What else am I gonna write about besides MY GREATNESS

[shlonger]

Hey everyone, it's been a while. I have been very busy perfecting perfection, but I finally found time to update everyone. Didn't see some of you on church on Sunday, you know that's where I spend most of my time, but I am omnipresent. For all those who were there, I applaud you; those of you who were cracked out at surf club, go to confession ASAP. Remeber I know who you are. DJais was alright this weekend, not as good as it had been the previous 6 Sundays. Every guy wanted to fight me because I was hogging the ladies once again, but when they took one look at who I was they bowed in submission. Upon my arrival and invasion of DJais everyone in attendance rushed to the nearest bar and bought bottles of Poland Spring. DJais had sold out of water bottles within one hour of my incursion. The reason was that the mere sight of me gives you a feeling of euphoria and ecstacy. Those lucky enough to have held a dialogue with me, thought they had been having a prophecy. My touch alone was solely responsible for the orgasmic reactions of many females who had merely walked passed me. Monsterguido, Fleximus, Gropasaurus, GHBoy, and I had cleaned house, and struck fear into the eyes of Joey Carbone, Johnny Black Rock, Chosen0ne, and Nabuc. We were looking for all of you, and we understand that you pussies didn't realize who you were fucking with. We understand the reasons for your fear, when I look at myself in the mirror, I have mixed reactions. If I were a female, I would be mesmerized, captivated, and beseiged at the sight of a man that looked like anyone in my crew. If I were any other male outside of my circle, I would be alarmed, envious, and demoralized at the sight of any member of my crew. Then I realize that its myself in the mirror, and know that God himself couldn't have generated a better depiction of the human race. Unfortunately, I am a rare breed, and had God taken just 1% of my beauty and spread it out evenly, this earth would be a bunch of walking Brad Pitts and Laetitia Castas.