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Funny story from the village voice


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Masturbation horror stories!!

I was obsessed with Mickey Mouse when I was a child, so my parents would give me Mickey things for my birthday and Christmas. One present happened to be a Mickey Mouse electric toothbrush. It became my favorite thing in the world. One day, my toothbrush disappeared. I was crushed and utterly confused. My mother blamed one of my "no-good friends."

Anyway, months passed and I slowly got over my loss. One morning I woke up early, and being too young to cook myself breakfast, I went into my mother's bedroom. She was lying on her side, with her back to me. She was making weird, groany, moany noises. Thinking she was having a bad dream, I ran up to the bed and grabbed her arm and told her to wake up. She screamed. I screamed. Then I saw my Mickey Mouse electric toothbrush in her hand. I grabbed it and ran out of the room, down the hallway, and into my room, slamming the door behind me. I sat on my bed red-faced with anger. Not only had my own mother stolen my favorite thing, but now it stunk. —Traumatized at Age Six

:laugh:

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