Riddles Devoted To Men

[djmikedr]

Q: Why do men become smarter during sex?

A: Because they are plugged into a genius.

Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay?

A: They don't have time.

Q: Why did God put men on earth?

A: Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

Q: Why don't women have men's brains?

A: Because they don't have penises to put them in.

Q: What do electric trains and breasts have in common?

A: They're intended for children, but it's the men who usually end up playing with them.

Q: Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?

A: Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor lock.

Q: Why do men masturbate?

A: It's sex with someone they love.

Q: Why were men given larger brains than dogs?

A: So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.

Q: Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?

A: So he can tell if he is coming or going.

Q: How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?

A: Both of them.

Q: Why did the man cross the road?

A: He heard the chicken was a slut.

Q: Why does it take one million sperm to fertilize one egg?

A: They won't stop to ask directions.

Q: What do men and sperm have in common?

A: They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.

Q: How does a man show that he is planning for the future?

A: He buys TWO cases of beer.

Q: What is the difference between men and government bonds?

A: The bonds mature.

Q: Why are blonde jokes so short?

A: So men can remember them.

Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?

A: We don't know, it has never happened.

Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?

A: They all already have boyfriends.

Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?

A: A widow.

Q: Why are married women heavier than single women?

A: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.

Married women come home, see what's in the bed and go to the fridge.

Q: How do you get a man to do sit ups?

A: Put the remote control between his toes.

Q: What did God say after creating Adam?

A: I must be able to do better that that.

Q: What did God say after creating Eve?

A: Practice makes perfect.

Q: How are men and parking lots alike?

A: Good ones are always taken, free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small.

Q: What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?

A: They are married.

Q: Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"

A:God says "So you would love her."

"But God," the man says, " why did you make her so dumb?"

God says "So she would love you."

------------------

Use email DJmikeDR@aol.com

PM way too slow!