cmb1975 Posted January 31 Report Share Posted January 31 Top things that are great about being a guy1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat2. Movie nudity is virtually always female3. A 7-day vacation requires only 1 small suitcase4. You don't have to monitor your friends' sex life5. Your bathroom lines are 80, percent shorter6. You can open all of your own jars7. Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained weight8. Your ass is never a factor in job interviews9. All your orgasms are real10. You can go to the bathroom without a support group11. Your last name stays put12. You can leave the hotel bed unmade13. Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow14. You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes15. Sex means never worrying about your reputation16. Wedding plans take care of themselves17. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend18. Your underwear is $10 a 3pack19. You don't have to shave below your neck20. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every night21. If your 35 and single, nobody even notices22. You can write your name in the snow23. You get to think about sex 90 percent of your waking hours24. 3 pairs of shoes is more than enough25. Foreplay is optional26. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you enter the room27. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid28. Car mechanics tell you the truth29. You don't give a rat's ass if nobody notices your new haircut30. The world is your urinal31. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area32. One mood, all the time33. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment34. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back35. If you retain water it's in a canteen36. The remote control is yours and your alone37. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them38. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked39. Someday you'll be a dirty old man40. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "_uck it"41. If another guy shows up at a party in the same outfit, you might just become lifelong friends42. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected43. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood44. Porn movies are designed with you mind in mind45. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries46. Not liking a person doesn't preclude having great sex with them------------------i know what i want, but it took me a long time to figure it out Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eviljav666 Posted January 31 Report Share Posted January 31 I have HOT WATER!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEST CEST FUX!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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