guest00901 Posted December 6 Report Share Posted December 6 Women's Blowjob Protocol Theory1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.2. Extension to rule #1- So if you get one, be grateful.3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw; it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face4. Extension to rule #3- No I DON'T have to swallow.5. My ears are NOT handles.6. Extension to rule #5- do not push on the top of my head.7. Last I heard, operation deep throat had been donealready. Additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick?8. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.9. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week"get it through your head- I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I am not particularly obligated to blow you.10. "Blue balls" might have worked on high school girls- ifyou're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone.11. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.12. Leaving me in bed while you go play videogames immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you wouldlike my behavior to be repeated in the future.13. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculateabout the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happythat we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.14. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein content.15. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.16. When you hear your friends complain about how they don'tget blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.17. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning".+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++Men's Blowjob Protocol Theory:1. First of all, "yes" you are obligated to do it. If you don't wewill find someone younger, prettier, (and dirtier) who will.2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon of cream is a hell of a loteasier than licking a dead fish.3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queen" mean anything to you?4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it andbe thankful I'm not pulling your hair.5. When you're on period, stuffing something in your mouth is a way to stop your bitching and moaning. Suck it up.6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straightdays, you need all the fluids you can get, trust me. Within a biological perspective, should I trust anything that bleeds for five days straight and does not die? NO!7. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the shit end of the stick in flavor country.8. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth.9. Play with the balls.10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.11. Caress the ass, too. WE like that.12. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you? :laugh: :laugh: Late Night Humor From SexxyBabyD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcsglow Posted December 6 Report Share Posted December 6 LMFAO! :laugh: THAT WAS FUCKING GREAT! WE DO GET THE SHORT END OF THE STICK IN FLAVOR AREA, BUT I COULD EAT FOUR HOURS...YUM YUM YUM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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