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some tips about oral and anal and every thing that has to do with sex!

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Guest gabo

What's the average size of the penis? What are the extremes?

According to the book Mandens Krop (which is translated from English, but does not give the original title) the average is 15cm and 90% are between 13 and 18cm.

The records for a fully functional penis are 1.5cm and 30cm.

Is penis size important?

This is probably one of the most frequently asked questions on alt.sex, and that's a shame, because it's really a pointless question. Penis size is important if and only if you think it is. If you have sex with men and you desire a large penis, then penis size is important to you, and only to you. If you feel your penis should be larger, then penis size is important to you, and only to you.

Many women report that too many men are hung up on the size of their penises. The vagina is only eight to thirteen centimeters long, and even a small penis can touch every square centimeter within the vagina.

Can penis size be increased?

Yes. There are two surgical procedures to increase penis size-- the Bihari Procedure, and Fat Injection.

The Bihari Procedure consists of cutting the ligament that secures the base of the penis to the body. This gives between one-half and two inches of increased length to the penis; however, because the penis is no longer anchored to the body an erection no longer points 'up.'

Fat Injection is the process of removing fat from the backs of the thighs and injecting it into the body of the penis to make the penis thicker. Because the body rejects a significant portion of the injection this procedure may need to be repeated several times and each operation carries with it a severe risk of infection.

How do I measure my penis?

According to Harold Reed, M.D., director of the Reed Centre for Ambulatory Urological Surgery in Bay Harbor, Florida, this is the correct way to measure the length of your penis:

First, while standing, get an erection. Okay, now gently angle your, er, equipment down until it is parallel to the floor. Set your ruler against your pubic bone just above the base of the penis, and measure to the tip. Thats how the doctors do it.

My penis bends down (or left, or right). Is there something wrong with it?

One-quarter of all penises bend in some direction and some bend downward even when erect. Unless the bend is severe or causes you pain, there is nothing wrong or abnormal about your penis. It should not interfere with sexual intercourse. Some people report that a downward-bending penis is easier to fellate.

In rare cases a condition called Peyrone's Syndrome can arise from childhood diseases. This condition is caused by scarring on one of the two corpora cavernosa within the penis, stunting its effectiveness during erection and causing the penis to bend almost 90 degrees in that direction. If you feel this may be the case, consult a urologist.

What is circumcision and why is it done?

Male circumcision is the surgical removal of the foreskin from the penis. When performed in a hospital, it is usually done shortly after birth by a doctor or midwife. Circumcisions are also given to Jewish boys by a mohel in a ceremony eight days after birth. Some Islamic boys are circumcised when they are older, around age 12. The majority of American boys are circumcised.

Common reasons for circumcision include: better hygiene, "normal" or "better" appearance, and "his penis should look like his father's." Common reasons against circumcision include: it is no longer necessary for hygienic reasons; it is a painful, barbaric practice; possibility of infection or surgical error; "normal" or "better" appearance; "his penis should look like his father's."; and "greater sensitivity of uncircumcised penis."

What are blue balls?

Blue Balls is a real condition! The "correct" term for blue balls is epididymitis, which is an inflammation of the epididymis.

In simple terms blue balls occurs when the epididymis get blocked up with sperm that have left the testis but not the penis. The vas deferns are the conduit for the sperm from the testis to the urethra. When they get blocked you get pain. Why blue balls and not "swollen balls," well maybe the connotation is that you balls have the "blues", or maybe its because with all that swelling some of the blood flow is restricted enough to cause some blueing of the area because of pooling blood.

Why is the prostate mentioned so often during discussions of anal sex?

The prostate is about the size of a walnut in a normal man, and is immediately behind the rectal wall about three centimeters inside the anus. It can be felt by placing one finger within the anus and feeling along the anterior wall for a round bulb. For some men, touching or rubbing this spot is extremely pleasurable; a rare few can even orgasm through this technique. Others report that the touch is painful or makes them feel as if they need to urinate.

The alt.sex FAQ on anal sex answers this question in more detail.

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The Alt.sex FAQ: First Intercourse

For both partners:

How do I have "good" sex?

What follows is not a set of rules. Rules about sex are impossible-- what should matter is that what you do makes you feel good. And "feeling good" should last past the sex itself-- you should not feel anxious afterwards about getting her pregnant or catching some horrible disease, so planning ahead about contraception and safe sex is part of the idea.

What time should we have sex?

When you have sex doesn't really matter. What should matter instead is that you and your partner have sex when you are both comfortable. Some people prefer to make love at the break of dawn, some in the afternoon sun, some in the darkness of night. More important than time of day is the time you have to spend. Give yourself a lot of time to have sex the first time. A weekend is ideal, but at least the whole day, including sleep time.

Should we eat or drink anything before sex?

Avoid eating a heavy meal, since that'll just make you sleepy. Eat light, don't drink too much alcohol, if any at all. It may help you shed inhibitions, but it may also make his erection much more difficult to achieve and you want to spend more time in the bedroom than the bathroom anyway, right?

Where should we have sex?

Where you have sex is probably a more important decision. Finding a place where you both can be private for up to forty-eight hours can be difficult at that age where most people are planning on losing their virginity. But it's worth it. Cars are no longer big enough to have sex in, and the outdoors has less privacy, bugs, sand, and pine needles.

A bed is probably the best thing to make love in, still. Hopefully you'll have a room to yourself, with all the amenities that a bedroom affords, including heat, comfort, space, and the bathroom. Take a shower together! If you're about to have sex, you've probably had your hands all over each other before now. Get to know each other's bodies. Take your time. That's what lovemaking is about.

What do we need to bring?

Bring what you need to make you comfortable. Birth control, condoms, maybe your favorite pillow or a bathrobe.

For her:

What do I do first?

You can't expect him to know what makes you feel good. You'll have to tell him or show him, and that may mean taking some of the initiative, taking his hands and placing them where they make you feel good. Go slow. If it's his first time, he may well be totally nervous about what you're about to do, and his penis may not respond at first. Patience, gentleness, and understanding are required to bring it back to life, and that may be hard for you to achieve, but that's why we told you to give yourselves lots of time.

Will it hurt?

You have probably heard horror stories about how much losing your virginity hurts. For a few women, it does, but with the right touch and the right partner, you should be able to take his penis into your body without pain. Have him take his time, use a lubricant, and press his fingers into you, opening you up slowly. Tell him when it feels good and when it hurts.

What position should I use?

Many women prefer to have sex the first time being on top, where they can control the first entry. Others want to be on the bottom and give their lovers that control. Choose what's best for you. Just remember to tell him to go slow, take your time, and if you feel the need, use a commercial lubricant like KY Jelly.

For him:

What if I can't get it up?

It may sound funny, but your penis, which has worked great for years, may suddenly go on strike at your first chance at "real" sex. That's natural-- you're nervous. Take a deep breath. Do something else for a while with your hands, your lips and your tongue. Try to forget about your anxiety, and your penis will respond. It's only a temporary thing.

Should I tell her if I'm a virgin?

Many men think that because they're men, they should be in charge of the sex, regardless of who has the more experience. If you're a virgin and she's not, tell her, and let her lead if she wishes. This is as much a learning experience as a loving one. Don't be afraid to confess the truth. A lot of women would rather know that your fumbling is inexperience, rather than just sheer ineptitude, and will gratefully show you the ways of the world.

Will we come at the same time?

Don't worry about making orgasm simultaneous, either. Some women do not orgasm during intercourse, and even if your girlfriend is capable of climax, the odds are very much against you coming at the same time. Enjoy yourself, and rely on her to tell you the truth when she's enjoying herself.

What if I orgasm too soon?

If you actually climax much too soon before you wanted to, take your time, take a nap, and try again. The second time you should be much more relaxed and ready to take your time-- so will your penis.

Am I big enough? Too big? The right shape?

Another common concern is size. The average penis is slightly more than five and a half inches in length when erect, and that's more than enough to hit every major nerve center in the vagina, the legendary G-spot included. The vagina is capable of stretching to take a large penis, or shape itself to pleasure a small one. Size has very little to do with your ability as a lover.

Another common issue is shape. Some men become concerned because their penis bends downwards, or to the left, and assume that because they never see men like them in erotic movies that they're not normal. Others worry that a downward bend will make sex difficult or painful because the vagina isn't shaped with that bend in mind.

Keep in mind that sex can be performed in any number of positions. The penis and vagina can be matched in many different ways, and each new position can bring new pleasures to you and your partner. Some people believe that a downward-bending penis is much easier to perform oral sex upon.

Will I be a good lover?

Being a good lover doesn't happen automatically. With the right partner, time, care, and practice, you have everything you need to become a great lover. Your first times, for both you, will be fumbling and awkward, but hopefully they'll be the start of great times for the rest of your lives.

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The Alt.sex FAQ: Better Sex!

It is perhaps a shame that while we live in one of the most advanced cultures in the world and yet know so little about how to make each other happy in that most human of all endeavors, sex. With a few small additions to your sexual vocabulary you can break out of boredom and lead happier, more satisfying sex lives. Here in this FAQ we'll look at three important additions to one's sex life: position, time, and location.

Sexual Positions

Man on top.

Everybody starts out in this so-called "missionary position": man on top, woman on the bottom, face-to-face. It's where we were when most of us lost our virginity. This position gets a lot of bad press these days because it's "old-fashioned," or perhaps because it's "patriarchal." Actually, there's nothing wrong with this position; it affords excellent support for thrusting, close intimate contact between lovers, and is an ideal position for conception. The woman may lie with her legs spread wide and to the sides, or may draw them up to her chest. In either position, the man cannot reach her vulva for manual stimulation although in the first he can reach her breasts.

A variation on this position is for the woman to sit in a chair or on the edge of a low bed, thus allowing the man to kneel on the floor for thrusting. For heavyset men it can reduce the weight he places upon his partner, and allows for both partners to reach their genitals. Although technically regarded as "superior" to traditional missionary position by many sex therapists, most people who actually have sex feel this position is less "intimate."

A third variant of man-on-top is one in which the woman lies on her stomach and the man penetrates her from behind. For many women, this position can stimulate the G-spot; however, it can also cause the penis to strike the cervix, causing pain. While this position has many of the disadvantages of any position where two people are not face-to-face, it is still popular with some couples.

Woman on top.

This position is highly recommended in the few "how to lose your virginity" manuals still lying around, mostly because it allows the woman to fully control the speed at which sex occurs. There are several different positions classified as "woman on top." The most common is that she straddles his hips, taking his penis inside her, and then lies atop him, either with her legs bent or stretched out. She may also choose to just sit straight up atop him, sliding up and down; this position is both visually stimulating for the man and allows him to play with her breasts freely.

Occassionally in adult movies one may see this position done with the woman facing away from her partner. While the sensations giving to both partners in this position are very different and may be very stimulating, most people feel the loss of intimacy involved is not worth the difference.

Sitting.

This position is for sex in slow motion; the angles are all wrong for any sort of vigorous thrusting. The man sits in a chair or cross-legged on the floor while the woman sits astride him, usually face-to-face although it can work equally well if she faces away. This position is good for caressing and intimacy. Some people recommend rocking chairs for this position.

Standing.

Reminiscent of "quickies" and illicit sex in alleyways, standing is actually one of the more complicated positions to achieve, at least face-to-face. Insertion can be difficult; standing, the vagina is not tilted forward for easy access. Since women are on average shorter than their male partners this position may require a short footstool or convenient staircase step to make it possible. At any rate, someone may want a friendly wall to hold both of them up during this act.

Another variant of standing is similar to the third one in man- on-top; the woman faces the wall or bookcase or whatever she's using to hold herself up and the man penetrates her vagina from behind. This position is considerably easier than face-to-face standing, and many people like it for it's "naughty" or "illicit" connotations.

Side-by-side

These positions all mirror the "on top" positions, except that the partners now lie on their sides on the bed. They can be achieved face-to-face, at an angle or from behind. The one difficulty with this position face-to-face is that someone has to rest their leg atop their partners; after only a few minutes this sometimes causes cramping and pain. Done when the woman faces away from the man, it can be slow, relaxing; one can almost fall asleep comfortably like this. In this position, it is known as "spooning." (The term applies mostly to the act of sleeping in that position, not necessarily the act of sex.)

Rear-entry

Although several positions already described can also be covered under this term, most people use this term to describe the position in which the woman kneels on her hands and knees while the man enters her from behind. Some people strongly dislike this position because of the lack of intimacy and the suggestion of male "dominance"; others like it for the freedom and strength that can be employed during the act of intercourse. The term "doggy style" has been employed to describe this position in the past, although this descriptive is inaccurate at best.

Time

When should we have sex?

When you have sex is a decision you will start to make only after you've gotten through the initial "all the time!" stage. Eventually, though, any person will develop a habit of making love with a certain pattern. Acquiring that pattern is the start of boredom; breaking that pattern can be the road to a new discovery.

If you and your partner are prone to making love only at night, try it for breakfast instead. Run home during lunch for a quickie. No time is more significant to lovemaking than any other, except that the time be good for both you and your partner.

Location

Where should we have sex?

In bed, to start with. Seriously, there is no "better" place to make love than a bed. It's designed to hold people lying down; it's even designed for them to be a little rambunctious.

However, like time of day, location can become boring with repetition. Moving your sex life into a different room can be as much of a change as night and day. For starters, try the living room; most have a couch. Spread a blanket on the floor, start a fire in the fireplace if you have one, feed each other small, intimate snacks like grapes and champagne, and enjoy. A quickie on the kitchen floor (so popular since Indecent Proposal) can be fun as well.

What about the shower?

The shower, as well as the swimming pool, have their disadvantages. For one thing, lubricant doesn't last very long in environments of such overwhelming volumes of water. For another, usually the only position available is standing, with all of the attendant problems of differences in height. Another common problem is that the floor of most bathtubs is very slippery, especially if you spill lubricant on it! However, it's frequently the only place other than the bedroom where both of you are likely to be comfortable and naked, especially in winter. Don't let all the "problems" listed here stop you from trying out what could become one of your favorite places to make love.

And outdoors?

Having sex outdoors has its own challenges and rewards. Many people feel that sex outdoors is closer to nature; others feel it is more illicit, "in full view of the whole sky." If you're going to have sex outdoors in any position other than standing, plan ahead of time to bring a blanket. Avoid using bug spray and sun block until afterwards-- both taste awful. On the other hand, sunburns on your genitals can be excrutiating; take care.

Caveat lover...

Having sex in strange places is a turn-on for many. How strange a place you want to make love is a matter of some concern of course, since outside of the privacy of your own home, having sex in full view is likely to arouse the interest of the local constabulary. Getting arrested for public indecency is likely to catch the attention of your employer as well. Plan any such dalliances in advance and scope out your intended rendezvous point for possible problems, interruptions, and routes of escape if necessary. And whatever you do, put your used condoms and wrappers in the trash can; stopping litter isn't just good citizenship, here's it's a matter of sheer good taste.

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Cunnilingus - Oral sex upon a vulva

What is cunnilingus?

Cunnilingus is the fine art of making love to a vagina with your mouth and tongue. It is a delicate skill, requiring patience, practice, and dedication to get it right, but any woman you learn to do it right for will appreciate you all the more for it.

What applies to the penis applies to the vulva-- every one is different, requiring a different touch to make its owner happy. But few tools can equal the tongue for the amount of pleasure it can deliver to a happy vagina.

This article assumes that you know what a vulva looks like and can identify with some precision the mons veneris, labia majora, clitoral hood, clitoris, labia minora, urethra, vagina, and perineum, to name them (approximately) from top to bottom.

How fast should I go?

This isn't an attack. Don't go after the clitoris like a fireman attacking a fire. Quite often at first, the clitoris is far too sensitive for direct stimulation. Lick around it, stimulating the hood, teasing her inner labia, tasting her. Take your time and listen to her. Some women make noise, and some do not. It will be a while before you learn exactly what your lover prefers as far as oral sex is concerned.

Some women may like additional stimulation-- a finger or two into the vagina, or perhaps even the anus. She may want your hands to reach up and play with her breasts, or she may want your fingers to hold her labia apart so that your tongue can get at her vulva more directly.

I've heard cunnilingus doesn't taste good.

If the taste or smell bothers you or is a concern, ask her to wash first. Most people who enjoy cunnilingus agree that a clean vagina is a good, if acquired, taste.

As a woman nears her climax, she may want more direct stimulation. In general, fast, rhythmic stimulation is most effective at causing climax-- but there shouldn't be a rush to get there. Take your time and learn to appreciate what you can do for her.

What about cunnilingus during menstruation?

Some people are particularly turned off at the suggestion of cunnilingus during menstruation. If it is a concern to you, then wait. A tampon may well hold the blood back, as will a diaphragm, but some men can't stand the taste anyway. If your partner is healthy, however, there is no particular danger in menstrual blood, and some women find that orgasms during their periods allievate cramps.

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Fellatio - Oral sex upon a penis

What is Fellatio?

Fellatio, giving head, giving a blow-job. Many men love this kind of stimulation, and many people, both women and men, like giving it. Fellatio is the act of applying your lips to a man's penis with the purpose of giving him pleasure.

There are few tips to fellatio that can be given other than practice. The lips and the tongue are the major sources of stimulation, and it is with the lips and tongue that you should apply the attention to make him feel good. Both men and women respond well to pressure and rhythm. A steady, strong stroke will be enough to get the reaction you're looking for.

What if it doesn't smell or taste good?

If the smell isn't something you enjoy, then tell him to go take a shower! While this is something you're doing primarily for his pleasure, that doesn't mean you have to suffer if he's lacking in hygiene! And if you're worried about germs, your mouth has millions more germs than a clean penis.

What is "deep throating?"

Deep throating is the act of taking the penis down past your gag reflex. In reality, this particular sexual adventure is very overrated. The best way to give fellatio is still with the lips and tongue, taking only as much as you can without gagging. However, for those that want to know, the basic lesson is still practice. Take the penis as far as you can without choking, and then close your eyes and concentrate, taking each quarter inch, telling yourself that you won't choke, that you can take it out at any time, and slowly swallow it down. Then rise off of it just as slowly.

Are there any special spots on the penis?

Every penis is different, and each has its sensitive spots and its preferred ways of being handled. Listen to your lover. The sounds he makes and the feel of his body tensing are your best clues that you're going this right.

Should I use my hands?

Feel free to grasp with your hands whatever of the penis you can't fit into your mouth. Many men like as much stimulation as possible, and the feel of a wet mouth and a saliva-slicked hand are enough to send them to the brink of orgasm very quickly.

What is 69?

Some people feel that the best position to perform oral sex is the 69 position, where each partner lies with their head by the other's genitals. For fellatio, this even makes sense-- most penises curve upwards, towards the head, and in this position that curve matches the curve of the throat. However, it is difficult to both perform and appreciate oral sex at the same time. Try the position, or kneel by his body, but at least in the beginning do one thing at a time.

My boyfriend wants me to swallow. What do I do?

Which brings us to a sensitive issue: swallowing ejaculate. For many men, this is important to them-- they like to feel that by swallowing their semen, you complete this act of lovemaking and accept a part of themselves into your body. But many people don't like the taste of semen and can't bring themselves. Talk about this beforehand-- let him know if you can't handle it, and that it's not personal.

Can I make my seminal fluids taste better?

Macrobiotic nutritionists have actually done research on this question, and the answer is in: you are what you eat. Common sense dictates that if you taste good, your lover will want to eat you more often, so improving your body's taste and smell should be important to you.

In general, nutritionsists say that alkaline-based foods such as meats and fish produce a butter, fish taste. Dairy products, which contain a high bacterial putrefaction level create the foulest tasting fluids by far. (Dissent: almost everyone I know says that there is one worse than a high-dairy content-- asparagus. You can't miss the taste of asparagus-laced semen.) Acidic fruits, such as sweets, fruits, and alcohol give bodily fluids a pleasant, sugary flavor. Chemically processed liquors will cause an extremely acidic taste, however, so if you're going to drink alcohol, drink high-quality, naturally fermented beers (Rolling Rock or Kirin) or sake.

What are the contents of semen?

The question of semen content arises especially among persons who regularly swallow semen, as in fellatio, and who are concerned about calorie intake and nutritional substances. The average ejaculate contains aboutonia, ascorbic acid, blood-group antigens, calcium, chlorine, cholesterol, choline, citric acid, creatine, deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA), fructose, glutathione, hyaluronidase, inositol, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, purine, pyrimidine, pyruvic acid, sodium, sorbitol, spermidine, spermine, urea, uric acid, vitamin B12, and zinc.

The caloric content of an average ejaculate is estimated to be approximately 15 calories.

A last word.

There is only one true way to do fellatio, and that's with enthusiasm. You have to love what you're doing to him, either because you love him or you love sucking cock. Loving both is best! Faked orgasms have nothing on lackluster fellatio.

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Anal Intercourse and Analingus

Why would anyone want to have anal sex?

For many people, anal sex is the ultimate taboo. Buttfucking makes it sound crude and dirty, sodomy sounds technical. In the 1990's, anal sex has been given the bad rap because HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, is most easily transmitted by anal intercourse.

But some people love anal sex. Others hate it. Others haven't tried it yet and are curious. And many people are attracted to it precisely because it's so taboo and mysterious.

What is analingus?

One other part of the body that some people enjoy licking, or having licked, is the anus. The anus has half the nerve endings in the pelvic region and many people find touching it to be sexually arousing. Although we haven't mentioned safer sex yet as part of this series, we will here: the anus and rectum carry many diseases that live quite benignly in your lower digestive tract, but which can be harmful in your mouth or stomach. Performing anilingus is a very risky behavior for a variety of bacterial infections. Refer to the section on safer sex techniques for ways to protect yourself if you or your partner enjoys this activity.

Does anal sex hurt?

Anal sex should not hurt. If it hurts, you're doing it wrong. With enough lubricant and enough patience, it's entirely possible to enjoy anal sex as a safe and fulfilling part of your sex life. However, some people may never like it, and if your lover is one of those people, respect their limits. Don't force the idea upon them.

Can anal sex actually give pleasure?

The pleasure of anal sex is derived from many things. Doing something "nasty" appeals to many people, especially about sex. Doing something different to spice up a sex life that has become something of a bore can be part of it. And the physical sensations available during anal sex are uniquely different from anything else. The rectum is lined with nerve endings, some of which signal the brain to 'reward' you with good feelings when stimulated. For men, the prostate gland can be a source of powerful pleasure. And for a thrusting penis, the ring of the anus can be a new and strong sensation to enjoy.

What do I need to have anal sex?

The most important pieces of advice anyone can give on anal sex are: lubricants, condoms, and patience. The most commonly available lubricant is KY-Jelly, a greaseless, odorless substance available at most drug stores. Better lubricants include Astroglide, ID, Wet, or ForePlay, some of which are available at better drug stores, and most of which are available in some form at adult toy stores.

Do not buy anything that is oil-based. Make sure the lubricant you buy is rated "condom compatible." Nothing else will do. Oil- based lubricants such as vaseline or baby oil will destroy a condom long before you're done having sex. And many oil-based sub- stances will coat the lining of the rectum, providing a haven for many potential infections.

Do I have to use a condom?

Even if you're sure that both you and your partner are disease- free, you should still use a condom. The rectum is home to lots of infectious bacteria that can cause burning and urethritis of the penis. It will also help you clean up afterwards.

I'm worried that anal sex will be messy.

Anal sex should not be messy. Most first-timers fear that it will be, but most people can tell when they have to go. A condom will help with cleanup, of course, and if you're really concerned, a commercial enema, like Fleet, will help beforehand.

How do we prepare for anal sex?

Patience is the third and final thing you need to make anal sex possible. Initial penetration is always the most difficult part of anal sex-- the anus is a tight ring of flesh at the opening of the rectum designed to control the elimination of bodily waste. It is partially under voluntary control, and partially reflexive to stimulation. Your partner has to relax, and you have to go slow to coax it into opening enough to recieve your penis.

Start with a well-lubricated finger or a slim (smaller than your penis) dildo. The dildo is more realistic, but your fingers can flex and feel what they're doing inside her ass. Slide one finger in slowly, letting her adjust to it. Take your finger all the way out, then push it back in again. Give her anus time to get used to this kind of activity. Then slide a second finger in. Consider how big your penis is and realize that two fingers is probably enough.

What position should we use for anal sex?

For actual intercourse, picking a position can be important. Many women want to be on top, to regulate how fast penetration occurs. Other like to lie on their stomachs, or crouch doggy-style, or to be penetrated while lying on their sides. Choose what's best before you start.

As always, control yourself. Take your time and use lots of lubricant. People who like anal sex say that "too much lube is almost enough." Listen to her-- if she tells you it starts to hurt, back off.

Eventually, a time will come during your lovemaking where her anus will relax enough to allow the head of your cock to 'pop' into her. If she is completely relaxed, that pop should feel completely painless. Now just because you're inside her is no reason to start pounding away like mad. Let her body adjust. Take your time. Eventually you will both be ready for more.

Can I get pregnant from anal sex?

It is not technically possible to get pregnant from anal sex; there is no way for semen to get from the rectal tract to the vaginal tract.

However, anal sex is still not a very good method of birth control. Semen leaking from the anus after intercourse may drip across the perineum (the short stretch of skin separating vulva and anus) and cause what is known as a 'splash' conception. The failure rate for this is surprisingly high! 8% of couples of who use anal sex as a method of birth control have babies each year.

What if I don't like it?

You may find that anal sex just isn't for you. That's fine. Nothing says that you have to indulge in something that doesn't make you feel good.

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Toys for the Bedroom (And Other Places)

What is a "sex toy?"

In theory, almost anything can take the role of a "sex toy." Other than two human bodies, anything else introduced into sex play qualifies as either prophylaxis (contraception and disease prevention) or recreation, i.e., a toy. For our purposes, a sex toy is any object brought into sex play to enhance the pleasure of both people involved.

There was some debate as to the question "what is a sex toy?" for the purposes of this FAQ. Some argued that this FAQ should cover those items that are only specifically for sex, whereas others rightly pointed out that that would exclude from discussion some very popular forms of sexual enhancement such as lingere' or food. For our purposes, a sex toy will be anything that is either specifically intended for sexual enhancement or commonly used for same. We're sure there are people out there that find mountain goats, hand puppets, and Un*x System Administration manuals suitable for sexual enhancement, but that's not "common."

THE VIBRATOR.

What kinds of vibrators are there?

Vibrators come in three distinct 'types'. Many women find satisfaction in this most common (and more often thought of), the classic penis-shaped, battery powered shaft of plastic. These suffer, however, from a lack of real power and inconvenient battery death.

The second type of vibrator, the 'wand' vibrator, overcomes these problems with wall current. These large, club-shaped vibrators provide LOTS of stimulation, and wall current provides all the power you could ask for, but the designers apparently intended for people not to view these things as sex toys, but as "personal massagers," and the ungainliness of these things reflects that.

The third type of vibrator, the 'handle' or 'coil' type, looks vaguely like a small hairdryer with a small, perpendicular shaft out of the thicker end to accommodate a variety of soft plastic or latex heads. The best of all possible worlds, these vibrators never die, fit in one hand, and can provide a variety of sensations.

Shower Massagers make a wonderful variation on the classic vibrator, and if you enjoy the warmth and wetness of the tub, you probably want to consider investing in a shower massager. Like the wand and handle vibrators, shower massagers have a host of uses beyond masturbation, too!

Where do I go to buy a vibrator?

Don't make buying a vibrator a traumatizing experience. If you MUST have one of those penis-shaped things, most lingerie shops carry them. But most department stores sell the 'wand' or 'handle' vibrators under the guise of "personal massagers," and buying one from reputable department stores means a warranty, you can return it if unsatisfied, and it won't have "Doc Johnson's Love Machine" emblazoned across it in pink letters in case mother comes to visit.

What should I know about using a vibrator?

Before using any mechanical vibrator, apply lubrication! Your lover probably does not rank friction burns in the same category as love bites. Use a water-based lubricant, such as K-Y (always recommended), Astroglide, or Wet.

Are there any kinds of vibrators I should avoid?

Do not purchase a vibrator specifically designed to deliver heat to the body as a sexual device. If they work on muscles, great, but don't use them on your cunts and cocks. I know of at least one case where a woman burned herself with one of these things because her climaxes were so strong she didn't notice how much the heater had burned her.

My girlfriend and I have never used a vibrator. What should I know?

Nobody knows how to masturbate YOU better than you do, and the same rule applies to everybody else. Don't use a vibrator on someone else until you've watched them use it on themselves, preferably several times. Men, especially, should watch how their girlfriends or wives use the vibrator alone before taking the reins.

Can I be replaced by a vibrator?

No mechanical piece of plastic can replace the love and affection of a human being; try to see the vibrator as just another toy, and not as competition. Vibrators cannot do the dishes or take out the garbage, and they cannot gives hugs or kisses.

Do vibrators cause a woman to become less sensitive?

Some women do experience a temporary 'desensitization' after the effects of a powerful vibrator, but put the toy away for a week and sensitivity returns to normal. There is no clinical evidence that vibrators cause long-term desensitization.

A final word on vibrators.

Should you buy a vibrator? That's a decision only you can make; I personally have bought two for my wife, and a shower massage, and they've made our sex life a whole lot better, not worse. As always, your mileage may vary.

THE DILDO.

What is a dildo?

Dildo: An artifical substitute for an erect penis

(Websters')

Dildos come in many different shapes and sizes, but all of them are meant to do one thing: in some way, shape, or form, they are meant to be a substitute or symbol for a real penis. If you are inclined to believe Freud, then the Washington Monument could be considered a dildo. For our purposes, though, a dildo is a sex toy, usually made of latex or silicone, designed to be inserted into some bodily orifice for sexual pleasure.

People use dildos for a variety of purposes. Although most women can orgasm through clitoral stimulation, many do enjoy the feeling of something hard and thrusting inside them during masturbation. Many men, gay or otherwise, feel the same way, using small (or as your tastes go, large) dildos for anal stimulation. A dildo can be used with a harness to give a woman a penis she can thrust with and still keep her hands free.

What should I look for in buying a dildo?

Buying a dildo involves a number of factors, such as length, thickness, hardness and texture. It is strongly recommended that you comparison shop with your hands, looking for one with a smooth surface made of a firm, but not too firm, latex. Dildo shopping is a very personal activity, and you should take your time buying one.

The two most common materials for a dildo are silicone and latex. Silicone is usually more expensive, but most people who use dildos regularly agree that its qualities of matching body temperature and its general texture make it the superior material. As with anything, you get what you pay for.

The most important thing to remember is that you should start small. Buy dildos you *know* you can probably handle, rather than ones you hope to be able to handle. Get your money's worth out of any toy you buy.

BUTT PLUGS

What is a "butt plug?"

A butt plug is a kind of dildo with a bulge in the center, much like a spindle, so that the shaft gradually thickens, flares out, and then begins to narrow again.

In general, once inside the rectal cavity, the flare of a well- chosen buttplug will rub directly against those nerve clusters by the opening of the anus, the ones which signal your need to defecate. Depending upon how your brain is wired, denying or understanding this signal can be a very pleasurable experience, or an extremely uncomfortable one. Also, the 'tip' of the well-chosen buttplug will rub against a man's prostate when he moves, sending yet more signals of unknown quality to the brain. It's all in what you like.

What variants of the butt-plug are there?

Other forms of "butt-plugs" are known as doorknobs or pearlstrings. A doorknob is a round sphere of latex mounted on a narrower shaft. Like a buttplug, it 'plugs' the orifice, but the sensations are different. A pearlstring is a series of spheres that can be anywhere from a half inch to three inches in diameter that you use to 'stuff' the rectum to create a feeling of fullness.

COCK RINGS

What is a cock ring?

A cock ring is an object that typically goes around the base of both the penis and scrotum. Since veins are closer to the surface of the skin than arteries, this has the effect of allowing blood to flow into the penis but restricts its ability to flow outwards. In turn, this makes the penis get hard and stay hard for longer. Obviously, for this to work a cock ring must be put on when the penis is unerect.

Most cock rings are made of chromed steel or rubber. In fact, most of them are little more than high-priced gasket rings or chrome- plated circular chain links one could buy at any hardware store. They have to be chosen carefully, sized for the user. A too-loose cock ring does nothing, a too-tight cock ring cuts off all retreating blood flow, thus preventing the cock from ever getting soft, which may sound like fun but can become painful after two or more hours, and which may require a trip to the emergency room to remove. Some cock rings that get around this problem are made with snaps at different places along a strap of leather, therefore making it easy to size and to remove.

The best cock rings are even simpler. They're a piece of leather or soft rope tied into place. (7oz leather lace is the author's favorite, followed by 1/4" nylon rope.) Being both infinitely adjustable and easy to remove or cut off with a pair of nurses shears, they serve all the purpose of the toy- or hardware- store bought models.

How do you put on a cock ring?

Putting on a solid cock ring can be tricky-- and taking it off can be even trickier! You have to be soft to do either, putting first your testicles through the ring, and then your penis, since at that stage your penis should be softer and more flexible than the always- solid testes. Taking it off is the reverse process, but since one of the purposes of a cock ring is to keep you hard, this can be easier said than done.

"SPANISH FLY"

What is Spanish Fly?

Spanish fly is a powder of ground up wings of the CANTHARIS VESICATORIA beetle, found in the deserts of Spain and the Southwest United States. It has the effect of irritating the outer mucous membranes of the vagina and the penis glans (head), thus bringing your genitals to your attention and sometimes giving you the impression that you are 'aroused.' Women may also experience lubrication as a response to this irritation. However, the body is not actually stimulated, and intercourse is probably painful under these conditions, although it may sometimes help to scratch what really *is* an itch, and not desire.

Spanish fly is also quite poisonous, and therefore illegal in the United States. Dosage is very hard to determine, as is quality, and you're just as likely to die from Spanish fly as you are to get laid.

What is the "Spanish Fly" sold in America?

What is sold as "spanish fly" in the United States is usually sold with the terms "spurious" or "placebo." I suggest you go look these words up before buying anything with these words on the package. Most "Spanish Fly" is nothing more than a cheap blend of vitamins or simply a sugar pill.

LUBRICANTS

What is meant by "lubricant?"

A "lubricant," (sometimes referred to as a "sex lube," or just "lube,") is usually a water-based, condom-friendly liquid or jelly used to enhance or replace a woman's natural lubrication. Some people regard lubricants as a must-have item in this age of safer sex and they are an essential ingrediant to successful anal intercourse. The use of a lubricant on the inside of a condom can make the sensations delivered to the penis much stronger.

Prior to the current, safer-sex era, many people used oil-based lubricants, using vaseline or mineral oil. Neither of these are particularly healthy; petroleum-based oils destroy latex upon contact, making them useless for use with condoms. Oils also coat the inside of the vagina and rectum, providing a breeding ground for dangerous bacteria. Even monogamous couples who don't have to worry about safer sex should avoid using oils for this reason, as well as one other: if it destroys the latex of condoms, it will also destroy the latex of diaphragms, cervical caps, and sponges, as well as the protective coatings around some IUDs.

So, what are they made of?

Most lubricants are made up of one or (more commonly) several of the following: glycerin, hydroxyethyl cellulose, or propelyene glycol. Some add aloe vera or vitamin E acetate. All add a pH balancing agent, and most have some sort of preservative, since the first three items are all essentially food additives, "thickening agents." Look at a container of Slime in a toy store-- the same three primary ingredients.

What brands are there?

Although the most common brand of sex lubricant is still "KY Jelly," you should be aware that KY is intended for single-use medical environments; the insertion of a thermometer or catheter, for example, and is deliberately forumlated to break down quickly. This is not good for situations where the lubricant is expected to last a long time, such as during intercourse.

The names of other common brands are: Wet, ForPlay, ID, Slip, Probe, Pride, Aqualube, Astroglide, and Elbow Grease. Both Wet and Elbow Grease also make oil-based lubricants "for masturbation purposes only," so read the label carefully before you buy. These are just a few of many lubricants on the market.

Which is best?

"Best lubricant" is a non-sequitor, since lubricant choice is as personal to taste as food. Some people like it thick, others runny, others need it to be slick enough to grease their engines and others need it to last long enough to go for hours. Small sampler bottles (1 oz.) are available for a dollar apiece-- buy one of each and try them out. Figure out which one you like best.

CLOTHING

Is clothing a "sex toy?"

There is some debate about this, but one thing is hard to deny: clothing is sexy. Whether it's a silk nightgown from Victoria's Secret, a military uniform, the leather jacket of a biker or the riding clothes of an equestrienne, some form of clothing is usually someone else's ideal of "sexy clothing."

What is "Fetish Clothing?"

Fetish wear is usually clothing made of leather, latex, or rubber cut in a specific style to accentuate the body and show it off in a sexually arousing fashion. Fetish wear is a specific genre of clothing and as recognizable as such as swimwear or lingere. Fetish wear's most common characteristic is price; the stuff's expensive. Remember that it is only a fad, after all, and will be as out of style as the discowear of the 1970's. Eventually.

So what *is* sexy clothing?

That depends entirely on who you and your lover are. If you like your lover to wear silk, say so-- hopefully they'll enjoy the suggestion. Leather, denim, uniform clothing-- allow your imagination to run wild. A more outrageous suggestion is period clothing, such as the 1920's, or the 1400's. And even further out, one could suggest wearing masks to allow fantasy to run riot-- animal masks are a popular item in this field.

FOOD

Food is sexy?

Many lingere shops actively sell food items-- whipped cream, powdered honey, flavored jellies and jams. I guess the idea is that if they're sold in lingere shops they must be sexy. Many romances start over dinner, and cooking for someone can be as intimate, or as traumatic, as having sex with them.

What kinds of food are sexy?

While almost any kind of food can be sexy, some are more traditional than others. Sweets, such as chocolates, are actual tokens of affection, exchanged on Saint Valentine's day as well as other occassions. In the bedroom, chocolate can be spread on the body and licked off. The same is true of honey or any other spreadable substance. Whipped cream is another popular food item. And a small spill of champagne over the vulva can take care of any concerns one might have about the taste-- for a little while, at least.

Fruits can be sexual as well-- bananas are often compared to penises (or the other way around) because of their shape and size. Xaveria Hollander, "The happy hooker," once referred to peaches as "the fruit that looks most like a woman's vulva." And grapes, fed one at a time, are a staple of B-movies about decadent, imperial Romans.

Almost anything edible can be sexy. At least two movies in recent times have depicted sushi as sexy. Placing doughnuts around a man's erect penis and then eating them off can be an act of trust.

Be aware that any sugary substance placed into the vagina will vastly increase the chance of a yeast infection. It is best to avoid getting chocolate, honey, and the like into the vagina.

Drugs

Disclaimer: Nothing in this FAQ is intended to be taken as a recommendation or endorsement of illegal substance use. It is the intention of this FAQ to accurately report the effects of those substances that its readers may choose to use upon their sexual functioning, both positive and negative.

Alcohol.

The only "legal" drug in this short list of mind-altering chemicals, alcohol is widely available in most of the known world. Alcohol is primarily a depressant, although it small doses it may cause free-association that leads to violence where hostility already exists. Alcohol is used in a sexual context to "loosen one up," overcoming inhibitions to proceed to the sexual act itself; however, it's depressant effect may also cause temporary impotence.

Amyl Nitrite.

Also known as "poppers," "Rush," "Locker Room," or "Head Cleaner." Currenly controlled in the US, although designer variants of butyl nitrite, isobutyl nitrite, and cyclohexyl nitrite are still available in some states. This drug relaxes the smooth muscles of the vascular system, resulting in a momentary "rush" that is primarly the result of oxygen depravation to the brain. Also relaxes the vaginal and anal sphincters and was once popular with gay men for that effect. Produces intense headaches in about a quarter of all users.

Cocaine.

Sex on cocaine is frequently described as "the most intense in the world." (Of course, that's said about crystal methamphetamine, too.) Cocaine elevates the perceived effect of arousal, both male and female. Depression is a common post-high effect. Chronic use leads to full-blown paranoia, psychological dependancy, and impotence.

Marijuana.

There is a lot of controversy over marijuana, and has been touted as "the most powerful aphrodisiac in the world." But neither marijuana nor any other drug will create passion where there is none to begin with. Many people who have used marijuana during sex have reported enhanced sensations, longer durations, and increased arousal. However, marijuana may also make sex more difficult because of its tranquilizing effect.

LSD-25.

Lysergic Acid Diethylamide. A powerful psychedelic, most people who have tried to have sex under the influence of LSD have stated that their nervous systems were far too overloaded with basic sensations to try and engage in anything as complex as sex. For those who have succeeded, however, the effect as with all LSD experiences-- depending on setting and preconceptions about the experience, it can be exhilirating or terrifying.

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Guest gabo
Originally posted by xxlea

WTF???!?!?!?!?!

Are we going to get tested on this??? If so then I'll read the whole thing :tongue:

no, not tested but it has some good info I thought some of you might be interested in reading...

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Definitely some very interesting points and it gets an even bigger plus as it is in an informative and objective way...no, "oh yeah that is soooo great and I'm soo good at this or that.."...not that this is too bad (from time to time) - it can just get boring too.

So, thanks gabo, nice one :)

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Guest gabo
Originally posted by flying_high

Definitely some very interesting points and it gets an even bigger plus as it is in an informative and objective way...no, "oh yeah that is soooo great and I'm soo good at this or that.."...not that this is too bad (from time to time) - it can just get boring too.

So, thanks gabo, nice one :)

you're welcome.

I had it sticky so more people could read it and someone took it off............. no pizza for her!

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Guest gabo
Originally posted by romy20

the average penis is 5 inches?!??!?!? whattttttttttttt:eek:

I should have put all the good satuff like oral, positions, anal, and other good stuff first. when people click on it they think it's all about dick. fuck it, Ill make it sticky again

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Guest gabo
Originally posted by vision

dr gabo westinheimer is now available for one on one and partner consulatation

just call 1 877 mesohorny.com for an appoinment

no no no... it's a toll free number... 1-800 mesohorny

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FOOD

Food is sexy?

Many lingere shops actively sell food items-- whipped cream, powdered honey, flavored jellies and jams. I guess the idea is that if they're sold in lingere shops they must be sexy. Many romances start over dinner, and cooking for someone can be as intimate, or as traumatic, as having sex with them.

What kinds of food are sexy?

While almost any kind of food can be sexy, some are more traditional than others. Sweets, such as chocolates, are actual tokens of affection, exchanged on Saint Valentine's day as well as other occassions. In the bedroom, chocolate can be spread on the body and licked off. The same is true of honey or any other spreadable substance. Whipped cream is another popular food item. And a small spill of champagne over the vulva can take care of any concerns one might have about the taste-- for a little while, at least.

Drugs

Alcohol. *DEF* :pint:

The only "legal" drug in this short list of mind-altering chemicals, alcohol is widely available in most of the known world. Alcohol is primarily a depressant, although it small doses it may cause free-association that leads to violence where hostility already exists. Alcohol is used in a sexual context to "loosen one up," overcoming inhibitions to proceed to the sexual act itself; however, it's depressant effect may also cause temporary impotence.

*I need to try this some day*:laugh:Cocaine.

Sex on cocaine is frequently described as "the most intense in the world." (Of course, that's said about crystal methamphetamine, too.) Cocaine elevates the perceived effect of arousal, both male and female. Depression is a common post-high effect. Chronic use leads to full-blown paranoia, psychological dependancy, and impotence.

Marijuana.

There is a lot of controversy over marijuana, and has been touted as "the most powerful aphrodisiac in the world." But neither marijuana nor any other drug will create passion where there is none to begin with. Many people who have used marijuana during sex have reported enhanced sensations, longer durations, and increased arousal. However, marijuana may also make sex more difficult because of its tranquilizing effect. :drool:

INTERESTING!!!

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Guest gabo
no new info here for me, this stuff all seems very um, obvious? :biggrin:

teach me something i don't already know gabo! i know you've gotta have something in that bag of tricks!!!!! ;)

Ill teach you how to keep ur yap shut.... to the moon alice!

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