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nautilus60

Pathetic or not?

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...To go to clubs by yourslef. I noticed that lately i've been doing this more and more, since most of my friends are busy, poor or just lame(i.e. not into the scene). Everytime i go i have a blast, because i am there to listen to the music and dance and not to socialize. So, what do y'all think?

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i dont think its pathetic, and i know some people that have also done it. when i first moved to NY i didnt know anyopne there, but still wanted to go out to some of the clubs (i didnt know of CP back then) so i went by myslef. even after i met some peopel and went out with them from time to time, sometimes either i wanted to go somehere they didnt, or vv, or our schedules didnt allow it, so i went solo.

the good thing of going solo is that you decide where to go, at what time to get there, what time to leave with out having to worry if your leaving someone behind 'cos theyre passed out, wait for someone when they are late, etc. etc...or deciding om where to go.

some of my best nights out were solo adventures.

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and I have gone to Buzz solo, liek before meeting all the CP crew, and would still go solo if there is a place I really want to go and no one else is interested.

also by going solo you can meet more people, at least sometimes I do so, and its weird, 'cos almost everytime I go any where clubwise or music wise here, I find someone I know.

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I've done it a couple of times here in DC when I first moved here. And when I went to Europe - I traveled alone - so all of my adventures were solo. It makes me nervous, though. I'm super paranoid about someone finding out I'm there alone and spiking my drink or following me home or something. Byproduct of being a Criminologist, I guess. Now, here in DC I would do it - but only because chances are I will know someone there. Anyway, I dont' think it is pathetic and if I were a guy I would probably do it no problem!

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the good thing of going solo is that you decide where to go, at what time to get there, what time to leave with out having to worry if your leaving someone behind 'cos theyre passed out, wait for someone when they are late, etc. etc...or deciding om where to go.

This is definetely one of the reasons i like to go out by myself. Cause whenever u get a big group together, things do not go exactly as planned, which pisses me off, cause i am kinda anal about my planning.

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Originally posted by nautilus60

the good thing of going solo is that you decide where to go, at what time to get there, what time to leave with out having to worry if your leaving someone behind 'cos theyre passed out, wait for someone when they are late, etc. etc...or deciding om where to go.

This is definetely one of the reasons i like to go out by myself. Cause whenever u get a big group together, things do not go exactly as planned, which pisses me off, cause i am kinda anal about my planning.

yup, the easiest thing is to tell people to just show up at the club, but yup, it also happens that they say they are going to show up and then end up staying home watching sportscenter until 5am, and they tell you that like 3 days later :mad:

i've ventually stopped hanging out with a few "friends" rthat were notorious for pulling stunts like that. fortunately most, if not all, of us here are pretty good with showing up and showing up in time.

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i think that going out alone is cool. how many times have you tried to organize a group of people going out together-only to have 15 little drama's develop over it? dc is such a small town/big city, that unless you go somewhere way off the beaten path, you are bound to run into someone you know (of course-this isnt ALWAYS a good thing...)

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i've been drugged and a number of my girlfriends have been as well. it sucks, but being a female is a whole 'nother story. plus my sister-in-law's a rape counselor. i'm all about being paranoid. it pays off. so if i were to go by myself, and i have, i stay totally sober and have a bouncer walk me to my car etc. all you men out there, go for it. definitely not lame.

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Originally posted by nourishment

i've been drugged and a number of my girlfriends have been as well. it sucks, but being a female is a whole 'nother story. plus my sister-in-law's a rape counselor. i'm all about being paranoid. it pays off. so if i were to go by myself, and i have, i stay totally sober and have a bouncer walk me to my car etc. all you men out there, go for it. definitely not lame.

Jesus, that's fucked up. It's nice not to worry about someone putting something in my drink or any of that kind of shit. Lately if I attempt to go solo there's a chance that I'll run into people I know but I am forced to go solo sometimes these days because my friends suck. They suuuuuuuck. Fuck them.

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Originally posted by Kuro

Jesus, that's fucked up. It's nice not to worry about someone putting something in my drink or any of that kind of shit. Lately if I attempt to go solo there's a chance that I'll run into people I know but I am forced to go solo sometimes these days because my friends suck. They suuuuuuuck. Fuck them.

well you know it also happens much more frequently than what one would think it would with men. true, and no i'm not talking only in gay clubs.

one job that i applied for was to be a res. assistant in a study funded by NIDA that was being managed by the psychology dept. at NYU and even thoughthe main focus of their study was seeing drug use among gay men at clubs and the increase in sexual risk taking (i.e. having sex w/o condoms etc.) they aslo wanted to see cases of rape reported by males (gay and non-gay) so I read up on the subject of drug use, gay men, clubs and all that stuiff and was surprised of the amount of rape cases reported men (gay or straight).

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I love going out alone. I solo'd to Dragonfly last week and met lot's of cool people, then we all partied at 18 St Lounge. I also went to Camelot and had lot's of fun by myself. I usually find I can do alot more by myself than with someone. I get annoyed very easily too.

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Originally posted by nourishment

i've been drugged and a number of my girlfriends have been as well. it sucks, but being a female is a whole 'nother story. plus my sister-in-law's a rape counselor. i'm all about being paranoid. it pays off. so if i were to go by myself, and i have, i stay totally sober and have a bouncer walk me to my car etc. all you men out there, go for it. definitely not lame.

Thats so wrong to do to someone. I just wish I could find some sorry motherfucker spiking a girls drink! That shit just pisses me off thinking about it. I hate these guys that try, or do that shit to girls, they are the absolute lowest scum on the earth and need to be castrated and hung from a gallow in the DC mall for all to see and walk by with a stick and whack the fucker as he spins around like pinata!

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Originally posted by vicman

well you know it also happens much more frequently than what one would think it would with men. true, and no i'm not talking only in gay clubs.

one job that i applied for was to be a res. assistant in a study funded by NIDA that was being managed by the psychology dept. at NYU and even thoughthe main focus of their study was seeing drug use among gay men at clubs and the increase in sexual risk taking (i.e. having sex w/o condoms etc.) they aslo wanted to see cases of rape reported by males (gay and non-gay) so I read up on the subject of drug use, gay men, clubs and all that stuiff and was surprised of the amount of rape cases reported men (gay or straight).

One of my friends at Penn State specializes in the area of male sexual abuse. She says that current statistics drastically understimate the rate of sexual abuse and rape in boys and men. Undereporting combined with a lack of sensitivity on the part of the Criminal Justice System AND the reluctance of prosectors to follow up on these types of cases means that our official measures do not in any way shape or form reflect reality. Crazy, huh? Especially considering the fact that stopping male sexual abuse may help stop the cycle of abuse in general - as many rapists were once abused themselves.

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I don't think its pathetic. I've been to Buzz before by myself (in the old days when I only had one or two clubbing buddies and they were too tired to go out). It was fun those days...the vibe was better, more tiny circles going, and just generally more smiles on peoples' faces!

On the note of spiking drinks...ppl who do that are the lowest trash on earth (along with terrorists who blow up innocent ppl)!

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Originally posted by raver_mania

I don't think its pathetic. I've been to Buzz before by myself (in the old days when I only had one or two clubbing buddies and they were too tired to go out). It was fun those days...the vibe was better, more tiny circles going, and just generally more smiles on peoples' faces!

i can imagine there was more space to dance :(

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Originally posted by vicman

well you know it also happens much more frequently than what one would think it would with men. true, and no i'm not talking only in gay clubs.

one job that i applied for was to be a res. assistant in a study funded by NIDA that was being managed by the psychology dept. at NYU and even thoughthe main focus of their study was seeing drug use among gay men at clubs and the increase in sexual risk taking (i.e. having sex w/o condoms etc.) they aslo wanted to see cases of rape reported by males (gay and non-gay) so I read up on the subject of drug use, gay men, clubs and all that stuiff and was surprised of the amount of rape cases reported men (gay or straight).

That's something to think about, especially in light of the fact that I'm pretty sure I was groped by a guy at Buzz recently. That's why I don't do K. The last thing you want is to come out of a K-hole and realize there's a dick in your mouth. Two more posts to go.

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sometimes i'm glad i'm not a girl. besides the advantage being able to pee while standing up-guys dont have to put up with half of the shit girls do. what kinda sick fuck spikes somebody's drink hoping to 'get some'?

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like i said, my sisiter-in-law is a rape counselor. what i failed to mention is that she lives/works in the norfolk area...ie the largest naval base on the planet. i am always surprised by what she tells me, although i shouldn't be, i suppose. she told me that when some of the larger ships come back to port, they have to double their staff on the phone lines. you get the typical guy who comes home to find his girlfriend/wife is ending their relationship and he does her to prove a point. but...and here's the kicker...they get just as many calls from guys that have been worked over by their roommates on the ship. sure, if these poor guys report the abuse, there will be an investigation, but then everyone on the whole ship will know about it, and the accused and accuser are not separated at all, they still have to leave, eat, sleep and work together. so my sister tells me that they are told to give these guys some unusual (in my opinion) advice. they are told to "do it back".

that's right, if you've been sodomized by your bunkmate, do it back, show him who's boss and maybe he'll leave you alone and nobody will ever have to know your ugly little secret.

now that shit is fucked up. sounds worse than an episode of oz to me.

my point here is just to say that the world has some nastiness to it that i can neither fathom nor comprhend, but make good decisions, keep your eyes open and be nice to people.

and go out by yourself once in a while - it's liberating.

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Originally posted by nourishment

like i said, my sisiter-in-law is a rape counselor. what i failed to mention is that she lives/works in the norfolk area...ie the largest naval base on the planet. i am always surprised by what she tells me, although i shouldn't be, i suppose. she told me that when some of the larger ships come back to port, they have to double their staff on the phone lines. you get the typical guy who comes home to find his girlfriend/wife is ending their relationship and he does her to prove a point. but...and here's the kicker...they get just as many calls from guys that have been worked over by their roommates on the ship. sure, if these poor guys report the abuse, there will be an investigation, but then everyone on the whole ship will know about it, and the accused and accuser are not separated at all, they still have to leave, eat, sleep and work together. so my sister tells me that they are told to give these guys some unusual (in my opinion) advice. they are told to "do it back".

that's right, if you've been sodomized by your bunkmate, do it back, show him who's boss and maybe he'll leave you alone and nobody will ever have to know your ugly little secret.

now that shit is fucked up. sounds worse than an episode of oz to me.

my point here is just to say that the world has some nastiness to it that i can neither fathom nor comprhend, but make good decisions, keep your eyes open and be nice to people.

and go out by yourself once in a while - it's liberating.

yeah, apparently that sort of stuff goes on alot in the military but rarely does it get the attention it deserves. just imagine the countless cases that could go unreported when a superior officer does that shit to some one of lower rank...what the hell is the person of lower rank supposed to do?

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this is a good topic. i'm in a situation where i'm in dallas for a while where most (wait, ALL) of my buds here are not into the scene. i had a huge debate w/ myself whether or not to go see d:fuse here by myself a few weeks back. i ended up not going. i'd love to be able to feel "liberated" enough to go to a club alone, but honestly, that's really hard for me to do. i've never gone clubbing alone, and the only time i went to a bar alone i was locked out of my apt and knew the bartender at the bar anyway.

another thing, if you're a girl, you really do have to worry about random guys and spiked drinks. PLUS it gets EXTREMELY annoying to want to dance and have guys try to grind you and stuff. i went to a bar w/a small dance floor on sat night w/ some friends, and b/c i just wanna dance all night and they might for just 1/2 an hour or something, i still had to deal w/ annoying guidos on the dance floor.

carl cox is coming here next week, and again, i'm faced w/ the dilemma of going by myself or not at all, b/c no one i know in dallas will want to go. what to do? believe me, telling someone to do something and actually doing it are two very different things.

i miss my boucing crew :(

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Originally posted by MadamMillie

this is a good topic. i'm in a situation where i'm in dallas for a while where most (wait, ALL) of my buds here are not into the scene. i had a huge debate w/ myself whether or not to go see d:fuse here by myself a few weeks back. i ended up not going. i'd love to be able to feel "liberated" enough to go to a club alone, but honestly, that's really hard for me to do. i've never gone clubbing alone, and the only time i went to a bar alone i was locked out of my apt and knew the bartender at the bar anyway.

another thing, if you're a girl, you really do have to worry about random guys and spiked drinks. PLUS it gets EXTREMELY annoying to want to dance and have guys try to grind you and stuff. i went to a bar w/a small dance floor on sat night w/ some friends, and b/c i just wanna dance all night and they might for just 1/2 an hour or something, i still had to deal w/ annoying guidos on the dance floor.

carl cox is coming here next week, and again, i'm faced w/ the dilemma of going by myself or not at all, b/c no one i know in dallas will want to go. what to do? believe me, telling someone to do something and actually doing it are two very different things.

i miss my boucing crew :(

Hey Mils - I have a friend in Dallas who was just lamenting the same thing! She really wanted to see Sasha - but had no one to go with! If you want - I could send you here email!

Your bouncing partners here in DC miss you as well. :(

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Originally posted by MadamMillie

this is a good topic. i'm in a situation where i'm in dallas for a while where most (wait, ALL) of my buds here are not into the scene. i had a huge debate w/ myself whether or not to go see d:fuse here by myself a few weeks back. i ended up not going. i'd love to be able to feel "liberated" enough to go to a club alone, but honestly, that's really hard for me to do. i've never gone clubbing alone, and the only time i went to a bar alone i was locked out of my apt and knew the bartender at the bar anyway.

another thing, if you're a girl, you really do have to worry about random guys and spiked drinks. PLUS it gets EXTREMELY annoying to want to dance and have guys try to grind you and stuff. i went to a bar w/a small dance floor on sat night w/ some friends, and b/c i just wanna dance all night and they might for just 1/2 an hour or something, i still had to deal w/ annoying guidos on the dance floor.

carl cox is coming here next week, and again, i'm faced w/ the dilemma of going by myself or not at all, b/c no one i know in dallas will want to go. what to do? believe me, telling someone to do something and actually doing it are two very different things.

i miss my boucing crew :(

millie, that sux. i was faced with a similar dileme when i lived in Tampa, although since I'm a guy I guess its not all that similar, but being 4 hrs from Miami, there were countless times that I knew there was someting going on down there and couldnt go 'cos none of my lame-ass friends liked the music...they were all basically into bars..yuck..a few times i did go by myself staying with people i knew, but that sux having to dfeal with all the guido's and stuff....

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