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Can men and women be "just" friends?

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I really don't think so. I mean casual friends yes, but really really good friends, I don't think so.

I think there is always a sexual undercurrent running throughout the relationship. I don't think it's possible to have a strictly platonic relationship.

Someone either you or the other person will have some "more than just friends" feeling. Not to say that the friendship won't work, just that someone will inevitably have that feeling and just keep it to themselves to avoid hurting the friendship.

I'm just speaking from experience. Any thoughts?

-Juice :afro:

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through my experience - yes, it is possible - in fact, my bestest friend is my roommate who happens to be a girly girl. she is the shiznits and it is completely plutonic - i cant imagine not having her in my life and yet there is no physical attraction and the relationship does not impede our romantic relationships.

personally, i think it takes a specific type of person to accomplish this - i used to think it was age...cuz i'm an old fart..but now i realize it's about perspective and personality...and i'm not the only one that feels this way...i know plenty of opposite sex friendships...

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.......absolutely, if the guy is a queen.

In all honesty, one of my closer friends is a female that I have known for about 10 years and we tell each other everything. Yeah the sexual stuff plays a part, however rare of an occasion that may be, but whenever I think about it I just dismiss it as quickly as possible and try to think of some other chick.

To give you all an idea, my brother is also best friends with her brother.......same age, just as the two of us are. They've known each other for just as long.

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Originally posted by djjonstephen

.......absolutely, if the guy is a queen.

and that's what i call an ignorant statement...sorry...kown it's your birthday and all...

...let's see...i aint no queen and i'm friends with many a girls...guess i'm a freak...or no wait...maybe i can just get passed the bullshit and relate to women without thinking about fucking them...come on now...it's all about growth...

statements like that help perpetuate the stereotype that men can only think with their penis...

thought you were going to bed already..clearly you're not thinkin straight...

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most of the time no, sexual tensions always gets the best of us. you put a man and a woman in a room for a good amount of time and i'm sure atleast the thought of having sex will pass both their minds

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Originally posted by magilicuti

most of the time no, sexual tensions always gets the best of us. you put a man and a woman in a room for a good amount of time and i'm sure atleast the thought of having sex will pass both their minds

thanks for exemplifying my point...sheesh...

:goesbackhometoaworldwithoutprejudice:

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Yes. One in particular... he's been there for me through everything. I know he was interested at me in one point, but I'm not physically attracted to him at all (plus, I would never want to risk losing the friendship), so I explained how things were to him and he understands. We love each other, but I call him my big brother (the one I never had :) ) and it has been and always will be platonic.

Happy with her male friends,

~kitten >^.^<

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Originally posted by phatman

thanks for exemplifying my point...sheesh...

:goesbackhometoaworldwithoutprejudice:

i didn't even read your posts i was just answering the question of the thread.

its normal for a man and a woman to want to have sex. its just natural instinct. what's wrong with that? you act like just because you are friends with girls and don't think about fucking them that makes you a better person

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from personal experience it just doesn't work. i guess i'm not as lucky as some of the ppl here that look past sex but its not just sex its more then that. when you look for a relationship with a person you look for someone you can get along with and talk to, a friend. you would think a female/male friend would be a good choice for a companion. they say you marry your best friend, which should be true.

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...yes and no....

i dont believe that there can just be a friend relationship unless the guy or girl is busted and theres no attractions coming from both or either just one...i think that girls and guys obviously were meant to be intimate to some level..even if the girl and guy have never done anything that doesnt mean that there arent thoughts of lust or wanting it to be more...sometimes it gets said..and sometimes not ...and then in return will get rejected from the other person or its mutual on both sides that it will just be better to be friends because sex fucks alot of things up..or like someone said the other person is gay..but that depends on if they are bi or not..

this is a very simplistic issue if you asked me..

do i make sense or is it al mumbled?

CD

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Originally posted by phatman

through my experience - yes, it is possible - in fact, my bestest friend is my roommate who happens to be a girly girl. she is the shiznits and it is completely plutonic - i cant imagine not having her in my life and yet there is no physical attraction and the relationship does not impede our romantic relationships.

personally, i think it takes a specific type of person to accomplish this - i used to think it was age...cuz i'm an old fart..but now i realize it's about perspective and personality...and i'm not the only one that feels this way...i know plenty of opposite sex friendships...

I TOTALLY agree.

My best friend is like my brother - I've never had the slightest sexual pull to him... nuttin' but luv! :)

Now the other best friend who happened to become the boyfriend... that was different... here was an attraction there from the start! ;)

- meli -

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Originally posted by phatman

and that's what i call an ignorant statement...sorry...kown it's your birthday and all...

...let's see...i aint no queen and i'm friends with many a girls...guess i'm a freak...or no wait...maybe i can just get passed the bullshit and relate to women without thinking about fucking them...come on now...it's all about growth...

statements like that help perpetuate the stereotype that men can only think with their penis...

thought you were going to bed already..clearly you're not thinkin straight...

Getting a little touchy aren't we????

That statement I made was a joke, glad you got it. It would have been clearer if you continued to read the rest of my post explaining how I have a very close female friend that I never hooked up with. Considering that I am not gay there is reason to believe that my comment wasn't serious at all. Chill bro, you are getting a little too defensive.

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1) jon - read the whole thing but didnt think you were kidding - my misreading - sorry - i am extra sensitive on this issue though as my roommies' man has jealousy issues with our relationship - its all out of whack - understand it but dont like it

2) magilicuti - dont feel better than anyone on this board or in this world - just different...

3) here's the new stipulation to this whole thread i discovered last night after a long conversation with what else, a girl friend:

men and women can be best friends BUT it becomes more and more difficult if not impossible if one or both has a committed significant other in their lives (i.e. serious girlfriend/boyfriend, fiance, or husband/wife)

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like already said...yes&no...... i mean...when u r that close with someone...the question of LOVE comes into play...whether it be "LOVE" or"IN LOVE" blah blah blah..... but even if never followed through or if actions ARE taken...someone or both parties will at one point get "CONFUSED" ......... ugh...i hate this topic! LOL ....bottom line is to keep a clear head....and well..that never happens!!!!!

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Originally posted by phatman

men and women can be best friends BUT it becomes more and more difficult if not impossible if one or both has a committed significant other in their lives (i.e. serious girlfriend/boyfriend, fiance, or husband/wife)

That is sooo true. I have a lot of good male friends that I wouldn't want to be anything else than what they are. There is no sexual attraction whatsoever and I don't think they would ever be. Anyway, when it comes to best friends though... I think you can only have that kind of intense friendship as long as both friends are single. Once either of them finds THE ONE it his/her life, the position of the best friend tend (and should) change to the life time partner. Which doesn't mean that you ditch your friend....just the friendship needs to adjust and maybe change in the process.

Sorry...don't know if this makes any sense...it's too early on a Sunday and I'm still kind of sleepy...only my 2 cents. :)

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Yes, I do think that it's possible for males/females to have a strictly platonic relationship. My best friend is a male, and the idea of us ever having any sexual relationships has never crossed our minds. ewwy! I mean, he's even seen me naked a hundred and one times, but that's just because we're so close to each other. We talk to each other about everything. I guess in that way there's an advantage because I get to have a guy's perspective on things.

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Yes.......me and my "brother" Dan have been best friends since high school ::like 6 years already::

We went to Virginia for a week ::mind you 3 more guys and myself...kitten was placed in a bad position hehe growl:: and i slept with him those 7 days in the same bed. Absolutley nothing happened between me and him ::except for the occasional sheet steal::

Which proves it. ;)

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From my personal experience, men and women definatly can be good friends. There may be sexual tension at one point but if it isn't made a big deal and the two people can get past it, there isn't a problem. I have many more male friends than female friends, and rarely have an issue with them. They know I don't just hoe around with my male friends and give out 'favors' like that.

~Danielle

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