Jump to content
Clubplanet Nightlife Community

The official bad taste joke thread!


Recommended Posts

Guest saleen351
Originally posted by shroomy

OK lets see who can tell the most offensive joke?

Ill warm things up.

Q: Whats the worst thing about eating a bald pussy?






A: Trying to get that damn diaper back on

That was pretty bad...............

,,,Hey its just jokes ppl...

What do JC Penny and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both have boys' pants half off!!!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest saleen351

A black guy walks in a bar with a parrot on his shoulder...He sits at the bar and bartender asks "where did you get him?" The parrot replies "Africa"

Old one...........

Link to comment
Share on other sites

A girl goes up to her father one night and says, "Dad, can I have the car tonight?"

Her father looks at her thoughtfully and says, "Sure, if you give me a blowjob."

So the girl puts his penis in her mouth and almost immediately spits it back out.

"Your penis tastes like shit!" she cries.

"Oh yeah," her father replied, "I forgot I loaned the car to your brother tonight."


This guy is sitting in his living room surfing the channels on the television. All of a sudden, the door of the apartment whips open and his girlfriend storms through.

She screams, "You fucking asshole!" and she heads into the bedroom.

Stunned, the man flips off the television and walks toward the bedroom, wondering, "Now what have I done?"

Inside the bedroom he finds the girl furiously packing a suitcase. He asks her what's up. She responds with a hiss, "My therapist says that I should leave you and that you're a pedophile!"

The man responds, "Wow, you're pretty smart for a 7 year old."


Bruce comes home one day and says to his lover, "Please do me a favor. It feels like something's stuck up my ass. Could you check it out for me?"

His roommate lubes up his finger (mercifully) and shoves it up Bruce's ass, feeling all around, and says, "I don't feel anything."

Bruce says, "Trust me, there's something up there. Try lubing up your whole hand and checking it out."

So his roommate lubes his whole hand and sticks it up Bruce's ass. He feels around, and then pulls out a Rolex watch.

He says, "I found your problem. There was a watch stuck up your ass."

Bruce starts singing, "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you..."


A little girl goes up to her mom and asks, "What's that?"

The mom answers, "A vagina."

And the little girl asks, "Well, when am I gonna get one?"

And the mom answers, "As soon as you grow up."

Then the little girl goes up to her dad and asks, "What's that?"

And the dad answers, "A penis."

So the little girl asks, "Well, when am I gonna get one?"

And the the dad answers, "As soon as your mom goes to work."


Link to comment
Share on other sites

OK, so this is kinda long, but i'm 100% POSITIVE that THIS will be declared the MOST offensive joke. (Warning, those of weak stomaches don't read, and don't read after a meal, you've been warned).

Bob walks into a brothel and speaks with the head mistress about getting a girl.

"What kinda girl do you want sir?"

"A blonde will do"

"Alright sir, why don't you have a seat?"

So Bob's sitting and waiting when he sees another guy walking by him with a jar of tomatoes. Not wanting to smell like food, he had passed on dinner, but he was getting increasingly hungry.

"What the hell, tomatoes won't make me stink" Bob thinks to himself. He proceeds to wave the man over and says, "how much you want for one of them jars?"

"One of these? Hell, i'll give one to ya for free, i've got plenty!"

"Well that's mighty nice of ya" says Bob and proceeds to open the jar and starts eating.

Just then, his whore walks over to him and says "hi, my name's.... AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" and runs away...

"What the Hell was that?"

So Bob goes over and has a talk with the head mistress who apologizes and promises to send over another girl. Once again, same thing. Same result with the third girl.

Finally, the head mistress heads over to him and says "Sir what have you been doing!?"

Bob says, "Nothing! I've just been sitting here munchin on these tomatoes waiting for a girl!"

"Those tomatoes? that's what you've been eating all this time?"

"Well yeah, is there something wrong with em?"

"Those aren't tomatoes sir, they're last weeks abortions"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

truly tasteless jokes? i've read that one before.

here's my addition. not that bad though

A boy in the sixth grade comes home after school one day. His mother notices that he's got a big smile on his face. She asks, "Did anything special happen at school today?"

"Yes, Mom. I had sex with my English teacher!"

The mother is stunned. "You're going to talk about this with your father when he gets home."

Well, when dad comes home and hears the news he is pleased as punch. Beaming with pride, he walks over to his son and says, "Son, I hear you had sex with your English teacher."

"That's right, Dad."

"Well, you became a man today - this is cause for celebration. Let's head out for some ice cream, and then I'll buy that new bike you've been asking for."

"That sounds great, Dad, but I can I have a football instead? My ass is killing me."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 years later...
  • 4 weeks later...
  • 4 weeks later...

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...