risa06 Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 oh God ------------------AIM risa06 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjr203 Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 Great stuff. Totally true. Especially the punting small dogs one. -mjr------------------In spite of all evidence to the contrary, the entire universe is composed ofonly two basic substances: Magic and bullshit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
visions Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 Originally posted by mjr203:Great stuff. Totally true. Especially the punting small dogs one. -mjrHAHAHA that one cracked me up!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
visions Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 Originally posted by risa06:oh God love em or leave em...but you know you need em. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
risa06 Posted June 7 Author Report Share Posted June 7 Originally posted by visions: love em or leave em...but you know you need em. not really...I have my own ------------------AIM risa06 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmerces Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 That was one of the funniest posts I've seen in a while!!------------------"Anybody can mix two records together but it takes a DJ to be able to do it creativley and make new sound out of that music" --A great wise man"Spinning is like creating a new world in that room for that one night. You create a one night oblivion where nothing outside that room matters, all that matters is feeling the music and loving every second of it." --Another great wise man Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitkatt Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 Why its great being female:(only need one)1- If you want or need ANYTHING all you have to do is smile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
visions Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 Originally posted by kitkatt:Why its great being female:(only need one)1- If you want or need ANYTHING all you have to do is smile. depends what guy your dealing with Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
echostar Posted June 7 Report Share Posted June 7 lol thats true but i hate sports though------------------ transcend 1. To pass beyond the limits of2. To be greater than, as in intensity or power; surpass3. To exist above and independent of (material experience or the universe) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
visions Posted June 8 Report Share Posted June 8 1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.3. You know stuff about cars.4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.5. Monday Night Football.6. You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.8. You can open all your own jars.9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.10. Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind.11. When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot ofsomeone crying.12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.13. All your orgasms are real.14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.17. You understand why Stripes is funny.18. You can go to the bathroom with out a support group.19. Your last name stays put.20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretlyhates you.22. You can kill your own food.23. The garage is all yours.24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.27. You never have to clean the toilet.28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be yourfriend.32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.33. The National College Cheerleading Championship34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.35. You don't have to shave below your neck.36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite.37. If you're 40 and single nobody notices.38. You can write your name in the snow.39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.40. Everything on your face stays its original color.41. Chocolate is just another snack.42. You can be president.43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.44. Flowers fix everything.45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.51. Foreplay is optional.52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.58. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.59. You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without eventhinking (He must be mad at me)60. The world is your urinal.61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about toleave you.62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.64. One mood, all the time.65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just tooyucky.67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.69. Same work....more pay.70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.71. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in15 tries, at least in theory.75. You don't mooch off others' desserts.76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.77. The remote is yours and yours alone.78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.79. ESPN's sports center.80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.81. Bachelor parties whip ass over bridal showers.82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell yourfriends you've changed.86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Fuck it!"88. If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might becomelifelong buddies.89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throwit across the room.94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anythingdifferent?"99. Baywatch100. There is always a game on somewhere Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trevor69 Posted June 8 Report Share Posted June 8 AMEN!!! ------------------ SUMMER IS HERE!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.