kewl joke

[vision]

A man is driving in his truck to go fishing with his 8 year old daughter. As he is approaching the exit for the lake, he sees a man and woman fighting on the side of the road.

He is about to pass them when all of a sudden, he watches the man get his COCK cut off by the woman and she throws it in the air. The cock flies into the oncoming traffic and hits the windshield of the truck in full view of his daughter.

She asks, "Daddy, what was that?" Not knowing what to say, he says it was a fly.

She replies, "Well if that was a fly, it had the biggest dick I ever saw!!!!!"

[vision]

A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Her 9-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, so she puts him in the closet and shuts the door.

Her husband also comes home, so she puts her lover in the closet, with the little boy. The little boy says, "Dark in here."

The man says, "Yes, it is."

Boy - "I have a baseball."

Man - "That's nice."

Boy - "Want to buy it?"

Man - "No, thanks."

Boy - "My dad's outside."

Man - "OK, how much?"

Boy - "$250"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover Are in the closet together.

Boy - "Dark in here."

Man - "Yes, it is."

Boy - "I have a baseball glove."

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"

Boy - "$750"

Man - "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove.

Let's go outside and toss the baseball back and forth."

The boy says, "I can't, I sold them."

The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"

Boy - "$1,000"

The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like

that, that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess." They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."

The priest says, "Don't start that shit again"

[blaznny]

haha mad funny

[sextacy911]

:laugh:

[vision]

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk come in,

staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle,

shouting, "Your mom's the best lay in town!"

Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, and

the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far

end.

Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the

same guy, and says, "I just screwed your mom, and it was

sweet!"

Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk

goes back to the far end of the bar.

Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!"

Finally the guy interrupts. "Go home, Dad,... you're drunk!"

[vision]

A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket

and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that

department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce.

The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager,

"Some asshole wants to buy a half a head of lettuce."

As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.

Later the manager found the boy and said, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"

"Canada, sir," the boy replied.

"Well, why did you leave Canada," the manager asked.

The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players

up there."

"Really!" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada!"

The boy replied, "No shit??? Who did she play for?"

[groovygirl]

Those were good!

[fierydesire]

:laugh:

[vodkaredbull]

LMAO :laugh:

[amercali]

lol :laugh: tell me another one

[laurie619]

:laugh:

[vision]

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