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Ramblings...


sassa

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So I spent New Year's Eve in Manhattan with a friend...little did I know that this friend had designs on me..and basically pawed me the whole damn night..and he was way older than me,so I felt disgusted...it was partly my fault though,I didn't give a fuck as much...but that's the past now...anyways,so here I was last night hating the male race,when I find my old friend online. I have known this guy since I was 5,and we drifted apart after I moved away and whatever...anyways,we decide to get together for coffee,so we do...and I am not very affectionate with people in the beginning...so I offered him my hand...but he grabs me and hugs me and gives me a kiss on the cheek asking how I am and telling me how happy he is to see me.So we're having coffee and I had to leave since I had to take somewhere to their job and I thought that would be the end of it but somehow he followed me home,and wanted to hang out...I said alright,fine...had nothing to do anyways...so we drove around a bit,went to some stores...etc...and then finally,for lack of anywhere else to go (it was in the morning also),we went to his place,where he then puts in some Portishead and Jeff Beck and we catch up on our lives....talked about work,school,life,etc...at one point he asked me if I had a boyfriend..told him about my ex with whom I split up with 4 months ago...and the whole time he kept inching closer and closer...I sort of had an idea what was up,but I guess I was in denial because I thought NO WAY he is attracted to me like THAT (we are old friends,for God's sake!!!We played together when we were in the first grade!!!),but before I know,without any warning whatsoever,he leans down and kisses me...I pulled back and asked him "Do you know what you are doing?" and he said.."I've never felt better about doing anything else," and proceeds to give me long,sweet kisses..and finally,from lack of sleep (by this time it was 1 in the afternoon and we had met up at 6 in the morning,because we are both insomniacs),we fell asleep for an hour,woke up,and then I had to leave before I fell asleep at his place...and as I leave,he grabs me and gives me a long kiss goodbye...

And that's it.

What is freaking me out is that it felt so RIGHT,so perfect...like it was meant to be. We were both commenting the whole time about how weird it was that the two of us (of all fucking people) would have hooked up...the hooking up part I definitely don't have any problems with,I love to kiss,but....what is freaking me out is this feeling...I've never had this feeling before..and it's pretty creepy...I feel like I can really develop something with this guy...we are so alike it's incredible...very very similar...in an hour we had covered everything from the war on terrorism to drugs...it was just....incredible...

I don't know what I'm trying to get at here. It's just...I've been thinking about this all day and don't know what to make of it. It sucks that I couldn't have been here and seen this thing possibly develop..but I fly home next week so that leaves us little, if any time to hang out...fuck....I hate this...you meet someone amazing and then you or they have to leave...no fair :(

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Fight for it

don't give up at all on this,

if there's one thing you should never do, is pass up something that seems as amazing as the feeling you are experiencing,

i have the same feelings for someone, but i'm not leaving to anywhere, unfortunately, i'm stuck in the "mean time"

but you have, not time, take this thing and run, squeeze any time that you 2 could have together, cause, if you don't take this risk, then you might miss out on something grand, and then, you'll be left with, questions, thoughts, and more then that, what ifs

i'm saying this with every ounce of passion that i can think off, cause i understand you're plight,

don't hold back and don't think, more then twice,

so what i'm trying to say is

STOP READING THIS AND TRY TO GET IN TOUCH WITH HIM

...

I SAID STOP READING AND GO DO THIS!!!!

-peace

-love

-and the fuckin best of luck,

-dae

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I was about to delete this thread when I read your response...wow...I totally hear you...well, I am hoping I can see him tonight..depends when he wakes up...I left him zoned out earlier today...but....I definitely DEFINITELY will take your advice...life's too short right? And...it just all clicks together so beautifully..cannot even explain how good it all feels....

xoxoxox, Sassa

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i agree with Dae...

If you got along that well with him, and you guys stayed connected that long, you should def. see what may be a great connection.

But SaSs... play carefully. I noticed it's only been 4 months since....you don't want to get hurt again, so take your time. If he respects and cherishes the time with you, he'll follow your leaD and work it out somehow.

GooD luck, gal... Wake his butt up and whip out some magical words ;)

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