Tough Lessons

[bluegirl]

well up until recently i never loved anyone and i was never cheated on

these two feelings have to be the most intense emotions i have ever had to deal with, and i am struggling

i finally give my heart to someone and i did try to run away at first because of my fears, but my fears unfortunately became a reality

i fell in love and i was cheated on

the pain is unbearable however i feel i have grown because of it

a muscle that isnt flexed doesnt grow

and my heart was never flexed

bad experiences only help us to become better

part of me can look at this optimistically but another part of me feels empty

i know this sexboard is full of intelligent men and women

whose words have helped me in the past

and right now i need some advice especially from someone whose been where i am now, this is all new to me

thanks

[marcid21]

awww...sweets.... *smoochies*

I feel some of your pain....it's really hard to open up to someone without reservations....especially in the long run when dreaded fears are proven true....

but me...w/ my gosh darn useless "look on the bright side moments"... <<sigh>>

I was in a situtation somewhat similar, yet a lil far off where you're coming from...but all I can say was the way I felt....down inside....those feelings I developed for that other person...it was a relief. A relief that I didn't have complete ice running through my veins, and a relief that I wasn't a total gonner.

Every situtation/relationship is a stepping stone all leading to one place. I can't help make the hurt of broken trust go away... time does that...but maybe shed some light on the bad stuff, and remind you one day opening up will have its' rewards.

[tastyt]

Oh god... I am so sorry Glow. He didn't cheat on me, but the first time I fell insanely in love, the guy broke my heart into a million pieces because he didn't give a shit about me. I've been hurt so many times since then, but NOTHING has compared to that agony.

And when I was cheated on- even though I was no longer in love with the guy... it still felt like a kick in the gut.

I'm glad to hear you're doing your best to keep a level head about it though; the best thing you can do is look at this as a learning experience, something which will only make you a stronger person in the long run. It will probably take a long time, but you'll get past the pain.

Good luck honey.

[bluegirl]

well thank u marcid

it is true i have never been able to open before

i just made this decision to leave him and now i doubt if it was right

because the whole trust issue is important

however he was in cancun and says he only kissed two girls

and i thought it wouldnt bother me if he got with other people

but this was my first love and he kept on insisting that he wouldnt cheat

and i feel betrayed

do u think i am overreacting because love is new to me?

[ReginaP]

Originally posted by glowdancer

well thank u marcid

it is true i have never been able to open before

i just made this decision to leave him and now i doubt if it was right

because the whole trust issue is important

however he was in cancun and says he only kissed two girls

and i thought it wouldnt bother me if he got with other people

but this was my first love and he kept on insisting that he wouldnt cheat

and i feel betrayed

do u think i am overreacting because love is new to me?

Um, no you're definitely not overreacting hon. And I'm sorry...unfortunately, I've been there

I never understood the concept of cheating. If you're no longer in love with someone, take a break or end the relationship...I'm sorry, but nothing hurts more then someone telling you they are interested in someone else while they are supposed to be with you. The relationship that I was in most recently--as recently as what, 2-3 weeks ago? -I learned a lot from. We were together for a year & a few months, with a break in between when we were "seeing other people." Apparently, even though that period was supposedly over, my ex seemed to forget that and continued to be with other people . I treated this guy like gold, like my best friend--which makes it all the worse. Anyway my point being is that if you're ever interested in others during your relationship (after having made a committment), just end it already. I believe in 2nd chances but the fact that your guy's wasn't a one time thing--in fact, 2x in one week--well, you deserve better sweetie.

LOL I know I was kind of rambling there, but I'm still trying to make sense of what I feel & what I want to say. Everyone is right though--time does help. And you'll find someone better and all the other cliches out there . Maybe it'll take a woman that treats him like shit to for this guy to realize what he had in you, 'cause you're a sweetie

G'luck

[Destiny]

Awww I'm sorry glow...that sucks...the only words of wisdom I can give you is that they're are lots of sweet guys out there ....you're going to hurt a lot at first obviously but it does get better ..stay strong and keep looking at it optimistically... another guy will come along and make you feel so much better and treat you like a queen...and this one won't break your heart..Good luck sweetie

[djwhitemike]

Love always hurts at first, because ur first love usually never lasts. Life goes on glow.....u'll love again, and u'll be hurt again. Thats how life is....its great sometimes, it sux really bad sometimes.

[bluegirl]

damn, its like a year later

and well i feel i am constantly taking a step forward

but then sometimes i take two back

oh well, this thread really brings back memories

but i definitelly kicked closure in the crotch and moved on

i <3 the sexboard, lol