Jump to content
Clubplanet Nightlife Community
Sign in to follow this  

In Memory...Bill "Funny Man" Hicks

Recommended Posts

Born in 1961, He died of pancreatic cancer at 32. He left in his wake a legacy of biting criticisms against American society: no inadequacy or hypocrisy was immune to his scathing satires, but don't take my word for it. For Christ sakes, if anyone demands our undivided attention, it's Bill Hicks.

December 16, 1961 -- February 26, 1994

A few quotes from the Late Bill Hicks!

"George Bush says 'we are losing the war on drugs'. Well you know what that implies? There's a war going on, and people on drugs are winning it! Well what does that tell you about drugs? Some smart, creative motherfuckers on that side."

Television Commercials:

"Supreme Court says pornography is anything without artistic merit that causes sexual thoughts. No artistic merit, causes sexual thoughts. Hmmm . . . sounds like every commercial on TV doesn't it?"

The Kennedy Assassination:

"People come up to me: 'Bill, quit talking about Kennedy man . . . It was a long time ago . . .' And I'm like alright, then don't bring up Jesus to me. As long as we're talking about shelf life here."

Annoying Non-Smokers:

"The worst kind of non-smokers are the ones that come up to you and cough. That's pretty fucking cruel isn't it? Do you go up to cripples and dance too?"


"One of my big fears in life is that I'm going to die and my parents are going to have to clear out my apartment and find the porno wing I've been adding to for years. There'll be two funerals that day."


"A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. Do you think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to look at a fucking cross? It's kinda like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on."

The Gulf War:

"They said the Iraqis had the fourth largest army in the world. Well, the Hare Krishnas are the fifth largest and they've already got our airports."


"By the way, if anyone here is in advertising or marketing, kill yourself. No, this is not a joke: kill yourself . . . I know what the marketing people are thinking now too: 'Oh. He's going for that anti-marketing dollar. That's a good market.' Oh man, I am not doing that, you fucking evil scumbags."


"If the FBI's motivating factor for busting down the Koresh compound was child abuse, how come we never see Bradley tanks smashing into Catholic churches?"

The Pope:

"I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action folks! You know he's got God on his side."

The Military:

"Gays in the military . . . here's how I feel about it, alright? Anyone . . . DUMB enough . . . to want to be in the military, should be allowed in. End of fucking story. That should be the only requirement."

Share this post

Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

Sign in to follow this