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Destiny

Interracial couples???

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Originally posted by destiny779

Would you ever be in a relationship with someone of a different race?

i tried it more than once (3 times to be more exact) and to my disappointment it never worked. i have a theory about it but it'd take a while to explain. it has everything to do with commodification of the idea of multiculturality....i think there's a bit about it in the BET thread....anyone interested - ask me, lol

:D

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Originally posted by zlatang

i tried it more than once (3 times to be more exact) and to my disappointment it never worked. i have a theory about it but it'd take a while to explain. it has everything to do with commodification of the idea of multiculturality....i think there's a bit about it in the BET thread....anyone interested - ask me, lol

:D

So, are you trying to say that the reason your interracial relationships didn't work was because they were interracial? So, what about the failed relationships with people of your race? What excuse do you have for those failures? Maybe relationships fail because the two people aren't right for eachother... Now isn't that a novel reason?

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Originally posted by divalicious

So, are you trying to say that the reason your interracial relationships didn't work was because they were interracial? So, what about the failed relationships with people of your race? What excuse do you have for those failures? Maybe relationships fail because the two people aren't right for eachother... Now isn't that a novel reason?

all i wanted to say is that it makes it more difficult. the interracial thing, that is. the prob is that the cultural background one brings to the relationship depends on her/his race, in part of course. i found it difficult to understand, despite of my best intention, the background of the significant 'other.' there's of course a book written on this by derrida, LOL. sure i agree, it may have been that we didn't get along, but...there was more to it than that. and i'm not happy that i conclude this! :eek:

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Originally posted by zlatang

all i wanted to say is that it makes it more difficult. the interracial thing, that is. the prob is that the cultural background one brings to the relationship depends on her/his race, in part of course. i found it difficult to understand, despite of my best intention, the background of the significant 'other.' there's of course a book written on this by derrida, LOL. sure i agree, it may have been that we didn't get along, but...there was more to it than that. and i'm not happy that i conclude this! :eek:

i agree, in part, with that. when dating outside of your race, you are not only dating someone who is a different color than yourself, but also from a different culture. i'm 3rd generation asian american, and even though i am pretty much americanized, i find that in my interracial relationships there are times when my b/f at the time can't understand where i am coming from. it takes a lot of understanding, tolerance, patience, and a huge willingness to learn. you put that ontop of regular relationship concerns, and it can become very hard for the two people. so i can understand where zlatang is coming from.

despite the extra work that interracial relationships involve, it doesn't stop me from dating outside of my race. it does though, make me think a little more about the person i'm getting involved with.

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I'm in an interracial relationship with a Polish man (born in Poland, came to the US when he was 17), and we have no problems due to the fact that we are from different races, nor from the fact that he comes from Europe, and I'm an American. The differences in the ways we grew up are something that we both feel are fascinating, and wonderful, because we bring 2 different perspectives to the table. We make for a more comprehensive couple, because we have a larger base of experience. It's a wonderful thing!

Not to be argumentative, but... Using your argument, I could say that if I dated a man from Africa, we would have problems because of our cultural differences.... Yet, we are of the same race.

My point is that there are going to be problems in any relationship, if the two people aren't right for eachother. "Not understanding where you are coming from" is something of which even someone who shares your ethnicity can be guilty. This is not necessarily going to be the case, just because you are dating someone outside of your race, or who does not share your culture.

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i think my wording was a little misleading when i said that i didnt feel that my partner "knew where i was coming from." true, that happens in all relationships at times, no matter what the race of your significant other is. i was trying to say that i have found it sometimes difficult for myself to get my partner to see that i have views based on my culture. It can hard for me to explain to someone of a different race why i feel things about a certain issue - as compared to when im with someone who is of the same background as i am and automatically knows what i'm talking about w/o me even explaining it.

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Originally posted by divalicious

I'm in an interracial relationship with a Polish man (born in Poland, came to the US when he was 17), and we have no problems due to the fact that we are from different races, nor from the fact that he comes from Europe, and I'm an American. The differences in the ways we grew up are something that we both feel are fascinating, and wonderful, because we bring 2 different perspectives to the table. We make for a more comprehensive couple, because we have a larger base of experience. It's a wonderful thing!

Not to be argumentative, but... Using your argument, I could say that if I dated a man from Africa, we would have problems because of our cultural differences.... Yet, we are of the same race.

My point is that there are going to be problems in any relationship, if the two people aren't right for eachother. "Not understanding where you are coming from" is something of which even someone who shares your ethnicity can be guilty. This is not necessarily going to be the case, just because you are dating someone outside of your race, or who does not share your culture.

what can i say? i'm very happy for the two of you:)

overcoming the problems that arise from multicultural background is what the idea of multiculture is all about....

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Originally posted by nifer

i think my wording was a little misleading when i said that i didnt feel that my partner "knew where i was coming from." true, that happens in all relationships at times, no matter what the race of your significant other is. i was trying to say that i have found it sometimes difficult for myself to get my partner to see that i have views based on my culture. It can hard for me to explain to someone of a different race why i feel things about a certain issue - as compared to when im with someone who is of the same background as i am and automatically knows what i'm talking about w/o me even explaining it.

on the other hand, this is exactly what i meant - that there are things one doesn't need to explain...moreover, the inter-racial undestanding makes it much easier....anyway...

:cool:

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Alrighty, well, for those of you who've had bad experiences with inter-racial dating... I hope that you don't let those failed relationships sour you on inter-racial dating. Love is hard enough to find, without putting limitations on the types of people you date.

:)

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Originally posted by destiny779

im hopin if i go thru with this its gonn work out

i dont want you to feel discouraged or anything by my posts. i just wanted to say that there might be some difficulties you may come across that you havent experienced in your past relationships.

i hope things work out for you :)

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:bounce: im hoping its gonna work...he's such a great guy and it broke my heart the other day when he told me that everytime i push him away im ripping a piece of his heart away...it didnt discourage me i already knew that if i go thru with it that theres gonna b some dificulty...i actually appreciate all the advice i can get

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Originally posted by destiny779

:bounce: im hoping its gonna work...he's such a great guy and it broke my heart the other day when he told me that everytime i push him away im ripping a piece of his heart away...it didnt discourage me i already knew that if i go thru with it that theres gonna b some dificulty...i actually appreciate all the advice i can get

but is this really drama?

:confused:

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