LmAo SoMe FuN SeX ThAnGs

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ORAL SEX-AN ODE TO LOVE:

Penis breath, a lover's dread

Is what you get when you give head

Unpleasant as it tends to be

Be grateful that he doesn't pee

It's times like this, you wonder why

you bothered reaching for his fly

But it's too late, can't be a tease

Accept the facts, get on your knees

You know you've got a job to do

So open wide and shove it through

Lick the tip then take it all

Don't drag your teeth or he might bawl

Slide up and down, use your tongue

And feel the precum start to run

So when the fuck's he gonna cum

Just, when you can't take anymore

You hear your lover's mighty roar

And when he hits that real high note

You feel it oozing down your throat

Salty, fishy, sticky, yuck!y stuff

Okay, already that's enough

Let's switch you say, before you gag

And whats your revenge, your on the rag.

*******The Top Ten Men!!********

1. The Doctor because he says,"Take off your clothes"

2. The Dentist because he says,"Open Wide"

3. The hairdresser because he says,"Do you want it teased or blown"

4. The Milkman because he says,"Do you want it in front or in back?"

5. The Interior Decorator because he says,"Once you have it all in,

you'll love it."

6. The Banker because he says,"If you take it out to soon, you'll lose

interest"

7. The Police Officer because he says,"Spread 'em"

8. The Mailman because he always delivers his package.

9. The Pilot because he takes off fast and then slows down.

10. The Hunter because he always goes deep in the bush, shoots twice

Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,

created a pussy to their design.

First was a butcher,

with smart wit,

using a knife,

he gave it a slit,

Second was a carpenter,

strong and bold,

with a hammer and chisel,

he gave it a hole,

Third was a tailor,

tall and thin,

by using red velvet,

the lined it within,

Fourth was a hunter,

short and stout,

with a piece of fox fur,

he lined it without,

Fifth was a fisherman,

nasty as hell,

threw in a fish and gave it a smell,

Sixth was a preacher,

whose name was McGee,

he touched it and blessed it,

and! said it could pee,

Last was a sailor,

dirty little runt,

he sucked it and fucked it,

and called it a cunt.

LIST OF POSSIBLE SLOGANS PROMOTING NATIONAL CONDOM WEEK:

1. COVER YOUR STUMP BEFORE U HUMP

2. BEFORE U ATTACK HER, WRAP YR WHACKER

3. DON'T BE SILLY, PROTECT YR WILLY

4. WHEN IN DOUBT, SHROUD YR SPOUT

5. DON'T BE A LONER, COVER YR BONER

6. YOU CANT GO WRONG, IF U SHIELD YR DONG

7. IF YOU'RE NOT GOIN TO SACK IT, GO HOME AND WHACK IT.

8. IF U THINK SHE'S SPUNKY, COVER YR MONKEY

9. IF U SLIP BETWEEN HER THIGHS, BE SURE TO CONDOMIZE

10. IT W!ILL BE SWEETER IF U WRAP YR PETER

11. SHE WONT GET SICK IF U WRAP YR DICK

12. IF U GO IN TO HEAT, PACKAGE YR MEAT

13. WHILE YR UNDRESSING VENUS, DRESS UP YR PENIS

14. WHEN U TAKE OFF HER PANTS AND BLOUSE, SLIP UP YR TROUSER MOUSE

15. ESPECIALLY IN DECEMBER, GIFT WRAP YR MEMBER

16. NEVER,NEVER DECK HER WITH AN UNWRAPPED PECKER

17. DONT BE A FOOL, VULCANIZE YR TOOL

18. THE RIGHT SELECTION WILL PROTECT YR ERECTION

19. WRAP IT IN FOIL BEFORE CHECKING HER OIL

20. A CRANK WITH ARMOR WILL NEVER HARM HER

21. NO GLOVE, NO LOVE!