LavenderMenace Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 Well, i have actually morphed into my lesser half (u know, that guy who's always running around the city on very little sleep and what not). Yes, this is actually BarVybe posting under an assumed name.Actually, i was really retarded and forgot my password and can't get it back yet (DaVe please help!!!) but i couldn't wait any longer.Episode one: a marathon morning So, Saturday night was EXCELLENT. I arrived home with about 6 friends at 7am to chill at the homestead. I was quite polluted. U can use your imagination, but waaaaaaay more f*ucked up than any of you have seen me. we decided to play "what's the best version of that song".. Luckily between Shannon and i we own lots of songs.... 5 versions of love in traffic 6 of underworlds Everything Everything 4 of doom's night etc. many gin tonica and juices later (cause evidently i was deathly afraid of mellowing into just drunk and happy) 3petey passes out in his own living room to the sounds of Private Pyle going medieval on the sergeants ass! It is perhaps 9am. 10:30 - wakes up extraordinarily disoriented to the sounds of large metal clanging. Takes a while to figure out where i am. Longer to figure out that i'm alone and the metal clanging is the sanitation department setting up barriers for the marathon right outside my window. Pete passes out again.... Only to be awakened at 11:30 by wild cheering. He opens his eyes to realize they are glued shut by the contacts he fell asleep in. eventually, he looks out to see the lead runners streaming past. sprinting at 11 on a sunday morning - dumb ass motherfuckers!!!! I get up, put on my Yankees Jerzey and stumble to the corner to wait for my buddies to run by. I realize that i am still drunk and trippin' on something really juicy. good thing i brought tunez and shades. People run by yelling go yankees at me. i try to yell back, but my voice is still upstairs. i clap and wave and caper about in a little circle. My boy brian runs by, gives me the big hi five, yells Yanks!! and fades into the distance. The euphoria fades and i realize i'm gonna fall down unless i get something to eat. approximate time: 1pm Episode 2 (coming soon to this thread): meet the parents and pretend you're feeling normal. (please give me some encouragement) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
echostar Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 i love that underworld song! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LavenderMenace Posted November 7 Author Report Share Posted November 7 If i throw my ass in gear, i burn some of them to disc for u. They are all really different including a double speed one mixed by someone called DJ MadHouse????__________OK, Episode 2: Meet the parents 1pm. back inside. phone rings. oh yeah, gotta meet my parents at Lincoln Center at 2:45 for a play and dinner. No problem. Pete stands up: big problem. d*amn . Limps up to corner store to get a sandwich. Eats half of it before realizing that the hunger pains were really false alarms and the food tastes like ashes. into the shower. water feels like little insects stinging me. or maybe hailstones. can't decide what temp the water is. no shaving (waaaaay too dangerious). looks in the mirror - sees alien and looks over his shoulder for pete who is no where to be found. grabs a book. grabs some music. grabs the yankee jersey. heads out the door. tries to get on the G train. closed. tries to walk over the Pulaski bridge. closed to pedestrian traffic. pete starts to panic. 45 minutes to show time. the whole marathon thing gives us an idea though. we strip off most of our clothes and run the mile and a half over the greenpoint ave bridge to the 7 train in our loafers. I read a little Two Towers to settle my brain and waltz outta the subway at Lincoln Center. Evidently i didn't recognize my parents right away. Their heads looked too large actually. The show, Contact, is really cool. Its a dance / acting thing with three skits and is very funny (I think). By the way, my voice has returned to a low croak so i can communicate somewhat. Even though it was very good, i almost fell asleep 2 or 3 times. At one point i think i was hearing the words backwards - or maybe a flashback to Stairway to Heaven played in reverse. It is over. It is blessedly dark outside. My parents tell me that i am looking good. I manage to keep a straight face. Off to Shun Lee West for dinner. Sooooo yummmy. Now i am hungry. Hacked chicken, scallion pancake, Ants on the Tree, Sweetbreads and mushroom, shredded beef, etc. All i can think of is the Yankee game. I need a drink or 6 to wake me up. It is 6:30 Episode Three: A Guide to Happiness (coming soon) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cotoncandydream Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 Yeah I hear ya been there before...well not the tripping, and ummm not the marathon, and ummm not the falling down, oh and the eyes glued shut. BUT I HEAR YA GIRLFRIEND I HEAR YA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LavenderMenace Posted November 7 Author Report Share Posted November 7 hmmmm....there appears to be some confusion here. This REALLY is BarVybe. I can't log in!!!! my account is KerFucked!!!! Please help me DaVe!!!!This is not a joke. this all happened to me on Sunday. LavenderMenace was asleep in her bed, dreams of meatless dinners dancing in her head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kjlive Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 Pete, I have to say you were absolutely TROLLY-ED.I was there at "the homestead" in Episode One, and perhaps this is the gin talking, but I think you were also pretty Ketarded.And hilarious.I still don't know how you do it, man.I mean 6th in the marathon.That's remarkable.I'm serious.kjlive Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cotoncandydream Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 This must be the 3rd episode Pete's identity crisis where he becomes a woman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LavenderMenace Posted November 7 Author Report Share Posted November 7 that was actually one of the prequels CCD. I dealt with that when i was 14 and mommy confiscated all my bonnets and stockings.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kjlive Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 So where, pray tell, is Episode THREE? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LavenderMenace Posted November 7 Author Report Share Posted November 7 U asked for it:Episode 3: A guide to Happiness Ok, parents leave. 1 hour to game time. 60 blocks to the bar to meet my boys. Jersey goes on. Cars start honking at me. this is cool. I am at Columbus Circle. I am walking in a crowd of hundreds. Someome grabs my arm and says "We need to talk". It is a very earnest looking girl, maybe 25 or 30. She's standing between me and the western sky which is still kinda lit up, so her face is all sparkily around the edges and there are blues and greens and yellows flashing around. Talking to her seems like a pretty cool idea.... She tells me she has something for me. I look down at the pamphet in her / my hands: "The Way to HAPPINESS - a common sense guide to better living" hmmmm. "Why are u giving me this?" "Everyone can live better." "But why did u pick me out of this whole crowd?" She looks at me skeptically. "Uh, u look like you could benefit from this. Especially pages 4 and 5." Pete opens pamphlet to page 4: 2. Be Temperate 2-1. Do not take harmful drugs 2-2. Do not take alcohol to excess 2-3. Get lots of rest There is a large paragraph addressing each on of these. "So, u think i'm a crackhead?" -"Well, i didn't..." "Cause that's really judgemental. I'll bet there's a passage about that in here too. Yeah, here it is: "Respect people for who they are. Do not judge others if you do not know them." -"Wel..." "That's ok hon, i don't think you're really a bad person. I'm gonna go get really drunk and watch the yankees now" Petey walks down the street whistling a tune. Hmmmm....jellybeans look good (picks some up). Tries to guess the flavors without looking. Seems like berry flavors just aren't registering yet.... arrives at bar in time to watch most of the game and chat bout things....evidently i was fairly humorousBTW: on further reading, this pamphlet actually states:"The way to happiness does nto include murdering your friends, your family, or yourself being murdered." <--- which sucks cause now i need a new plan....Grrrrrrrrrr.The pamphlet is written by L. Ron Hubbard. not shittin' ya either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cotoncandydream Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 Episode Four I feel might be the reuniting of LM and Barvybe at my birthday party onthe 18th IF HE IS NOT IN BOSTON?????Or it could be where Barvybe breaks out the apron and starts cooking but makes us call him MOM. Ok now that thought scares me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snoozi8 Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 hehehe good one cottoncandy yeah he's getting close anyone find him a writing job? come on aren't you entertained? (oh wait....before he says it----yeah he can entertain you in other ways too----lol) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cotoncandydream Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 snoozi girl oh yeahhhhh baby I want me a BarVybe popping out of my Birthday CAKE whhooooooooo hoooooooooo. *Fist full of cold singles* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LavenderMenace Posted November 7 Author Report Share Posted November 7 CCD - I am an excellent chef (as u know), but only cook in the nude...unless i'm deep frying Snoozi - thanks for the support hon! *MUAAAAH* u know i'd love to find a penning gig somewhere, somehow <sigh>of course, if u can get a few friends to join u with full fists, cake jumping might just be the answer to my employment woe's.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saigray Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 Yeah, I'm glad u shared with CP....The gender-identity mystery just makes it even better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nycmuzik Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 You live in Greenpoint?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tilly Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 I needed a good laugh today..this was some funny shit! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crobra Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 Those were good stories - is there a episode4? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LavenderMenace Posted November 7 Author Report Share Posted November 7 OK Barvybe is usurping my identity again.... here he comes.....Yes, I (BarVybe) live in GP. LM does too right now. 2 blocks from the Greenpoint Ave G station.And these are NOT stories!!!! This actually happened to me on sunday. In fact, once i get my screenname back i will post more form that Happiness Guide. Its some funny shit. Episode 4 happened at the bar watching the game, but quite frankly its all a bit fuzzy :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mugwump Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 Waiiit a minute..How do we know it';s not really Shannonwho's been taken over by Pete's brain..MIND MELTING into a "Barvmenace" creature...hmmmmmmm!THESE THINGS HAPPEN Y'KNOW!oh well..(shrugz)Thanks for swinging by FUN last Friday..it was cool to see the crew reprezant forthe old MUGZTER!Any time you all wanna swing by the dooryou will always be treated by yoursetruely..STOP BY AGAIN IF YOU GET A CHANCE THIS FRIDAY..WE HAVE DIFFERENT DJ'SPLUS A GUEST DJ FROM JAPAN THATSPINS REALLY CRAZY JAP-TECH/HOUSE(Lol*)laaaaterzzzz~(((HUGZ)))MUGZ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigpoppanils Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 Originally posted by trancend i love that underworld song! i thought the song was called rez-cowgirl? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LavenderMenace Posted November 7 Author Report Share Posted November 7 Thanks for the door prizes MUGZ and you'll see me again....(guess who's talking now?).Yeah, that's the right name for the song all right Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mugwump Posted November 7 Report Share Posted November 7 Originally posted by lavendermenace Thanks for the door prizes MUGZ and you'll see me again....(guess who's talking now?).Yeah, that's the right name for the song all right LM Bring as many peeps as you want..you will always be welcome to any place, any time that I am at the door!~Plus I have a few gifts to give away this FRIDAY to all CP heads! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LavenderMenace Posted November 7 Author Report Share Posted November 7 well, I think this friday I might want to show my face at the place I'M promoting... but you never know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thehacker Posted November 8 Report Share Posted November 8 Originally posted by mugwump Waiiit a minute..How do we know it';s not really Shannonwho's been taken over by Pete's brain..MIND MELTING into a "Barvmenace" creature...hmmmmmmm!lavendervybe has a nicer ring to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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