Random Thoughts... I found this funny...

[dgmodel]

...Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a

peeing

section in a swimming pool?

...so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the

Tampa

Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs", what does that make the

Tennessee Titans ?

...If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that

one

enjoys it?

..There are three religious truths:

1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.

2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the

Christian faith.

3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at

Hooters

Imponderables

...If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several

times, does he become disoriented?

...If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from

Holland called Holes?

...Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

...Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

...If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

..If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

...When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you put

your two cents in . . . what happens to the other penny?

...Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

...Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just

stale bread to begin with?

...When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

...Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a

person who drives a race car not called a racist?

...Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

..Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

...Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

..."I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English

language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

...If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it

follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,

cowboys

deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners

depressed?

...Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

..What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

...I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole

lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they're

cramming

for their final exam.

..I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little

spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use?

Toothpicks?

...Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post

Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they

just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can

look

for them while they deliver the mail?

...If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly

are the others here for?

...You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

..No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning.

...Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't

zigzag?

..Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next

door went nuts.

..If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

...Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

[SPYGIRL3]

I have seen this list before.....It still makes me laugh.....Some of them are just such random thoughts that make you think....

[tribal]

heres some more

if the black box on a plane is indestructible, why isnt the whole plane made out of it?

where do park rangers go just to get away from it all?

why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

who let the dogs out?

my own:

when you lose virginity, does somebody else find it?

when they say 'sweet dreams are made of these', what are these?

can you light a candle with your ear wax?

if a person is blind as a bat, does he have sonar in his nose?

whats the deal with spam?

why do we call felatios 'blowing' when the actual action is 'sucking'

why do people 'sleep with each other'? what happened to all the stuff before you fell asleep?

why are there no mango-flavored bagels?