so I don't know.

It makes me think about a couple of things now though (thanks for that) coze I've been with a someone in that music business and even though it was a pretty intense time...it ended pretty fast...so maybe you're right by saying that it's pretty hard to find real love in that scene and that the temptations are too much??!!!

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What you say is too true.

But there is no need to throw the baby out with the bathwater. As I have seen in others and myself the fast-paced sexuality of the club scene is a challenge to evolve and get to know yourself better. And as with all challenges some people fail and are hurt while others eventually succeed and evolve to another level where they can embrace and be enhanced by those elements of the lifestyle that appeal to them while rejecting others.

Essentially you have to use honesty. And you can't be honest until you begin with yourself. You have to examine and understand your own feelings about sex and intimacy and love and the differences and common ground between all three. If you break up from a real relationship picking up some hottie can provide solace and healing but it does not in anyway replace the Girlfriend. Its when you think it does that it harms rather than heals.

If for you love and sex are completely entwined then you have to stay away from the quick affairs. For others you get to a point where you can take each relationship with a new person and accept it for what it is and can be using honest communication - even with a stranger - to make sure that whatever is happening is good for both of you. Of course nothings perfect and people will always get hurt from time to time. But no longer is the free-wheeling liberal lifestyle a poison to your system but rather an ongoing source of excitement and stimulating adventure.

Many can get to the point where they have a lasting, loving relationship with someone that transcends sex to the point that they can share each other and enjoy the sexual rush of hotties and new sexual relationships everywhere in a way that enhances their relationship, their love and their intimacy while providing a non-stop thrill ride that makes every day rock. Its not for everyone and it has to be done carefully and you definitely have to work your way up to it. But it is a possibility for many.

And in between the extremes lies thousands of possibilities and ways to embrace and be nurtured by the sexuality and openess of the scene in ways that add to rather than corrode your ability to love.

my 2 cents.

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well there half nude hotties all over, when you turn on tv, when your at the beach,clubs, gym, shit maybe even the grocery-store... if you meet someone in 'the scene' thats why you should take your time, just like you would with anyone else.. gettin to know them.. say you met the hottest guy in america.. this is the man you wanna spend the rest of your life with.. your married happily 5yrs (no children yet) hes in a fire, and his face is horrably burned.. his looks quickly faded, you gotta ask yourself, "can i spend my life with this person, even though the skin isnt' the same, but the inside is?"

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"if g-d hates freaks so much, then why did he create them? Freaks are like gormet dishes in SoHo restaurants. Cucuembers with lemon mousse on salmon baked with chocolate. It dosen't make sence. Its inedible. But some chef keeps comming up with more and more bizarre combinations. And theres always people to eat them."

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