Wisdom

[cubano43]

On going to war over religion:

"You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary

friend." Yasir Arafat

On the diffrence between men and women:

"On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we

can open all our own jars." Bruce Willis

"And God said: 'Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on

me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on Satan.'"

George Burns

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?

'Hold my purse.'" Sandra Bullock

"The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted

sexual mutant you happen to be, you've got millions of pals out

there. Type in 'Find people that have sex with goats that are on fire' and

the computer will ask, 'Specify type of goat.'" Jason Alexander

"Luge strategy? Lie flat and try not to die."

Carmen Boyle (Olympic Luge Gold Medal winner - 1996)

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."

Sharon Stone

"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either

you have diarrhea, or you're anxious to meet people who do." Henry

Kissenger (former US Secretary of State)

"My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee -

the natural enemy of a tightrope walker." Dan Rather (News anchorman)

"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, 'Thyroid

problem?'"

Arnold Schwarzenegger

"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in."

Courtney Cox (Monica on "Friends")

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black

men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."

Tiger Woods

"I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty.

Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing

quite well for themselves."

Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead)

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."

Jack Nicholson

"Silence is true wisdom's best reply." - Eurpides

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Hey sugar mama come and dance with me, the smartest thing you ever did was take a chance on me!!!