SPYGIRL3 Posted March 16 Report Share Posted March 16 The Five Levels of Drinking LEVEL 1: It's 11pm on a weeknight, you've had a few beers. Just as you get up to leave because you have to work the next day, one of your friends buys another round -- one of your *unemployed* friends. Here, at level one, you think to yourself, "Oh come on, this is silly, as long as I get seven hours of sleep, I'll be fine." LEVEL 2: It's midnight. You've had a few more beers. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing against the use of artificial turf. You get up to leave again, but at level two, a little devil appears on your shoulder. And now you're thinking, "Hey! I'm out with my friends! What am I working for anyway? These are the good times! Besides, as long as I get five hours of sleep, I'm cool." LEVEL 3: 1am. You've abandoned beer for tequila. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing FOR the use of artificial turf. And now you're thinking, "Our waitress is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen!" At level three, you love the world. On the way to the bathroom, you buy a drink for the stranger at the end of the bar just because you like his face. You get drinking fantasies (like, "Hey fellas, if we bought our own bar, we could live together forever. We could do it. Tommy, you could cook."). But at level three, that devil is a little bit bigger... and he's buying. And you're thinking, "Oh, come on, come on now. As long as I get three hours of sleep... and a complete change of blood, I'm cool." LEVEL 4: 2am. And the devil is bartending. For last call, you ordered a bottle of rum and a Coke. You ARE artificial turf! This time, on your way to the bathroom, you punch the stranger at the end of the bar just because you don't like his face! And now you're thinking, "Our busboy is the best looking man I've ever seen." You and your friends decide to leave, right after you get thrown out, and one of you knows an afterhours bar. Here, at level four, you actually think to yourself, "Well... as long as I'm only going to get a few hours sleep anyway, I may as well stay up all night! Yeah! That'd be good for me. I don't mind going to that board meeting looking like Keith Richards. Yeah, I'll turn that around, make it works for me. And besides, as long as I get 31 hours sleep tomorrow, I'm cool." LEVEL 5: 5am. After unsuccessfully trying to get your money back at the tattoo parlor ("But I don't even know anybody named Simon!"), you and your friends wind up across the state line in a bar with guys who have been in prison as recently as... that morning. It's the kind of place where even the devil is saying, "Uh, I gotta turn in. I gotta be in Hell by nine." At this point, you're all drinking some kind of thick blue liquor, like something from a Klingon wedding. A waitress with fresh stitches comes over, and you think to yourself, "Someday I'm gonna marry that girl!" One of your friends stands up and screams, "WE'RE DRIVIN' TO VEGAS, BABY!!!!!"-- and passes out. You crawl outside for air, and then you hit the worst part of level 5----the sun. You weren't expecting that were you? You never do. You walk out of a bar in daylight, and you see people on their way to work or worse, jogging. And they look at you and they know. And they say, "Who's Simon?" Let's be honest, if you're 19 and you stay up all night, it's like a victory -- you've beat the night. But if you're over 30, then that sun is like God's flashlight. We all say the same prayer and then, "I swear, I will never do this again as long as I live!" And some of us have that little addition, "and this time, I mean it!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snoboardr2 Posted March 16 Report Share Posted March 16 thats too funny(If only i was old enough to go to bars--lol) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glowgrlnyc Posted March 16 Report Share Posted March 16 :laugh: :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
o-jay® Posted March 16 Report Share Posted March 16 I have experienced all five levels simultaneously. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted March 17 Author Report Share Posted March 17 Originally posted by snoboardr2 thats too funny(If only i was old enough to go to bars--lol) Oh, you'll have your turn...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boywonder77 Posted March 17 Report Share Posted March 17 I'm a bartender so if I'm out, I aint got shit to do in the morning. But I love watching my friends go through that process every night. I'm the guy who makes you do "one shot, I promise". I'm the guy who whispers in your ear, "What's the difference, suck it up, I hardly ever see you, the boys have been saying your a pussy". I'm the guy who tells the bartender to make your drinks stronger when your on your cell phone telling your girlfriend your gonna be home "in fifteen minutes".I'm the guy you curse out in the morning and swear your "never going out with me again".I'm the guy you call when you want to get fucked up again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Posted March 17 Report Share Posted March 17 LMAO !!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
glowgrlnyc Posted March 18 Report Share Posted March 18 Originally posted by boywonder77 I'm a bartender so if I'm out, I aint got shit to do in the morning. But I love watching my friends go through that process every night. I'm the guy who makes you do "one shot, I promise". I'm the guy who whispers in your ear, "What's the difference, suck it up, I hardly ever see you, the boys have been saying your a pussy". I'm the guy who tells the bartender to make your drinks stronger when your on your cell phone telling your girlfriend your gonna be home "in fifteen minutes".I'm the guy you curse out in the morning and swear your "never going out with me again".I'm the guy you call when you want to get fucked up again. HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA....now THAT's a GooD GUY!!! ......I am the same exact way, because I dont work mornings...the earliest I ever work is 3pm:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snoboardr2 Posted March 18 Report Share Posted March 18 everyone is like "you will like bars sooooooooo much more than clubs"... i dont knw who, but thats wht ppl i work with say... and they are all college age.i wanna be old enough toi go to bars... but im havin fun drinkin my ass off 2 HS parties on fri + sat nights... unless i go to the city afterwqrd if im not too drunk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted March 18 Author Report Share Posted March 18 Originally posted by snoboardr2 everyone is like "you will like bars sooooooooo much more than clubs"... i dont knw who, but thats wht ppl i work with say... and they are all college age.i wanna be old enough toi go to bars... but im havin fun drinkin my ass off 2 HS parties on fri + sat nights... unless i go to the city afterwqrd if im not too drunk It's a whole other world!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boywonder77 Posted March 18 Report Share Posted March 18 Originally posted by snoboardr2 everyone is like "you will like bars sooooooooo much more than clubs"... i dont knw who, but thats wht ppl i work with say... and they are all college age.i wanna be old enough toi go to bars... but im havin fun drinkin my ass off 2 HS parties on fri + sat nights... unless i go to the city afterwqrd if im not too drunk Can I come to some High School parties with you? Uuh, nevermind that's probably not a good idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted March 19 Author Report Share Posted March 19 Originally posted by boywonder77 Can I come to some High School parties with you? Uuh, nevermind that's probably not a good idea. Looking for some underage girls???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suthrnbelle Posted March 19 Report Share Posted March 19 i am a bartender too, so i have seen all levels, and helped them along and unfortunately, i have been down that road myself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted March 19 Author Report Share Posted March 19 I think anyone who has drank, has hit one, if not all of these levels... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misk Posted March 20 Report Share Posted March 20 i think i plowed and paved the 5 roads Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marcid21 Posted March 20 Report Share Posted March 20 Originally posted by boywonder77 I'm a bartender so if I'm out, I aint got shit to do in the morning. But I love watching my friends go through that process every night. I'm the guy who makes you do "one shot, I promise". I'm the guy who whispers in your ear, "What's the difference, suck it up, I hardly ever see you, the boys have been saying your a pussy". I'm the guy who tells the bartender to make your drinks stronger when your on your cell phone telling your girlfriend your gonna be home "in fifteen minutes".I'm the guy you curse out in the morning and swear your "never going out with me again".I'm the guy you call when you want to get fucked up again. Ahhh...that's YOU?!?!?!?! :eek: I LOVE YOU!!! You're my hero! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boywonder77 Posted March 20 Report Share Posted March 20 Originally posted by marcid21 Ahhh...that's YOU?!?!?!?! :eek: I LOVE YOU!!! You're my hero! Don't think I won't drive up to Montreal just to get you banged up. :horns: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexxyh Posted March 25 Report Share Posted March 25 Originally posted by boywonder77 I'm the guy you call when you want to get fucked up again. ~~~whats ur number again??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexxyh Posted March 26 Report Share Posted March 26 ~~~i think ill get up to level 9 in cancun:tongue: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boywonder77 Posted March 26 Report Share Posted March 26 Originally posted by sexxyh ~~~i think ill get up to level 9 in cancun:tongue: Iv'e been there too. Level 9 in Cancun is when you go back to a hotel with some girl, go to get a soda at the vending machine, forget what floor you were on so you say fuck it and go back to the strip. You wind up at SLICES at 9 in the morning only to get kicked out for grabbing the whistle off the shot girls neck and trying to reinsert it in her a different way. On the walk back to the hotel you sing god bless america as obnoxiosly as you can in the face of every mexican you pass. After sneaking back into your hotel (I think this is my hotel) you stumble to the pool where you triumphantly exclaim, "I AM THE KING OF MEXICO". Then you wake up four hours later severely sunburnt, but only on your back from lying face first on the concrete. Repeat step 1. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Destiny Posted March 26 Report Share Posted March 26 :laugh: Sounds like fun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sexxyh Posted March 27 Report Share Posted March 27 Originally posted by boywonder77 Iv'e been there too. Level 9 in Cancun is when you go back to a hotel with some girl, go to get a soda at the vending machine, forget what floor you were on so you say fuck it and go back to the strip. You wind up at SLICES at 9 in the morning only to get kicked out for grabbing the whistle off the shot girls neck and trying to reinsert it in her a different way. On the walk back to the hotel you sing god bless america as obnoxiosly as you can in the face of every mexican you pass. After sneaking back into your hotel (I think this is my hotel) you stumble to the pool where you triumphantly exclaim, "I AM THE KING OF MEXICO". Then you wake up four hours later severely sunburnt, but only on your back from lying face first on the concrete. Repeat step 1. ~~~can't wait!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SPYGIRL3 Posted March 27 Author Report Share Posted March 27 Originally posted by boywonder77 Iv'e been there too. Level 9 in Cancun is when you go back to a hotel with some girl, go to get a soda at the vending machine, forget what floor you were on so you say fuck it and go back to the strip. You wind up at SLICES at 9 in the morning only to get kicked out for grabbing the whistle off the shot girls neck and trying to reinsert it in her a different way. On the walk back to the hotel you sing god bless america as obnoxiosly as you can in the face of every mexican you pass. After sneaking back into your hotel (I think this is my hotel) you stumble to the pool where you triumphantly exclaim, "I AM THE KING OF MEXICO". Then you wake up four hours later severely sunburnt, but only on your back from lying face first on the concrete. Repeat step 1. Drinking in Mexico is like a ahole other universe...You never know how much alchol and what lil food one's body can hold till you been Mexico!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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