Jump to content
Clubplanet Nightlife Community
Sign in to follow this  
atomicapples

lisa

Recommended Posts

DG just told me, he spoke to lisa (girl i date/whatever) for 3 years... its like i wasnt really expecting it, but now when he told me she spoke to him, and ask about how everything was, but didnt even mention my name kinda upsetted me, its like no matter where i go, i cant stop thinking of her.. its like every little thing... from what she gave me to what we used to do, to everything... little bits a pieces... and my heart was really healing from all this.. and how its all fucked up and messed up all inside out... im glad he told me cuz atleast i know she is alive, but its like... why does it bother me soo much... i mean its done and over with... back to depression... loneliness is bothering me way too much... its like i hate being alone.. work work work, but no time to use it, and no one to enjoy it with.. its like no matter how much you spend it on yourself, its not going to make you feel anymore happier... i hope i see trace.. just a glance at her always makes me smile... just like her cute ass childish face... makes me giggle all jolly shit...

even though me and lisa had this and that.. and didnt turn out the way i wanted it to, i always smile when i think of her, and what she has done for me. but then it turns into this depression and hatred of what she make me feel and stuff...

its like after we didnt talk anymore.. it somewhat made me into a more of a bitter person, i used to be happy, jolly, and more i dunno not think about money as much... its like now.. money is the only thing that makes me feel happy... cuz then i can spend it... but all the shit i buy i dont even use it.. so its stupid... i just like used money...

life sucks...

loneliness is not a flaw, its a feeling that will never excape from within me... no matter where or who im with... there is always a part of me that is not there, and starving to give love, and to have love returned to you... safe and tender loving... from hugs to little smooches on the cheek... hold hands... both emotional love and motherly love... i think im going to cry...

:( :( :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Love that we cannot have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest, and feels the strongest. however heres what im getting at, nobody is telling you to stop loving her, or that you should, because you will never stop loving her... you just learn to live with out her. (like I said before) however you have to look at it like this... the person you fell in love with is dead... shes not the same person you knew a year ago... and neither are you... those two ppl are dead. whether you like it or not.. so lets say hypothetically you and her got back together, or whatever you wanna call it, it would be like two strangers meeting again. (think about it. you havent spoken in so long a year for that matter... ppl say a year isnt a long time... but shit to me a lot happens in year espcially at our age.. in your 20's a year is the older person equivalent to 5. because we're still growing and learning and we're still impressionable, malleable... hence why you two grew apart to begin with.) or maybe this analogy could help you see it a lil better... imagine you had a beautiful vase on your mantle. then one day it fell and shattered... now you have two options one just remember it for how it was and throw it away, or two glue it back together... now if you chose two which i think you would... yes youd have your vase back but it wouldnt be the same it would be filled with cracks, and missing lil pieces and it wont retain water anymore... hence you wont have what you had to begin with anyway... the cracks the missing pieces the leaks those are symbolic of the days you missed, the kisses you lost, the actions taken with other ppl... and will be there forever. I think about this all the time, about the devil. and wonder were would i be today if i never met her? if i didnt go with her for X.yrs? Who would i be? but i tell you this, that i wouldnt be who i am if this didnt happen to me, becuase all this that happend has turned me into the person i am today. Do I miss her yes... do i still love her yes... however that person is dead. do i like the person shes become? no! do i want to see the person she is? no... basically what im trying to say is that youre stuck in a moment... youre holding on to a memory of something that doesnt exist... you built it up to be something so great, or greater than it really was... and bro i can relate 1000% and im sure almost every person on here can as well. anyone who has felt, experienced, or tasted love if even for a second can relate to this... but what you have to do is count your gains, cut your losses and walk away... i know it rought because a day feels like a year, a year feels like an eternity but its just something we all go through, shit i think im still going through it. But one day you just bump into this one woman who changes everything you knew about, changes every lil way you think, all of sudden colors are brighter, days are warmer, you have meaning again you have zest for life again... and makes what you had look like shit compared to what you have with her, and then thats when you experience true love... and thats what keeps me going...

(i dont know if any of this made sense... i cant really articulate what im trying to say, if i saw you in person or if you called me i could talk to you about it...)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

true that bro...

thank you...

i need to be that fat bastard i once was...

tracy is what i want but i cant have...

i guess im back to waiting patently...

and btw.. i think im going to kill her boyfriend...

pete im going to fucking stab you...

fucker...

and make you lick my fucking toes, and then pump 10w30 put you fucking ass...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

What DG said is 100% on the money.....

Any damage that is done, whether it's to someone or something, is unrepairable. The best thing to do at a time like this is to walk away, and trying to dwell on what made you a better man. Maybe you'll look back at this situation a year from now, and be happy it taught you how to appreciate true love when you have it staring you in the face.....

Everyone longs or someone to complete them....to make them feel like they've found they're purpose....or themselves.....but sometimes....you have to dig deeper than deep inside yourself and realize how important and special YOU are....and how yes, money dosen't mean a DAMN thing.....and what matters most is YOU, and taking care of YOU, and loving YOU.....That's when this beautiful person is gonna barge into your life and flip it upside down....making you think, feel, and do things that you thought were lost to you....You may even look back and thank past loves for the experiences that you learned from.....

Because, as gay as it sounds, it's all part of the master plan....the game is already planned out, and we're just players....

I feel you on this through and through....none of this stuff is ever easy...but in the end, the good stuff is always easy....

Look foward to the good stuff, don't go backwards....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tony man no matter how you feel about lisa and no matter how depressed you get , just remember all of us are here for you. Dont even stress it , if it want meant to be then it wasnt meant to be , the best thing to do is talk to marko , hes been through the roughest shit and he knows exactly what your going through.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by marcid21

I feel you on this through and through....none of this stuff is ever easy...but in the end, the good stuff is always easy....

Look foward to the good stuff, don't go backwards....

I agree with you on everything 1000% except for the last part. the stuff that comes easy, goes easy... stuff that came quick or was made quick will leave quick and fall apart quicker... the good things, the true things, things that are real and here to stay are the hardest things to achieve, find, & earn... but their the ones that taste the best, last the longest and have the fondest memories. Trust me.. take it from a young guy with an old mind and eyes that have seen a lot... anything thats hard in life 9 out of 10 times pays off 10 fold in the long run... the and the harder it is the better the reward in the end... never give up, and never put your head down.. cause that one second you put your head down gravity takes effect and youre going down... Keep ya head up and your eyes open and then your heart will fill up with love faster then a concert hall with N'sync Performing...

(again i dont know if this makes anysense im kinda off beat today... not really fully here...)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by barslut

Tony man no matter how you feel about lisa and no matter how depressed you get , just remember all of us are here for you. Dont even stress it , if it want meant to be then it wasnt meant to be , the best thing to do is talk to marko , hes been through the roughest shit and he knows exactly what your going through.

thanks bro

for some strange reason... this is the first time i heard chris aka barslut say something serious...

:)

im very glad i got frineds like you...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Chris helped me get through my shit... with out him id prolly wouldve given up on everything and instead of visiting me in the lair you wouldve been visiting my tombstone... talk to either of us.. shit talk to all of us... talk to cp just talk dont keep bottled up inside or youll burn out or flip out... trust me...

<<GROUP HUG!!!><okay even marci can get in on this one...>>

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by atomicapples

DG just told me, he spoke to lisa (girl i date/whatever) for 3 years... its like i wasnt really expecting it, but now when he told me she spoke to him, and ask about how everything was, but didnt even mention my name kinda upsetted me, its like no matter where i go, i cant stop thinking of her.. its like every little thing... from what she gave me to what we used to do, to everything... little bits a pieces... and my heart was really healing from all this.. and how its all fucked up and messed up all inside out... im glad he told me cuz atleast i know she is alive, but its like... why does it bother me soo much... i mean its done and over with... back to depression... loneliness is bothering me way too much... its like i hate being alone.. work work work, but no time to use it, and no one to enjoy it with.. its like no matter how much you spend it on yourself, its not going to make you feel anymore happier... i hope i see trace.. just a glance at her always makes me smile... just like her cute ass childish face... makes me giggle all jolly shit...

even though me and lisa had this and that.. and didnt turn out the way i wanted it to, i always smile when i think of her, and what she has done for me. but then it turns into this depression and hatred of what she make me feel and stuff...

its like after we didnt talk anymore.. it somewhat made me into a more of a bitter person, i used to be happy, jolly, and more i dunno not think about money as much... its like now.. money is the only thing that makes me feel happy... cuz then i can spend it... but all the shit i buy i dont even use it.. so its stupid... i just like used money...

life sucks...

loneliness is not a flaw, its a feeling that will never excape from within me... no matter where or who im with... there is always a part of me that is not there, and starving to give love, and to have love returned to you... safe and tender loving... from hugs to little smooches on the cheek... hold hands... both emotional love and motherly love... i think im going to cry...

:( :( :(

babe, I know how you feel...I mean you have some good friends here hun. Take their advice. I think now all you can do is look forward and treasure those moments you did have with Lisa. I look back and I miss and want to be with my ex but what can I do. It is long over. Just remember the memories and move on sweets. Memories last forever....Sweets cheer up:D

Marci...you really believe that we are all players in a master plan? I must disagree. I mean I can't go on believing everything is determined, I like fate and I'm a dreamer. I refuse to believ everything is already done and set....Just me

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by fierydesire

Marci...you really believe that we are all players in a master plan? I must disagree. I mean I can't go on believing everything is determined, I like fate and I'm a dreamer. I refuse to believ everything is already done and set....Just me

Well, Fiery...Fate is what I was referring to....Fate is the "master plan"....something that's out there, just waiting for us to stumble upon it. If you think about fate a little bit, it'll sound like what I was describing. I'm one of the biggest dreamers out there....I'm with ya on this.;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

if you didnt think about it 24/7 there would be something wrong with you....

just think of it this way.. god ended it, cause hes got something way fucking better lined up...

just give it time, time heels all wounds..

if ya need anyone to vent on, talk to , anything im me

likmylipz or bimbolicousss

mwwwwwah

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by atomicapples

DG just told me, he spoke to lisa (girl i date/whatever) for 3 years... its like i wasnt really expecting it, but now when he told me she spoke to him, and ask about how everything was, but didnt even mention my name kinda upsetted me, its like no matter where i go, i cant stop thinking of her.. its like every little thing... from what she gave me to what we used to do, to everything... little bits a pieces... and my heart was really healing from all this.. and how its all fucked up and messed up all inside out... im glad he told me cuz atleast i know she is alive, but its like... why does it bother me soo much... i mean its done and over with... back to depression... loneliness is bothering me way too much... its like i hate being alone.. work work work, but no time to use it, and no one to enjoy it with.. its like no matter how much you spend it on yourself, its not going to make you feel anymore happier... i hope i see trace.. just a glance at her always makes me smile... just like her cute ass childish face... makes me giggle all jolly shit...

even though me and lisa had this and that.. and didnt turn out the way i wanted it to, i always smile when i think of her, and what she has done for me. but then it turns into this depression and hatred of what she make me feel and stuff...

its like after we didnt talk anymore.. it somewhat made me into a more of a bitter person, i used to be happy, jolly, and more i dunno not think about money as much... its like now.. money is the only thing that makes me feel happy... cuz then i can spend it... but all the shit i buy i dont even use it.. so its stupid... i just like used money...

life sucks...

loneliness is not a flaw, its a feeling that will never excape from within me... no matter where or who im with... there is always a part of me that is not there, and starving to give love, and to have love returned to you... safe and tender loving... from hugs to little smooches on the cheek... hold hands... both emotional love and motherly love... i think im going to cry...

:( :( :(

Sounds like you need to go out get trashed and have filthy animal sex with some randon hewa!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by atomicapples

DG just told me, he spoke to lisa (girl i date/whatever) for 3 years... its like i wasnt really expecting it, but now when he told me she spoke to him, and ask about how everything was, but didnt even mention my name kinda upsetted me, its like no matter where i go, i cant stop thinking of her.. its like every little thing... from what she gave me to what we used to do, to everything... little bits a pieces... and my heart was really healing from all this.. and how its all fucked up and messed up all inside out... im glad he told me cuz atleast i know she is alive, but its like... why does it bother me soo much... i mean its done and over with... back to depression... loneliness is bothering me way too much... its like i hate being alone.. work work work, but no time to use it, and no one to enjoy it with.. its like no matter how much you spend it on yourself, its not going to make you feel anymore happier... i hope i see trace.. just a glance at her always makes me smile... just like her cute ass childish face... makes me giggle all jolly shit...

even though me and lisa had this and that.. and didnt turn out the way i wanted it to, i always smile when i think of her, and what she has done for me. but then it turns into this depression and hatred of what she make me feel and stuff...

its like after we didnt talk anymore.. it somewhat made me into a more of a bitter person, i used to be happy, jolly, and more i dunno not think about money as much... its like now.. money is the only thing that makes me feel happy... cuz then i can spend it... but all the shit i buy i dont even use it.. so its stupid... i just like used money...

life sucks...

loneliness is not a flaw, its a feeling that will never excape from within me... no matter where or who im with... there is always a part of me that is not there, and starving to give love, and to have love returned to you... safe and tender loving... from hugs to little smooches on the cheek... hold hands... both emotional love and motherly love... i think im going to cry...

:( :( :(

:( that sounds exactly like me ......:(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by atomicapples

DG just told me, he spoke to lisa (girl i date/whatever) for 3 years... its like i wasnt really expecting it, but now when he told me she spoke to him, and ask about how everything was, but didnt even mention my name kinda upsetted me, its like no matter where i go, i cant stop thinking of her.. its like every little thing... from what she gave me to what we used to do, to everything... little bits a pieces... and my heart was really healing from all this.. and how its all fucked up and messed up all inside out... im glad he told me cuz atleast i know she is alive, but its like... why does it bother me soo much... i mean its done and over with... back to depression... loneliness is bothering me way too much... its like i hate being alone.. work work work, but no time to use it, and no one to enjoy it with.. its like no matter how much you spend it on yourself, its not going to make you feel anymore happier... i hope i see trace.. just a glance at her always makes me smile... just like her cute ass childish face... makes me giggle all jolly shit...

even though me and lisa had this and that.. and didnt turn out the way i wanted it to, i always smile when i think of her, and what she has done for me. but then it turns into this depression and hatred of what she make me feel and stuff...

its like after we didnt talk anymore.. it somewhat made me into a more of a bitter person, i used to be happy, jolly, and more i dunno not think about money as much... its like now.. money is the only thing that makes me feel happy... cuz then i can spend it... but all the shit i buy i dont even use it.. so its stupid... i just like used money...

life sucks...

loneliness is not a flaw, its a feeling that will never excape from within me... no matter where or who im with... there is always a part of me that is not there, and starving to give love, and to have love returned to you... safe and tender loving... from hugs to little smooches on the cheek... hold hands... both emotional love and motherly love... i think im going to cry...

:( :( :(

WOW :eek::jawdrop:

first time i read something from u that it dosnt include rudness ..................

so u have feelings ? is good to know :kiss2:

hey guys to much sugar droping around here , at leat we get to see some nice side once in a wile .......:tongue:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

well my advice is a bit different then everyone else

I think you should strive to reach a point in your life where you can feel completely happy by yourself

wouldnt that be better then depending on someone else's love for your own happiness?

Not only that but when your happy with your life you become more attractive to the outside world

I can only speak for myself, but i prefer to be wanted

not needed by someone

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

where the hell did this post come from? this post has been posted like a year ago.

thanks lickmylips :)

but im good right now, just confused and dunno what to do nor know whats the next step in my life is i guess...

i dunno...

when i wrote that, i was in total shit ass feeling...

i picked upself up since then with Z, barslut and DG's help.

i think i also have to thank marcid

but i guess when you look back at what i wrote there, its just plain crazy... i guess it shows how much that person means to you, and still mean so much...

i will always love her, and care for her.

she is who i am. she makes the world so understandable...

i wouldnt give the world up for her.

i love her more then i love myself.

i dunno...

btw : she is back in my life, and is like my left hand man, sometimes we bump heads, but we will always fall back into each other arms...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this  

×